Twenty Questions Ni Juan Ekis*

This play won a Palanca Award for 1-Act Plays.


MGA TAUHAN
Jigs - Fresh grad. Kabarkada ni Yumi. Magtatrabahobilang researcher sa isang financial firm
Yumi - Commercial Model. Kabarkada ni Jigs. 2 yearsahead kay Jigs.

TAGPO
Gabi. Sa isang kwarto ng isang beach resort.Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sasahig habang inaayos ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.
YUMI Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentle man.Naaawa ako sa¹yo e. Tabina tayo sa kama.
JIGS Hindi, okay lang ako dito.
YUMI Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kitano. Malaki naman itong kama e. Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.
JIGS Sure ka?
YUMI Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?
JIGS (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?
YUMI Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumotna divider.
JIGS Good idea.
Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahatiang kama sa gitna. Magsesettle down ang dalawa. Ilalabas ni Jigs anglibro niya: ³Puppy Love andother Stories² ni F. Sionil Jose. Si Yumi naman aymagpapatugtog ng Japanese ZenMusic habang nagsa-zazen.
YUMI Do you mind?
JIGS No, go ahead. I¹m just reading.
Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silangdi maka-concentrate.Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.
YUMI I can¹t believe our friends.
JIGS Oo nga e.
YUMI Dapat ginagawa nila ?to sa mga bagong pasok sabarkada o kaya sabagong...ay oo nga pala. Bagong graduate ka. Congrats.
JIGS Thanks.
YUMI So what¹re your plans?
JIGS Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rinako ng BPI sa OTP nila.
YUMI Wow naman. In demand.
JIGS Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented thistradition anyway?
YUMI (Matatawa) You won¹t believe it.
JIGS Ikaw?
YUMI Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.
JIGS So why did you start it?
YUMI Wala ka pa sa tropa nun e. Freshman ka pa langsiguro noon. Wala lang. Napagtripan lang namin si Ronald. E may crush siya kayMeg. Noong unang besesmagpunta rito ng barkada, sabi ko, magsimula kami ngtradition. Ilo-lotterynamin ang pangalan ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae. Kungsino ang mabubunot,silang dalawa ang pagsasamahin sa isang kwarto sa loobng tatlong araw. Andthen, we¹ll all see what happens. Pero dinaya naminnoon yung kay Ronald atMeg. Puro Ronald at Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagaysa lottery.
JIGS (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!
YUMI Kaya nga nakarma na ako e.
JIGS So is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?
YUMI (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?
JIGS Feeling ko may nagtrip sa¹kin sa barkada e.
YUMI Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don¹tsee any reason kung bakit tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima this year,unless may crush ka sa¹kinna di ko alam at alam nila (tatawa).
JIGS Baka ikaw (tatawa).
YUMI The success rate of this tradition is 100% sofar.
JIGS I was here na the 2nd time. Si Chris at si Ciaang biktima.
YUMI And last year were Rod and Kay. They¹re gettingmarried kailan?
Sa June yata.
JIGS What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalakiat isang babae sa isang kwarto for three days, imposibleng walang mangyaridoon!
YUMI That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)
JIGS E kung may madisgrasya?
YUMI Ano¹ng disgrasya?
JIGS Alam mo na ?yun!
Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider nilang kumot.
YUMI Ano? Sex? Pa¹no kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa kanaman. Di mo masabi.
JIGS Ang alin?
YUMI Ang sex!
JIGS Hah!
YUMI Sige nga sabihin mo nga?
JIGS Para kang tanga. Tumigil ka nga.
YUMI Shet, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!
JIGS Excuse me?
YUMI Sabihin mo nga: ³Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!²
JIGS Para kang bata, Yumi ha.
YUMI You used to call me ate Yumi when you were inthird year.
JIGS Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.
Tahimik.
JIGS Hmmm. I wonder if we¹re gonna last three days.
YUMI (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa¹kin?
Di sasagot si Jigs.
YUMI We¹re gonna survive this one.
JIGS What makes you so sure?
YUMI No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you veryattractive pero I¹ve no timefor this. Alam mo naman siguro na kaka'
JIGS Same here.
YUMI Same here what? Na you find me attractive o youdon¹t have time for this?(Matatawa)
Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang CDplayer at ipagpapatuloy ang zazen. Itatabi ni Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siyang ganang magbasa. Pupuntasiya sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.
JIGS Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How veryconducive.
YUMI May chips ba diyan?
JIGS Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.
Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player. Tatayo siya at kukuhang chips sa ibabaw ng ref.
YUMI Since we¹re gonna be stuck naman with each otherfor three days, might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na lang natin.
JIGS What do you mean?
YUMI Get the wine, let¹s have a drink! 50 hours to go na lang and
we¹re gonna be the first failure of this tradition.
JIGS Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.)
When they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e.Lalo na sina Rod and Kay.Kung baga, tinulungan lang natin silang umamin saisa¹t isa. Pero us...
YUMI Weird ng barkada natin no?
JIGS To our barkada and our weird traditions!
YUMI To us, the first failure of this tradition!
Magto-toast sila at iinom.
JIGS Sige, ate Yumi. Let¹s make our stay here more interesting...
YUMI What¹s with the ate?
JIGS Fine...
Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo sila pareho sa sahig para magkwentuhan.
JIGS Let¹s play twenty questions.
YUMI Sige! Ano yon?
JIGS Each of us will have ten questions each.Tatanungin kita, tatanungin mo ako, mga gusto nating malaman sa isa¹t isa. Alternatetayo. Pero the thing here is, you can¹t ask the question that I already asked.
YUMI That¹s pretty interesting.
JIGS At bawal magsinungaling.
YUMI Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside thisroom remains in the room.Ok?
JIGS Of course. You wanna start?
YUMI No. I want to ask the last question. (Ngingiti at kikindatan si Jigs)
JIGS Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo sa buhay?
YUMI Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walangka-challenge-challenge. Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.
JIGS Simula pa lang e.
YUMI Sige. Ano nga ba...?
JIGS Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge-challenge?
YUMI Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako...I¹m a frustrated ballet dancer.
JIGS Talaga?
YUMI I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako.Wala kasi akong disiplinae. Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero Ireally enjoy watching ballet dancers. When I see them dance parati kongkaiisip na sana, ako rin.There! Ang dali naman ng tanong mo. Walang thrill.
JIGS Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa¹kin mamaya.
YUMI We¹ll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality? Imean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla ka?
JIGS Never.
YUMI Bilis ng sagot a.
JIGS Coz I never entertained the idea.
YUMI Homophobe ka ba?
JIGS Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?
YUMI So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?
JIGS I¹m straight, okay?
YUMI I¹m not asking if you¹re gay or not. I¹m askingkung...
JIGS Never nga.
YUMI We all thought na you were gay. Well at leastnung first few months mo sa tropa before you introduced your girlfriend to us.
JIGS What?! You thought I was gay?!
YUMI E pa¹no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogimo, pero parang allergic ka sa mga babae. Over ang pagiging gentleman mo. Toogood to be true. You have a good body, it seems that you work out pero iniisipnamin front mo lang yun.Kadalasan kasi front ng mga bakla ang pagiging magandang katawan nila atpagiging sporty...
Tatawa lang si Jigs.
YUMI So we thought it¹s either that or you were planning to become a priest.
JIGS What?!
YUMI Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta ka sa chapel.Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba...
JIGS The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.
YUMI Of course not. I didn¹t mean that!
JIGS I take my faith seriously. That doesn¹t make me gay!
YUMI So you did want to become a priest...
JIGS Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family...and be a father.
Tahimik.
YUMI So you¹re not gay.
JIGS No.
YUMI You never...
JIGS Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It¹s my turn.
YUMI Homophobe ka no?
JIGS Hindi kaya!
YUMI Whatever...
JIGS Ako na, daya mo naman e.
YUMI Okay, okay. Shoot me.
JIGS How do you see yourself five years from now?
YUMI You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga tanong mo e.
JIGS The object of this game is not to win.
YUMI E ano pa ba?
JIGS To get to know the other person.
YUMI Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walangthrill ang isang game kung walang nananalo.
JIGS Sagot.
YUMI May time limit ba ?to? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.
JIGS Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.
Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.
YUMI Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito?(Iinom) To answer your question, either maging entrepreneur ako, magsisimulaako ng sarili aong botique or bar, o kaya, magiging artista ako sa pelikula.
JIGS Not bad.
YUMI Pero mukhang malabo yung stint ko sa movies.Tough ang competition e. Sakamahina ang manager ko. Panay hosting at pictorials angnakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan ko na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako, baka magtayo na lang ako ngbotique.
JIGS (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?
YUMI Yuck!
JIGS Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon dumadaan.
YUMI May talent naman ako kahit papano a!
JIGS Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib!(Tatawa)
YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga!Akala ko goody-goodyka...Hindi ko papatulan ang pagbobold kahit ano¹ngmangyari no! Kahit ganitoako, may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.
JIGS Ganito? Ano¹ng ganito?
Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.
YUMI These producers think all the people want is sex,sex, sex! Kaya purobasura ang mga pelikula e. Wine pa nga!
JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?
YUMI Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Akona¹ng magtatanong. Ang kornimo namang magtanong. Bigatan naman natin nangkonti...Inom ka muna. Iinom siJigs. Magsasalin siya ng bago.
YUMI Who was your first crush in the barkada?
Tahimik.
YUMI Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.
Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng bago.
JIGS Lalaki o babae?
Tatawa sila pareho.
YUMI Dapat may time limit ito e.
Tahimik.
JIGS Hirap naman ng tanong mo.
YUMI Iyon nga ang maganda e. Para may thrill. As ifnaman ibo-broadcast ko sabarkada kung sino.
JIGS Wine pa?
YUMI Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong kana!
Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay Yumi.
JIGS Yung crush ko kasi...siyempre, sino pa ba? E diyung pinakamaganda sabarkada.
YUMI Nge. Subjective yon no! Para sa¹kin angpinakagwapo si Joel. Sa > babae, siKay. Para kay Ronald, si Meg...
JIGS Yung literally na may dating'walangtanung-tanong. Yung kahit sino¹ngtanungin mo sa tropa, objectively, siya ang isasagot.
YUMI Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindiguessing game. C¹mon man.Play your own game. Pa¹no na kung truth or dare to edi pahirapan na. Dadalawana nga lang tayo e.
JIGS Yung commercial model.
Matitigilan si Yumi.
YUMI Wine pa nga.
Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si Yumi. Iinom. Biglangmatatawa.
YUMI (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?
JIGS Sige, pagtawanan ba?
YUMI You can say it to my face, I won¹t bite. Bakithirap na hirap kang sabihinkung sino? Takot kang ma-reject? Parang tanong lange...Wine pa nga!
JIGS Okay, 1 point ka na...
YUMI (Ngiti) Gee...thanks. Flattered naman ako. Atkailan naman nangyari ito?
JIGS Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is yourcrush in the barkada...NOW?
YUMI E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.
JIGS Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW.Ang tanong mo, first crushko.
YUMI Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ?to,tambak ka na.
JIGS Just answer the question.
YUMI Siyempre wala. I told you, I don¹t have time forthese stuff. Kakabreak kolang di ba?
JIGS Korni mo namang sumagot.
YUMI E korni yung tanong e. Pero kungtalagang-talagang kailangan kongsumagot...hmmm...teka...sino nga ba? Sino ba¹ng crushmaterial sa barkada? Walaakong maisip e. Ikaw na lang.
JIGS Yung seryoso naman.
YUMI Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang...
JIGS E napipilitan ka lang e.
YUMI Uy! Pa¹no ba¹yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crushkita...yiheee
(Tatawa).
JIGS Dati pa ?yon no!
YUMI Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Anonamang ginawa ko? Tsk.Tsk.
JIGS Is that your question na?
YUMI Oy, hinde! Ito naman...di ba pwedengmag-follow-up?
Iinom ng wine si Jigs.
YUMI Fine. Here¹s a little juicy question: Describeyour first kiss.
JIGS That¹s not even a question.
YUMI Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?
Matatawa si Jigs.
JIGS Wet.
YUMI Yuck!
Magtatawanan sila.
JIGS Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasikami nung isa kongkaibigan. Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa kanya, parati kosiyang kini-kiss sa noo. Eone time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya sasahig. Tinatamad siyangtumayo. So bumaba ako nang konti para halikan siya sanoo kasi pauwi na ako. Esiya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto,sa lips ko siya nahalikan.Pareho kaming nagulat. Pero di pa kami naghiwalayagad. Weird nga ang feeling e.Parang may glue. Ayaw na namin maghiwalay pareho...
Tawa pa rin si Yumi
YUMI Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. SiKrissy ba to?
JIGS Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.
YUMI So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?
JIGS Nope.
YUMI Ha?
JIGS Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namine. May boyfriend siyanoon. Ako naman, takot pa sa isang relationship. Peroat least, na-discovernamin na pareho pala kaming may gusto sa isa¹t isa.Pero hanggang doon na lang.
YUMI What happened after?
JIGS We talked about it. We both decided na it wontwork. Tapos, bigla na lang,hindi na kami nagkikita. And then, I met you guys, ibana ang barkada ko.
YUMI Nakakatuwa naman.
JIGS Ikaw, pa¹no yung first kiss mo?
YUMI Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba?Bakit ba lagi mongbini-break ang rules? Di mo na pwedeng tanungin ?yan!
JIGS Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom ngwine) Okay, naka-warm-upna ako: What was the naughtiest thing you ever did?
YUMI ?Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba¹ng ibig mong sabihinng naughty?
JIGS Bahala kang mag-define.
YUMI Hmmm...marami e...(matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.
JIGS Kanina ayaw mo ng korni. Ngayong medyo excitingnaman...
YUMI Eto na...I had two boyfriends at the same time.
JIGS (Nagulat) Hala.
YUMI I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.
JIGS Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?
YUMI Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako(matatawa).
JIGS Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo¹t ginawa mo ?yon,aber?
YUMI Nag-eexperiment lang ako. E sa type ko silapareho e.Ano¹ng magagawa ko?Saka para may thrill. Alam mo ?yon? Yung patago kangnakikipag-date sa isa paradi mahuli. Everyday pa akong nakakalibre, kasi,alternate sila! (Tatawa) Akalan¹yo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng gumawa no¹n?
JIGS How can you love two guys at the same time?
YUMI Who said something about love? Walang kinalamanang love dun. Iwas...having fun!
JIGS Nainlove ka na ba, ever?
YUMI Nakakailang tanong ka na? It¹s my turn.
JIGS Don¹t you want to answer the question anyway?
YUMI My turn!
JIGS Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)
Ubos na ang unang wine bottle. Kukuha si Jigs ng isapa sa ref.
JIGS Ang bilis nating uminom a.
YUMI Are you still a virgin?
JIGS Whoa! Where did that come from?
YUMI That¹s my fourth question.
JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tinginmo?
Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang siya ni Yumi.
YUMI Don¹t tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo niKrissy hanggang ngayon?Ilang taon na ba kayo?
JIGS Mag-tu-two years na sana next week.
YUMI So virgin ka pa? I don¹t believe it!
JIGS Mukha ba akong tarantado?
YUMI Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.
JIGS Insulto ba ?yon?
YUMI Compliment ?yon, tanga.
JIGS Ah, okay. Thanks.
YUMI Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?
JIGS Alin? Sex?
YUMI Wow! Nasabi rin niya!
JIGS Of course I always feel it. Natural lang ?yon satao no? Nasa iyo na lang?yan kung ano¹ng gagawin mo sa urge na ?yon.
YUMI E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? Imean, pag naiihi ka, iihika. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka. Pareho lang ?yon, diba?
JIGS Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mongumihi. At hindi ka iihi kahitsaan. Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain kadahil kailangan. Athindi mo kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain saiyo. Pag di ka gutom, di kakakain. Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain, di mo gagalawin.Ang aso, pag may nakitangpagkain diyan, walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon ?yan.
YUMI And sex is the same?
JIGS Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context.At least, yun angnagpaiba sa atin sa aso.
YUMI Grabe ka namang magsalita. Para mo na ringsinabing lahat ng nakikipagsex,aso ah!
JIGS Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto,mali.
YUMI And what is that context?
JIGS Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam nanatin yan.
Tahimik.
JIGS Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natinginagawa.
Tahimik.
JIGS Masarap e. Sino ba¹ng ayaw nun?
Tahimik.
YUMI (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapatkang i-congratulate forbeing a virgin!
JIGS Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko.Ineexplain ko lang kung bakit diko ginagawa. May kanya-kanya tayong dahilan. Di kopinipilit kahit kanino angmga paniniwala ko...No need to get so cross about it,
Yumi.
Tahimik.
JIGS It¹s not about being a virgin or not. It¹s aboutputting things into theirproper places.
YUMI I¹m not arguing with you.
JIGS Me neither. I¹m just answering your questions.
Matagal na katahimikan.
Ngingiti si Jigs.
Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita sa nakaraangtrain of conversation nila.Magsasalin siya ng wine para kay Yumi.
JIGS Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa) Youstill wanna go on with thegame? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more to go. (Ngingiti)
YUMI Shoot me.
JIGS Who was your first lay?
YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Ang bastos motalaga! So ina-assumevb mo nahindi na ako virgin?
JIGS E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walangnananalo e. So I guessI¹m winning. Saka wala naman akong inimply na ganun a!I¹m just hitting twobirds with one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simplelang ang sagot: wala.Kung hindi naman, e di sino?
YUMI Ang daya mo.
JIGS Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.
YUMI You think I¹ll answer that after giving yoursermon, Father Jigs?
JIGS Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personalreasons ko. Kung ano man ang saiyo, I¹ll respect them as well as I know you respectmine. I¹m no saint. I¹mjust trying to get to know you better. (Ngingiti)
YUMI How do you do that?
JIGS Alin?
YUMI I should have walked out on you kanina pa perothe way you saythings...parang bumabaliktad sa¹yo...makes youmore...charming. Kung ibang taoka siguro, di na kita kakausapin.
JIGS You can¹t walk out. We¹re locked here for threedays except for meals.
YUMI So I¹m forced to like you para di masira angvacation ko. (Ngingiti)
JIGS You don¹t have to answer my question if you don¹twant.
YUMI I guess I¹ll be honest with you as you werehonest with me...
Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.
YUMI Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was myfirst boyfriend. It wasSenior Prom Night. Alam mo na...typical senior promstory. Everyone wants tolose it on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag promnight, it was somethingspecial. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We made outsa kotse niya. One thingled to the other. Tapos, yun...yun na. We went backjust in time for theawarding of the prom queen. Guess what, I won pa.(Mahinang tawa)
JIGS What was it like?
YUMI Now that I look back, it isn¹t as special as Ithought it was. Pero it wasdifferent then. Back then, we were just led by ourpassions. Alam mo yon? Andunka na. Hormones raging wild. Passions and Ideals areconfused. Akala mo love,yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo yun na yon.Akala mo you are in-love atlahat ng gawin mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo perfect.Everything wasmagical...well, almost.
JIGS Almost...?
YUMI Sa next question mo na ?yan. Ako na.
JIGS (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.
YUMI Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa¹kin no?(Tatawa)
JIGS Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na. (Tatawa)
YUMI Engot. Hindi ?yon. Here¹s something na curiouslang ako. Kasi I¹ve beenhearing things...saka you¹ve hinted on it na rinkanina...Are you still withKrissy?
JIGS Hindi na.
YUMI Since when?
JIGS Two, maybe three weeks ago?
YUMI Sino¹ng nakipag-break?
JIGS Pareho kami.
YUMI Why?
JIGS Maraming dahilan, actually. Naisip na lang naminna it won¹t work. Isa nado¹n, magkaiba kami ng gustong mangyari sa buhay.Magkaiba kami ng mgapinaniniwalaan.
YUMI Like what?
JIGS Marami.
YUMI At ngayon mo lang nalaman iyon after two yearswith her?
JIGS People change, Yumi.
Tahimik.
JIGS Right before graduation, she asked me to move inwith her.
YUMI Talaga?
JIGS Sabi niya, doon na naman din daw papunta angrelasyon namin. Might as wellpractice na raw for the real thing. Tutal, she¹sworking na naman, ako namanbagong graduate, we should try out na raw livingtogether if it¹ll work for us.
YUMI Natakot ka sa arrangement?
JIGS Hindi naman sa natakot. If you love someone, anopa¹ng ikakatakot mo, diba?
YUMI E bakit umayaw ka?
JIGS It¹s just that, it¹s not my thing.
YUMI Sabi na nga ba e, bakla ka no? Sinasayang mo angopportunities! (Matatawa)
JIGS Hindi ako oportunista. At lalong hindi ako bakla.
YUMI Fine.
JIGS Naisip ko lang na hindi pa pala ako handa sa mgaganitong bagay. Wala pa saisip ko ang gano¹n. Na-shock siguro ako sa reality naiyon na nga ang next stepsa relationship namin. I mean, two years of beingtogether and knowing eachother, we¹re practically ready to get married, if youknow what I mean. Pero Irealized, I¹m not ready for any of these. Narealize kohow immature I am. Naiba yung ideals ko two years ago sa ideals ko ngayon.I need to mature some moreto get into this thing'I mean, getting married. Diyosko, ilang taon lang baako...
YUMI Maturity has nothing to do with age.
JIGS But it has a lot to do with time.
Tahimik.
JIGS So I thought, bakit kailangan ng practice mode?Ibig sabihin, pag sumablaykami, split na kami? Live like a couple minus thecommitment? Pa¹no pag nawalana yung magic? Goodbye na?
Iinom ng wine si Jigs.
JIGS Kung kasal na, kasal na. Wala nang practice. Ithink that¹s the realcowardice. Yung i-try muna natin kung it will workkasi takot kayo na bakahindi maging successful ang outcome. Saan na napuntaang excitement ng buhay?Kaya nga kayo in-love, para sabay kayong humarap satotoong buhay, sa hirap atginahawa, di ba? (Matatawa) Hindi yung pagpapraktisanmuna ninyo parasiguradong ginhawa lang.
Magkikibit-balikat lang si Jigs.
YUMI Are you always like that?
JIGS Like what?
YUMI So cerebral in everything. Kahit pagdating sarelationships.
JIGS Life is too precious para lang daanin sa trialand error.
Ngingiti si Jigs. Tahimik.
YUMI So, No hard feelings?
JIGS Friends pa rin kami. She still calls me up nga sabahay e.
YUMI That¹s nice.
JIGS Kayo, bakit kayo nagbreak ni Carlo?
YUMI That¹s your sixth na ha?
JIGS Sure.
YUMI Alam mo, ironic para sa akin yung break-up naminni Carlo. And the funnything was, it was about...sex. Uy, sa atin lang itoha?
JIGS Of course.
YUMI Kasi nga, I was looking for that magic nga di ba?I wanted to be in arelationship na special naman. So of all theboyfriends I had, sa kanya langako walang sexual relationship. As in nag-aabstaintalaga ako. Kasi parangnaisip ko, para magkaroon naman ng meaning yung³making love² di ba? Parang,dapat di mo parating ginagawa, at ginagawa mo langwhen you are sincere withyourself and with your partner. So I was investingmuna emotionally. And I wasactually starting to care about him. Yung, hindi ko nainiisip yung sarili ko.Yung siya lang ang inaalala ko. Akala ko perfect na...
JIGS Ano¹ng nangyari?
YUMI Patunayan ko raw na mahal ko siya. Magbigay dawako ng proof. Pagbigyan koraw siya. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi pa ba sapat na proof?yon? Na I¹m savingmyself for that right moment, that special momentbetween us? Alam mo¹ngginawa? Nilayasan ako!
JIGS You deserve someone better.
YUMI Talaga!
YUMI Isipin mo, kung kelan naman I grew tired ofmeaningless sex, when I¹mlooking for the real thing, saka naman mawawala. Angironic ng buhay no?
JIGS That¹s the way we must learn.
YUMI Alam mo, kung tutuusin, never ko pangna-experience yung tunay na magmake-love. And I had to go all through thoserelationships para lang ma-realizeyun. At least, ngayon, alam ko na ang hinahanap ko.
Iinom ng wine.
YUMI Ikaw ba, importante sa¹yo na virgin angmapapangasawa mo? How do you seevirginity ba?
JIGS Alam mo, di ko pa napag-isipan ?yan. Pero nowthat you¹ve mentioned it...Itdoesn¹t matter kung virgin ang mapangasawa ko o hindi.Of course I valuevirginity a lot. I treat it as the only real gift Icould give to my wife to be.Imaginin mo na lang di ba, kung wife ko ang una ko.It¹s like the perfectwedding gift I could give to her. Pero kung siya hindina virgin, I wouldn¹tcare. As long as mahal ko siya. Kasi I don¹t expecther to give me the samegift. I don¹t do something because I expect people todo the same to me. Ibigayniya sa akin ang sarili niya nang buong-buo, sapat nasa akin ?yon. Masaya naako sa ganoon.
YUMI (Mapapangiti si Yumi.) You know, that¹s thenicest thing I ever heard froma guy. That¹s why I always enjoy talking to you. Youalways say the nicestthings.
JIGS Wow. Salamat. E ikaw, is making love to you equalto love?
YUMI I always took sex and love as opposite ideas. Imean, after the first timena...you know...sa Senior prom. Kasi afterwards, webroke up na ni Robert. Taposnaisip ko, yun na ba yung love? Baka hindi love yungnaramdaman ko. Bakanapagkamalan ko lang siyang love. I was just after thepleasure of intimacy. Andthen I felt empty. So empty. That¹s why I wanted tochange. I wanted to believein ³making love.² And I¹m still looking for it. Yungmagic. Yung feeling mo, taoka pala. I never felt that kahit isang beses. Men havepenetrated my body butnever my soul. And I wanted that. I wanted someone totouch my soul. To ³makelove² to my soul through my body. Pero siguro, nagingnumb na¹ko sa dami ngrelasyong pinagdaanan ko. Hindi ko alam kungmararanasan ko pa iyon. That¹s whyI envy you.
Tahimik.
YUMI Sa tingin mo may pag-asa pa ako?
JIGS You still have your soul...(Ngingiti)
Tahimik.
YUMI With whom would you want to experience it?
JIGS Of course, sa asawa ko.
YUMI I mean, someone in particular. Take it as myseventh question. So give aname.
JIGS A name? Hindi ko alam. Basta kung sino angmagiging asawa ko.
Tahimik. Magkikibit-balikat si Yumi. Iinom ng wine.
JIGS Well, I always thought na it was Krissy. Andthen, it was just gone. Ofcourse I loved her. And I still do. Pero the magic wasjust gone after we bothfound out na magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo sa buhay.
Tahimik.
JIGS My turn?
YUMI Shoot me.
JIGS Tell me something...a secret. Yung wala kahitisang nakakaalam.
Matagal na katahimikan.
JIGS You trust me naman di ba?
YUMI Well, you¹ve earned it, alright.
JIGS Saka wala akong tinatago sa¹yo. Sinagot ko lahatng tanong mo as honestlyas I could. (Ngingiti)
YUMI I uhm...
JIGS Yes...?
YUMI I need more wine.
Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.
JIGS Take your time. We have less than fifty hours togo.
Iinom ng wine si Yumi.
YUMI I¹ll tell you something no one in the world knowsexcept one other person.And that person probably forgot all about me already.
JIGS (Pabiro) What? You had sex with a stranger?
YUMI Ano ka ba?
JIGS Biro lang. Seryoso na.
YUMI Promise ha? Hindi ito lalabas.
JIGS Promise.
YUMI If this goes out, I will hunt you kahit salibingan mo. Huhukayin kita atpapatayin kita ulit.
JIGS Mamatay man ako ngayon.
YUMI Okay...(Pause) I...I was with Joel then...(Magiging mas seryoso ang tononiya) ...and Zach. I wasn¹t really with Zach, I wasjust going out with him pagwala si Joel, alam mo na...making out andstuff...Well, anyway, I was kindaserious din naman with Joel that time. Joel and Iwere...you know...doing it.And...
JIGS And...?
YUMI Uhm...I...uhm...I got pregnant.
JIGS What?
Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.
YUMI I uhm...shit. Hindi ko naman talaga ginusto e.Uhm...Two months akongdelayed...then I took that test. I found out na buntisnga ako...and Joel foundout about Zach (maluha-luha na) and I didn¹t know whatto say, you know?Maniniwala ba naman sa akin si Joel na naaliw lang akokay Zach? Na I didn¹treally love him? Na wala lang iyon? And so he broke upwith me and...I..uhm...Iwas afraid and uhm...
(Magsisimula siyang magbreak-down)
JIGS It¹s okay...
YUMI I uhm...hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, Joelleft me. I wanted to tellhim about the baby to make him come back but I don¹tthink he¹d believe meafter the thing with Zach...and...my parents are gonnakill me if...shit.(iiyak)
JIGS (lalapit kay Yumi para i-console ito)Ssshhh...you don¹t have to tell methis if it upsets you...
YUMI And so I went to a clinic...(hahagulgol) I didn¹tmean to, Jiggs. I wasn¹tmyself then. And I felt so afraid. So alone...
JIGS Tahan na. Ssshhh...
Iiyak lang si Yumi kay Jigs. Yayakapin ni Jigs siYumi.
JIGS Alam ba ?to ni Joel?
YUMI How can I tell him? The only other person nanakakaalam ay yung duktor saclinic. God...(iiyak) Oh God...
JIGS It¹s alright...
Hihimasin ni Jigs ang likod ni Yumi. Patatahanin niyaito. Matagal silangnakaganito lang. Matagal na katahimikan.
YUMI Can you get me my yosi?
Tatayo si Jigs. Pupunta sa may side table sa tabi ngkama. Kukunin ang yosi niYumi. Magsisindi siya ng isa at iaabot kay Yumi.
YUMI Thanks...
Matagal na katahimikan.
YUMI If we were...if we were the last two people onearth, would you considerdoing it with me?
JIGS Doing what?
YUMI Alam mo na...
JIGS Alin? (Teasing ngingiti)
YUMI Gago mo. (Ngingiti)
JIGS Ngumiti rin.
YUMI So? Would you?
JIGS Alin nga? Di mo masabi no? Bakit di mo masabi?(Pagtatawanan si Yumi)Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!
YUMI Shut up nga!
JIGS That¹s your eight na, ha?
YUMI I lost count. Answer it.
JIGS Why not?
Hihithit ng yosi si Yumi. Tahimik. Sasandal si Yumi sabalikat ni Jigs.
JIGS If you could be something else, what would yoube?
YUMI I dunno...maybe a violin...yeah. Violin siguro.
JIGS Bakit?
YUMI I always saw the relationship of a violin and itsplayer as very intimate.Pag tumutugtog ang violinist, ang nakikita ko atnaririnig ko, he strokes thesoul of the instrument and the instrument penetratesthe soul of the player.Para silang nagmi-make love. Di ba? Very sexy, veryintimate, very sublime. Diba? Pareho silang sincere sa isa¹t isa. Dahil kunghindi sila sincere, walangmusic na mabubuo. The violin surrenders her body toher player, her whole bodyand her whole soul, in full trust and sincerity. Diba, compared to the soundof the other instruments, ang tunog ng violin parangisang naked woman? A nakedwoman in surrender? I want to be a violin. I want tobe stroked in the soul. Iwant to make sincere music. I want to experience thesound of love.
Tahimik.
JIGS Lalim nun ah. (Ngingiti)
YUMI Pa¹no mo malalamang in-love ka na?
JIGS Paano? I don¹t think there¹s a formula to that.Basta malalaman mo na lang.I mean, ilang beses lang ba nangyari sa akin ?yon? I¹dlike to believe na yun nanga ?yon...yung kay Krissy...
YUMI Kwento mo nga...paano mo narealize dati na mahalmo nga si Krissy?
JIGS Alam mo nakakatawa...korni actually. Babalik nanaman ako sa pagigingkorni nito e. Di ba ayaw mo sa korni.
YUMI Sige na. Hindi na kita aasarin.
JIGS I heard bells.
YUMI Ano?
JIGS Seryoso. Bigla na lang, habang nag-uusap kami,may narinig na lang > akongbells, tapos music. Ewan ko kung iniimagine ko lang?yon pero yun ang nangyari.Nakakatawa nga e. Parang kanta ng Beatles.
YUMI Seryoso ka ba?
JIGS O baka naman nagkataon noong oras na yon, maynagkakantahan sa kung saansa school. Basta may narinig akong bells. Taposnapangiti ako. Pagtingin ko samata niya, iba na ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko na siyanakita as kabarkada lang.Biglang parang may magic. Hindi ko ma-explain. Baduypero ganun. Tapos I justseized the moment. Umamin ako. A week later, kami na.
YUMI Korni nga. (Matatawa)
JIGS Korni talagang pakinggan. Pero pag nandun ka na.Pag naranasan mo na,feeling mo, hindi na korni.
Ngingiti si Yumi. Tahimik.
YUMI Alam mo, may times na parang tunog violin angboses mo. O lasing lang ako?
Tahimik.
JIGS I¹m into my last question.
Iaangat ni Yumi ang ulo niya.
YUMI Shoot me. Better make it good.
JIGS If you were again to be the next victim of thistradition, if you were tobe locked up in this room again...who would you wantthe next guy to be?
YUMI (Mag-iisip) I want someone whom I could talkto... Yung makukwentuhan ko ngmga sikreto ko. Yung may sense makipag-usap. Yung maylaman. The violin playerwho¹d stroke my strings...not even. Yung mapapatunogniya ang strings kowithout even touching them. (Tahimik) Lumuluwag na angdila ko...kung anu-anona ang nasasabi ko. (Ngingiti)
Tititigan lang ni Jigs si Yumi. Tahimik.
YUMI Siyempre yung masarap kausap.
Tahimik. Hindi makatingin si Yumi.
YUMI Yung kahit habambuhay wala kaming gawin kundimag-usap... I think it¹sbetter than making love.
Mapapatingin si Yumi kay Jigs.
YUMI Gosh I want to kiss you so badly.
Matitigilan siya.
YUMI I can¹t believe I just said that.
Tahimik. Titignan niya ulit si Jigs.
YUMI Don¹t you want to kiss me?
Pause. Titignan siya ni Jigs sa mata.
JIGS Is that your last question? (Ngingiti si Jigs)
YUMI Yes.
DILIM.



* Habang binabasa ko ito mula sa email ng kapatid ko isa agad ang nasa isip ko-- ipopost ko ito sa blogs. Hindi ko ilala kung sino si Juan Ekis pero saludo ako sa pagsulat niya nito. Sanay kapulutan ng aral. Naalala ko tuloy ang kantang "Telepono" ng Parokya ni Edgar.

Post Bulletin

Nakainis na nakakatuwa habang sinisearch ko ang mtv video ng papa cologne ay nabiktima ako ng post bulletin sa friendster. Yan talaga ang nagagawa ng procrastination. Ok back to my thesis.

:)

My Right

I have the right to remain silent.






:)

Search for Meaning

Every human being has a drive to search for meaning in life, relationship, experience, career, vocation, faith, society, ethnic identity, among others. Ironically, one of the major problems in the people today, whether in the first world or third world countries, is the feeling of the total and ultimate meaninglessness of their lives. We hear people committing suicide due to terrible pressures and difficult circumstances in life that they could not afford to see the light of a meaningful life. It is sad to hear when people lack the awareness of living worthy and meaningful lives. They seemingly succumbed to emptiness and the void they feel within themselves.

On the other hand, we hear people talking frankly and energetically about their views of life, their feelings, their struggles, their religious beliefs, their psychological uncertainties, politics and morality, and sexual relationships.

Despite economic, religious, and political differences all people are equal as we search for the meaning of life. However, the way people comprehend things in the same circumstances differs from one person to another because each individual is unique. What matters is not the general consensus of the meaning of life but rather the specific response of the person at a given moment. As an individual being, one has his or her own challenge in life, specific problem to solve, and unique question of meaning. Because each person is unique, we lay a template of meaning upon a particular object different from others. Everyone has his or her own demands for fulfillment inasmuch as every person has his own vocation or mission in life. But then again, we are equal in terms of orienting ourselves (or struggling) with the meaning of the mystery of our human existence.

To understand the meaning of life requires us to have a sense of true self-knowledge. Awareness of our being – to know who we are – expresses more concretely what make us different from other beings in the world. The existentialist answer to this question directs us to understand our existence in the sense of “standing out” in the world.[1] Our mode of existence compared with beings like cats, trees, and rocks, is completely different in the sense that we alone are open and aware of our being, in some degree, we alone know what we are.[2] We “stand out” in the world because of our intellect, freedom, and responsibility. As one existentialist says, “existentialism’s first move is to make every man aware of what he is and to make the full responsibility of his existence rest on him.”[3]

Lastly, our search for the meaning of life oftentimes is posed to us even more intensely when we experience love and happiness, and suffering and death. Love and happiness bring us such delight as we experience them with a person we love, in a good deed and in service of others, in sport and play, in art and science.[4] Another meaning of existentialism confronts us with an inescapable and unavoidable situation of suffering and death. They may appear in the face of incurable disease like cancer or being disabled, death of a loved one, or awareness of our own imminent death. Like happiness and love, the experience of suffering and death make clear to us that the meaning of life will remain a big question and deep mystery to understand.

To conclude, our human limitations tell us of our incapacity to achieve the fullness of knowledge and answer the enigma of human existence. Our inadequacies lead us to grasp something beyond our human understanding which leads us toward the attitude of faith. So as we become more aware of our ‘unworthiness,’ our search for truth goes to a higher level that is beyond the empirical world we know, to the questions of ultimate causes – the search for God.

[1] John Macquarrie, Principles of Christian Theology, (London: SCM Press Ltd., 1982) 60.
[2] ibid.
[3] Jean-Paul Sarte, Existentialism and Human Emotions, (New York: Philosophical Library, Inc. 1957) 16.
[4] Cf. German Bishop’s Conference, The Church’s Confession of Faith, (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1987) 16.

Sikat II

Nasa dyaryo daw ako ngayon pero di ko pa nakikita. Pag-medyo ok looks ko siguradong ipopost ko dito.


:)

Pag-sunod

Nag-iwan ng message sa yahoo messenger ang kaklase ko dati sa seminaryo. Pagkagraduate namin ng Philosophy ay sabay kaming lumabas. Dalawang taon ako sa labas bago ako bumalik muli-- kahit di karapatdapat ay nagbakasakali ako kung may bokasyon nga talaga. Nanatili siya sa labas: ikapitong taon na niya ito ngayon.

Kahapon dumating ang inaasahan kong balita-- ang pagbabalik niya sa loob -- pero nakakagulat pa din. Naramdaman daw niya na tinatawag siya na maging pari. Bakit sa kabila ng may maganda siyang gf at magandang business?

Kahahangang-hangang pag-tataya.

Mabuhay ka kaibigan.

Huwag kang mag-alala di ka NIYA pababayaan.

TO KNOW ONE'S VOCATION
Lord, my God and my loving Father,

you have made me to know you, to love you,

to serve you,

and thereby to find and to fulfill myself.

I know that you are in all things,

and that every path can lead me to you.

But of them all,

there is one especially by which you want me to come to you.

Since I will do what you want of me,

I pray you, send your Holy Spirit to me:

into my mind, to show me what you want of me;

into my heart, to give me the determination to do it,

and to do it with all my love, with all my mind,

and with all my strength right to the end.

more prayers

Sikat

Nakaraang gabi, tinawagan ng kaibigan ko (gamit ang pay phone) si Jim Paredes ng APO para sa isang "secret business." Nasa tabi lang nya ako bilang moral support. May mas mahalaga pala akong ginampanan nang mauubos na ng credit niya ay dali-dali akong naghulog ng $2 coin.

Kagabi nagtext ang kaibigan ko sabi niya nagkausap uli sila ni Jim. Sabi ko, feeling ko close na rin kami.

****

Kamakailan naman daw ay na-tv sa channel 7 sa programa ni Jessica Soho ang kapatid ng ina kong doctor- Aquilino Esguerra. Isa siyang gynecologist, pero ang interview daw ata sa kanya ay tungkol sa hypnoticsm. Sandali lang daw ang interview pero feeling sikat na ako--kahit di kami close.

Galing!

Kanina pa ako tawa ng tawa ng maligaw ako sa blogs na ito; parang yung bunsong kapatid ko pag nagkwento "parang nakapapak ng enervon." Hypher pero cute. D' best ang mga kabataan ngayon pa blog-blogs na lang. Nung panahon namin tv lang ang pinagkakaabalahan wala pang cellphone nun at internet. Hindi tuloy kami napupuyat, tulad ko ngayon.

Field Trip Reflection

Kaugnay sa tripping naming sa sementeryo isinulat ko ito kagabi.

To have a deeper understanding of eschatology we cannot ignore the reality of our ‘individual eschatology’ that is the death of every human being, our loved ones, our friends and including our own deaths. In our modern and secular society, people often avoid thinking death seriously because death is always associated with pain, distortion of our dreams and goals in life. We live in a society where the fulfillment of our modern life is measured by what we have: money, beauty, youthfulness, power, popularity, fast cars, etc. As a consequence of our ‘culture of having’ society we sometimes exaggerate death to such extent that it becomes an object of fear and dread. In perspective, a ‘culture of having’ or ‘death denying’ culture is somehow equal to a ‘life denying’ culture for both ignore the possibility of the self’s relation to God.

Death is always associated with permanent separation that we dare not hope to happen between ourselves and our loved ones. This is certainly explains what St. Paul calls “the sting of death.”[1] But no matter how hard we try to avoid the thought of death we are aware that sooner or later each of us will encounter death. Because death is the final universal phenomenon: no matter how wealthy, influential, powerful, beautiful, healthy and holy we are, we all must die. However, others welcome the coming of death peacefully as death can end up people’s intense suffering in the world.[2] Still, others see death as something that denies our opportunity for further accomplishment in life and which terminates the only life we know.[3] Death in our general understanding, affects not just the physical body rather the whole reality of the person, body and soul. Death is more than a clinical or biological annihilation of the human being; it comprises the individuality of the human person as both physical and spiritual being.

Nonetheless, death is always a mystery and can be the most anguishing question we can encounter: “It is in the face of death that the riddle of human existence becomes most acute.”[4] Death according to Christian faith is not only mysterious but it has a far deepest meaning as well especially in our journey of life on earth with God, and with one another. The mystery of death makes us aware of our human fragility and weakness before our God. The mystery of death makes us aware that without God we are unable to prolong our lives forever. For it is only by having this attitude of humility that one will come to accept the awesome, transcendent and unknown dimension of death.[5] Moreover, humility raises the question of the mystery of God: “God’s creativity, silence, otherness and transcendence.”[6]

We find in the Bible the description of death as the consequence of sin,[7] and as the result of humanity’s rejection to the love of God.[8] Death is not the end of everything for we human beings are “created by God for a happy goal beyond the reach of the miseries of this earthly life.”[9] In a word, the mystery of death radically opens up the existence of something that is beyond our human understanding; it is in and through death that we can enter into the Kingdom of God and live eternally. So we can only make sense of death according to our faith in Jesus Christ who gained victory over death and rose again to life.[10] Therefore, dying with Christ in the hope of resurrection, “means to surrender one’s life, with all its accomplishments and failures, dreams and disappointments, into the hands of God, who alone, can raise it up into everlasting fullness.”[11] And, thus, although death may appear mysterious as it is, in light of Christian faith, death is a free gift which offers us the possibility of being united with Triune God and with our loved ones who have already died, and have already attained to true life with God.[12]


[1] 1 Cor 15:56
[2]Otto Hentz S.J., The Hope of the Christian, (Minnesota: The Liturgical Press, 1997) 49.
[3] ibid. Otto
[4] GS 18
[5] Dermot A. Lane Keeping Hope Alive: Stirring in Christian Theology, (Dublin: Gill & Macmillan, 1996) 54.
[6] ibid. Lane 54
[7] St. Paul states several times that death is a result of sin. In his letter to the Romans he writes, “Therefore as sin came into the world through one man and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all men sinned” (Rom 6:23).
[8] cf. Wisdom 1:13; 2:24
[9] Gaudium et Spes 18
[10] Cf. 1 Cor 15:56 f
[11] Sachs p. 80.
[12] Gaudium et Spes 18.

Field Trip

Dear Diary,

Nagfield trip kami kahapon ng mga kaklase ko. Naalala ko tuloy dati tuwing may field kami nung elementary (at highschool) kailangan kong magpapaalam syempre sa aking ama at ina. Hindi lang nila ako pinayagan ay sa jamboree ng boy scout. Ang pinaka-enjoy ng field ko ay nuong grade 6 ako. Masayang nakakahiya dahil kinandong pa ata ako ng crush ko sa bus. At ang matindi bago umandar ang bus ay dumating ang ama ko na may dalang bonamine tablet para sa akin (sukahin kasi ako dati sa bus, sa dyip at sa ferris wheel). Sinabihan pa niya ang crush ko na mag-ingat at baka sukahan ko siya.

Feeling ko bigla akong naging tao nang makapasok ako sa Malacanang palace, Ayala museum at kung saan saan pa. Since grade six gusto kong bumalik sa Malacanang memorable kasi sa akin iyon

Ang pinuntahan nga pala namin kahapon, bago ko makalimutan ay kakaiba sa field trip namin kumpara sa nung elementary ako. Nagtungo kami sa Bunurong Memorial Cemetery para maging pamilyar kami sa lugar "ma-at home" at magkaroon ideya sa aming hinaharap na gampanin. Ilang panahon na lang kasi ay madadalas kaming magkakaklase sa sementeryo para maglibing ng patay!

Malawak ang sementeyo na ito at napakamoderno. Iba ang pakiramdam kapag may nababasa ako sa lapida na kasing edad ko o mas bata sa akin. May mga pictures din sa lapida at iba magaganda pa. Saan na kaya sila. Tanong ko sa sarili ko.

Pero ang mas astig ay sa crematorium pinanuod namin kung paano ipinasok ang kabaong sa isang malaking oven. Kasama pala ang ataul sa cremation kaya ko bangkay lang. Pero pagkatapos ng icremate ang bangkay plus ataul ang natitira lang ay ang buto lang tao. Totoo pala ang kasabihang, "matigas ang buto." Kukunin ang naiwan buto at ilalagay sa isang parang maliit ng oven (bone crusher o bone reducer) para sa final processing. At presto tapos na ang cremation. Sarap kumain ng pizza pagkatapos.

Ipinakita din sa amin ang mga prothetics na hindi natunaw- turnilyo, pacemaker, knee cup at ibang pang metal na kinakabit sa pag-balian ka ng buto (naghahanap ako ng gintong ngipin pero wala akong nakita).

Marami pa akong kwento pero mag-aalas dose na ng hating-gabi....at medyo gumiginaw!

Ama

Happy Fathers' day to our fathers.

The following article is written by Patricia Evangelista. She talks about the greatness and simplicity of our fathers that we oftentimes take for granted.

********
MY father has learned how to write and send a text message with one hand. In college, after he told me he’d pass by me on the way home, I sent him a message that I was ready for pickup. He replied, in the space of two seconds.

“Yep-andito na me.”

When I was a kid, I was the classic nerd: hair in pigtails, glasses inches thick, unable to conduct a conversation that didn’t revolve around Archie comics or Nancy Drew. My Dad was my best friend. On the mornings before school, we’d be sitting on the living room table, him with his newspaper and a tiny plastic teacup in his hand, pinkie finger outstretched.

“More tea?” I’d ask politely.

He would nod, and I would pour him a cup of Kool-Aid grape juice.

read the whole article

*******

Jesus My Lord, My God, My All

Today is the feast day of the Body and Blood of Jesus also known as Corpus Christi Sunday. This song is an old traditional Catholic hym which expresses deepest sentiments, love, reverence and devotion to the Body of Christ really present in the most Blessed Sacrament.


Jesus, my Lord, my God, my all!
How can I love Thee as I ought?
And how revere this wondrous gift,
So far surpassing hope or thought?

Sweet Sacrament, we Thee adore!
Oh, make us love Thee more and more.
Oh, make us love Thee more and more.

Had I but Mary's sinless heart
With which to love Thee, dearest King,
Oh, with what ever fervent praise,
Thy goodness, Jesus, would I sing!

Thy Body, Soul and Godhead, all!
O mystery of love divine!
I cannot compass all I have,
For all Thou hast and art is mine!

Sound, then, His praises higher still,
And come, ye angels, to our aid;
For this is God, the very God
Who hath both men and angels made!

Ok Fine

Totoo pala ang kumakalat na warning na hinuhuli ng Victoria Police ang mga cute sa Melbourne! At ako ang unang biktima. Sa unang pag-kakataon, in 21 years (plus 7) of my life- naks- ay naranasan ko din na maging center of attraction sa kalye. Kaya lang dahil sa isang traffic violation. Kakaiba pala ang pakiramdam kapag ginilidan ka ng police car na umiilaw-ilaw pa para pahintuin.
.

Nung isang gabi lang kausap ko ang isang kaibigan ko na may "connection" sa isang general sa Malacanang. Dalawang beses na daw siyang nahuli ng traffic enforcers sa Metro Manila pero dahil sa kanyang "connection" lagi siyang napapalusot. Galing!

Dahil sa kaba, ngayon ko lang naalala ang mga gusto kong sabihin sa pulis na humuli sa akin:

1. Best friend ko nung elementary ang anak ng vice-mayor ng Pulilan.
2. Kamag-anak namin ang dating governor ng Bulacan.
3. Nabigyan ko ng recollection ang klase ng anak ng governor ngayon ng Bulacan.
4. Dating PNP at black belter sa Aikido ang Ama ko.
5. Assistant Medic Officer ako sa CMT nung highschool.
6. At may kaibigan akong may kaibigan na general sa Malacanang.

Kaya lang late na. Pero di ko din masasabi iyon dahil hindi ko makakalimutan ang famous statement ni dating Pangulong Erap Estrada (na kaagad niyang kinontradict) sa kanyang inaugural speech: "walang kaibi-kaibigan, walang kama-kamaganak..."

Moral lesson: Ok fine. Mag-bayad ng fine.

Are You Single?*

Mula sa e-mail ng isang special friend:)


Naranasan mo na bang mahiwalay sa iyong mahal na kasama mo sa loob ng maraming taon? Sa taong inakala mo na makakasama mo na sa iyong buhay? Sa taong akala mo na pagmatanda kana ay nandiyan pa rin sa tabi mo? Mahirap ang mawalan ng kasintahan, maging ano mang paraan yan mahirap pa rin. Ilang taon kayo na nagpaikot-ikot sa mundo ng bawat isa. Nakilala mo na kanyang mga kaibigan, kamag-anak, kaibigan ng kamag-anak, kaaway ng kaibigan at siyempre ang kanyang pamilya. Tinuring mo na rin na sarili mong mga magulang ang magulang niya, at ganun din naman sya. Pinag-tiisan mo na ang kakulitan ng mga pamangkin nya na sa tuwing dadalaw ka eh ihahampas sa iyo ang hawak niya o di kaya naman ay sasabunutan ka. Pati nga ang mga alaga nilang pets ay close mo na.Ang mga officemates ninyo ay magkakakilala na rin. Magkaka YM, MSN or Friendster dahil friendly friends na rin. Eto pa ang matindi. Friends mo ang ex-girlfriends nya.

Kung ikaw ay nasa opisina. Hindi ka makapag trabaho, dahil nakikita mo sa monitor ng computer mo ang mukha nya. Pakiramdam mo ay nakikita mo nanaman ang inyong maliligayang araw. At tuwing pupunta sa rest room, haharap ka sa salamin, kakausapin mo sarili mo, pagmamasdan at tatanung kung ano pa ba ang kulang sa iyo at nagawa ka niyang ipagpalit sa iba. Nangingilid pa ang mga luha sa mata mo, mamumula ngayon ang ilong mo at di mo alam papaano babalik sa loob ng opisina dahil baka may makakita sa mga officemates mo. Lumilipad din ang isip mo pag nasa meetings ka. Isa pa, habang naglalakad ka, naaasiwa ka dahil wala ka ng kasamang naglalakad sa tabi mo na dati eh pa sway-sway pa ang inyong magkahawak na kamay. Feeling mo pa kawawa ka dahil walang nagbubuhat ng iyong mga gamit mo na mabibigat. Wala na ring humaharang sa tawiran parang siya ang magpasaga sa rumaragasang bus. Wala na ring sumusundo sa iyo pagkagaling sa opisina para mag diiner at mag movie. Wala ng babati ng “happy monthsary sweetie, I love you” Hindi ka rin makakain, makatulog, may taghiyawat ka pa sa noo dahil sa puyat. Pero ang 3 huling senyales na ito ay medyo lumang tugtugin na, kaya sana mag-isip ka ng ibang diskarte, yung kakaiba. Eto pa, pagdating mo sa bahay, uupo ka pa sa may tabi ng land line o pasulyap-sulyap sa mobile phone; titingin tingin at iniisip na pag nag ring ay ito ang iyong ex-boyfriend na nakikipag balikan sa iyo. Ang malala eh na feel mo na ba yung akala mo na ok kana pero bitter-bitteran ka pa pala? Naku, mahirap talaga yan. Pero importante ay harapin mo tunay na nararamdaman, pero sana naman ay bigyan mo ng katapusan. Huwag naman sana 3 taon ha. Hindi magandang idea na ilublob ang sarili sa mapait na sinapit, baka di kayanin ng vitamins ang drama mo.

Girl, tama na ang ganiyang sentimyento, medyo nakakaubos yan enerhiya eh. Simple lang, pag iniwan ka ng boyfriend mo, aba magpaganda ka, mag-isip ng mga makabuluhang bagay na dapat mong gawin. Aminin mo na kayo ay nag ikutan ng mundo dati; hindi na nga kayo lumalabas kasama ng mga kaibigan nyo. Tinigil mo na ang mga dati ninyo na ginagawan nung hindi pa kayo. Wala na kayong nakikita kung hindi ang bawat isa. Para bang bawat araw eh lumulutang sa alapaap sa kaligayahan. Naiisip na ito na nga ang lalaking pag aalayan ng iyong buhay. Pero teka, gising muna tayo ulit ha. Tulad ng sinasabi ko kanina, gumawa ng makabuluhang bagay. Mag-aral ng bagay na interesado ka at sa tingin mo ay magiging mabunga ka. Tawagan ang mga kaibigan na halos kinalimutan mo na. Makipagkuwentuhan sa pamilya mo at mag libre pag kumain kayo sa labas. Maging volunteer sa isang organization na may magandang layunin. O eh di ngayon, naiisip mo na madami ka pala dapat gawin. At dahil nakakarecover kana unti-unti, mas maganda na samahan mo ng pagpapatawad sa kanya. Kalimutan na ang mga masasakit at mapapait na palitan ng salita ninyo nung araw na naghiwalay kayo, magpapabigat ng dibdib mo yan sa tuwing ito ay aalalahanin mo pa. Isipin mo nalang na ikaw ay pinapatawad din ng Diyos sa iyong pagkakamali. Isipin mo na hindi kayo ang God’s will. Pero, patawarin din ang sarli ha, mahalag ito. Isipin mo na maraming nag mamahal sa iyo. Huwag kang selfish, move on! J

Teka, for the next step, ang isa sa mahirap sa lahat eh, paano mo sasabihin sa pamilya, kamag-anak at mga kaibigan na kayo ng break na. Diba nga, friendly friends na kayo. Naku, idolo pa naman nila kayo dahil kayo daw ay almost perfect (hehehe) May mga fans nga kayo kaya puwede kayong love team. Ayan siyempre, hindi mo puwedeng pagtagalin eh. Mahahalata lalu na ng mommy mo na malungkot ka. Ang boyfriend mo na lagging nandiyan ay nawawala na. Mag-iisip ka pa ng dahilan, kesyo busy, na assign sa project, may sakit at etc. Basta, iba-ibang version every weekend. Pero mukhang unti-unti kanang nagkakalakas ng loob gusto mo ng magtapat ng tunay na nangyari. Ang problema eh ayun tiyak magigiing affected sila syempre, dahil napamahal na sila sa ex-boyfriend mo. Akala nga nila, siya na mamanugangin nila. Normal lang yan, mauunawan din nila. Siyempre masakit iyon para sa kanila. Kaya pakita mo na okay na okay ka naman at wala silang dapat intindihin. (teka wag kang magpapanggap, dapat makumbinsi mo muna sarili mo kaya mo na nga magpakatatag)

Ngayon, ang haharapin mo naman ay ang iyong mga manliligaw. Ayan, dahil sa mundong ng Friendster, makikita na ng mga may HD sa iyo (hidden desire) na ikaw ay “Single” ang status. Ayan na, iisa-isa na silang nagpaparamdam. Simula sa may crush sa iyon nung elementary, hanggang sa nag papacute sa iyo nung highschool at dating manliligaw nung college. Mga kaibigan na nagtatapat ng damdamin. Mga nirereto ng mga kaibigan mo. Biglang may magtetext pa sa iyong ng “can you be my textmate” May manliligaw na makulit, yung halos araw-araw ba eh gusto eh magkita kayo. Mayroon naming, nakaka-bored, yung wala kayong mapag-usapan. Meron naming malakas ang dating. Feeling niya na siya na magiging next boyfriend mo. May torpe, ayaw umamin, puro pasaring lang. Meron din naman na iyong nagugustuhan na at gusto ka rin, pero ayaw ninyong umamin. Well syempre, medyo extra careful kana kasi sa pamimili. Ayam mo ng magkamali, sabi nga. Kaya ipagdasal mo na this time ang God’s will. Kung wala namang manliligaw, okay pa rin, just take your time. Huwag magmadali, darating ang tamang panahon.

Hay nako, masaya ang buhay ng isang single. Exciting dahil alam mo na nandiyan lang sya sa tabi-tabi at hinihintay ang tamang panahon na kayo ay pagtagpuin ng Diyos. O sya, alam mo na gagawin mo ha kung ikaw ay isang CSWU (Certified Single Woman & Un-attached)

*written by Pinky Marie (posted with permission)

World Cup 06 (update)

Ang oras ay 1:08am. Ang galing talaga ng Socceroos!!! Natalo ang Japan sa score na 3-1. Imagine kala namin matatalo ang Aussie team pero in four minutes nakapasok ng dalawang sunod na goals si Tim Cahill. Gusto ko naman talaga Australia ang manalo e. Yung Mitsubishi pen ko nung highschool pag nabagsak hindi na sumusulat saka light ang pagkaitim ng black ink; yung Hitachi tv namin dati mahinang sumagap ng channel 'yon at lagi pang umaakyat ang ama ko sa bubong para iadjust ang antenna; siyempre naman mas safe sumakay sa dyip kaysa sa trycicle at mas mura pa; yung laruan kong Voltes Five nginatngat na ng aso yun; siguro naman matanda na si Kimberly ngayon grade 5 lang ata nung kasikatan ng Bioman. Galing galing talaga ng Australia. Better luck next time Japan. Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!!! Ingat sa adik.

World Cup 06

Ang oras 11:03 pm. Naglalaban na ngayon live sa Germany ang Australian Soccer Team (Socceroos) at Japan (the best of Asia). Aakyat na ako at manunuod sa aming recreation room. Siguradong ako lang ang boto sa Japan kaya medyo silent mode lang ako. Magaling ang Japan dahil paborito kong ballpen nung highschool ay Mitsubishi, ang una naming tv ay Hitachi black & white, mas gustong kong sumakay sa Kawasaki kaysa sa dyip, may laruan akong Votes-Five, crush ko si Kimberly (Pink 5) sa Bioman. Happy Independence Day Pilipinas. Adik ako.

I Hear My Name*

Di ko na mabilang kung ilang ang nagtanong sa akin kung bakit gusto kong magpari. Di ko na rin mabilang kung paano ako nahirapang sagutin sila. Siguro sa pamamagitan ng kantang ito ay maituturo kahit paano ang misteryosong hamon sa tawag ng bokasyon.

Lord, I walked one cold night,
and heard the wind call my name.
I closed my ears still I heard the call
of the wind from within.

Lord, I’m weak and small.
What can I do for You, my Lord?

I fear to be called,
to behold Jerusalem awaiting me.

Lord, I heard my name,
and in shame I turned away.

But I felt so cold to be far from my Lord,
to be far from you, my Lord.

Lord, I hear my name.
Now I go before You, my Lord.

If it is Your will, let it be, let it be.
Let it be what You will.

Let me do Your will.

Let me do Your will.

----

* Words by Fr. Manoling Francisco S.J.

Maraming salamat sa mga kaibigan kong masayang nagsiganap.

A Spirituality of Choice at the Level of Faith

It’s always pleasing to remember how my mother buys me things like hankies, shorts, jocks, socks and so forth. Now being far away from my loving mother, I have to buy myself those things and my other needs. Honestly I find shopping not only a financial burden but also I hate the hassle of spending significant time choosing and doubting what kind of stuff I really want to get. Maybe I am not just confident enough making my own decision as I often feel unsure about things I buy such as t-shirts, shoes, etc (I’m always unsure whether they suit me alright or not). However, if in the end I realised I got what I really wanted (after a long deliberation!) I would feel greatly rewarded for making such a good effort and wise decision.

Discernment is process of deliberation, weighing up things, choosing, selecting, etc. In spirituality, discernment simply means doing the will of God at the present moment. Discernment is that which St. Ignatius of Loyola focused his profound spirituality. After he was seriously wounded in a battle he spent the rest of his life seeking the divine will of God; he traveled places for retreats, he recorded his experiences—including his battle against the devil and he drafted his own spiritual retreat which is known as “The 30 Day Retreat.” His life was a pilgrimage in a labyrinth of seeking God’s will.

St. Ignatius’ advice is that every time we make important decisions we must first of all consult our consciences, take some time in prayers, and when necessary we have to delay our decisions. More importantly, according to him we must be vigilant and reflective about the presence of the ‘good and evil spirits’ in our everyday decision-making. Before it’s too late, we better start looking for the tail of the enemy hiding somewhere so we can avoid its trap. We need to defeat our enemy who exists only to oppose even the tiniest decisions we make everyday according to the will of God. As St. Ignatius has seen it, the devil “adopts new and subtler tactics in his effort to subvert the divine will in our lives.”

We want to be treated maturely di ba? We don’t want to hear litany of lectures telling us what to do and what not to do. Some people just hate it. What we want is freedom and autonomy so that we can show the world that we can take charge of ourselves alone—we can do what we want! We don’t want to be spoon-fed nor receive explicit instructions for every situation.

In fact, only if we realise how God wants to treat us as mature adults – he gave us freedom. Because he loves us he doesn’t want to deprive us the basic freedom which is a requirement of what true love is. Therefore, we must understand that God wants us to be responsible with our actions and every little decision we make, but most especially when it comes to moral decisions.

But for me, true freedom means capability to choose only what is good. True freedom only makes sense when one has the ability to recognize and reject whatever is evil. Freedom doesn’t mean we can perform anything we want to do even it may harm to us or our neighbors. That’s why personally, if will be given a choice, I’d prefer to be that little boy whom my mother would buy things he needs. I know it’s immature, but at least I am confident and because I trust wholeheartedly my mother. I know that whatever things she gives me would always be for my benefit and an expression of her love. I would be happily contented to be such a passive recipient of her maternal care and love. There’s no need to worry about making wrong decisions. She is there for me.

Ah, my Lord, how I long to surrender my entire freedom to you – if you can take away my liberty please do so – so that I can please you alone because you so good to me. Take everything I own and everything I hope for. There are many things I want that I know you will not approve so I would like to give you my choice, my desire, my personal happiness, my longing, even my weakness – I am yours. I’d like to imitate your total self-dedication to will of your Father.

As I battle against my own self and the temptations of the world, and help me, help us all your children, help us to choose only what is according to your divine Will. Amen.

5:18 pm
Baillieu Library
Melbourne University

MYMP

Matapos bigyan ng karangalan ang Pilipinas sa matagumpay na pag-akyat ni Leo Oracion at mga kasama sa Mt. Everest – ang pinakamataas sa buong mundo – ay muli nating ipinaalam sa buong mundo na tayong mga Pilipino ay di basta-basta. Ang galing talaga natin!

Pero hindi naman talaga kailangang gumawa ng malalaking bagay para tayo maging dakila at sumikat sa mata ng ibang tao. Ngunit nakakabuti din naman na ipaalam sa madla ang galing nating mga Pinoy. Hindi dahil sa gusto nating sumikat ngunit alang-alang sa ating sa sarili – upang mas mahalin at ipagmalaki natin ang bawat isa at ang ating mga sarili bilang lahing Pilipino. Siguro kaya mahilig tayo sa mga bagay na ‘imported’ ay dahil kulang tayo sa pag-papahalaga at pagmamahal sa kung sino tayo, ano ang kaya nating gawin at kung anong meron tayo.

Di maikakaila na maraming Pilipino mula sa iba’t-ibang larangan ang hinahangaan sa iba’t-ibang bansa. Marami man sa kanila ay ‘di nadadaanan ng camera o nalalathala sa diyaryo. Gayupaman ikinararangal tayo ng ibang lahi dahil sa kakaiba nating karisma o dating na wala sa iba:

Tulad na lang ng kaibigan ko na kinagigiliwan ng kanyang mga co-workers dahil sa kanyang magaling na pakikisama, masayang pag-aasikaso sa panauhin (sa isang international hotel and appartment services siya) at ang kanyang matamis na ngiting makikita lamang sa isang Pilipina.

Mula po sa bayan ng Baliuag, Bulacan….

Tulad na lang din ng isa pang kaibigan ko na nalathala ang kanyang larawan sa information magazine ng Faculty of Education ng Monash University dito sa Melbourne. Hindi ba’t mahalaga sa ating mga Pilipino ang edukasyon? Para sa akin ay ini-represent niya ang “Pinoy values” na nag-nanais magkamit ng antas at yaman ng edukasyon.

Mula po sa lungsod ng Kamuning, Quezon City…


At siyempre, di papatalo ang isang astig na ito. Kakaiba talaga ang Pinoy pagdating sa pagpupunyagi – ano mang hirap ang daanan – gusto nating magtagumpay lalo na kapag “habulang sako” ang labanan. Sige talon pa Pinoy, talon!

Mula po sa bayan ng Pulilan, Bulacan…

Make Your Momma Proud! Para sa Inang Bayan.

(Mga nag-siganap Rocel, Patricia at Joel)

wondering

'musta na kaya siya? It's her birthday today...

Wedding no. 4

HOMILY

Resurrection Parish, St. Albans

May 21, 2006

Mayap agatpanapun pu keko ngan.
Masaya ku ngening aldong ayni at parte ku king selebrasyon ning sakramentu ning kasal ng Mark at Rachel.

****

Well, Mark and Rachel, this is it, wala ng atrasan to the day of your marriage has now finally arrived.

Looking at you now, I can see in your eyes joy and excitement; I can see how grateful both of you are today with all the support you’ve been receiving from your families, friends and loved ones. Looking at you now, Rachel and Mark, I can see two brave young adults who have come before us today in this church.

My dear friends, I said Mark and Rachel are brave simply because they want to get married. Marriage is not that simple. Those of you, who are married can tell us why married life not simple. You know better than us the different challenges of marriage, of building a family, of raising kids, and so forth.

Mark and Rachel, I say you are brave most especially because Christian marriage takes a lot of courage to undertake. Today, you are committing your whole life to each other as long as you both live. I think, I said to you a hundred times already that marriage is a lifetime commitment. I am not trying to scare you, but this is what God wants your marriage (all marriage) to be. Marriage is valid not only for a week or two; neither a year nor ten years; but marriage is permanent, it lasts forever! I’m saying this because Jesus himself tells us in the Gospel today the sacredness of marriage -- “what God has united, man must not divide.”

We heard from the first reading from the book of Genesis, Allen read for us the beautiful story of the creation of our first parents: God took a bone from man’s side, close to his heart to show the tender love man and woman can share. So in marriage… a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body. Later on as we continue on this wedding service God will bless Mark and Rachel no longer as two “one body.”

In Tagalog, “Hindi na kayo dalawa kundi magiging-iisa na.” Sometimes we call “spouse” kabiyak in Tagalog or “my other half” in English. So, you are now going to face the world and raise a family as one in love, hope and dream. Inasmuch as you both will share the joy of this wonderful vocation of marriage, you will also equally share the burdens and trials of married life.

Your friend, Leonor read some elements of Christian marriage from the letter of St. Peter. Leonor read for us some advices which would help in building up a happy marriage. I will pick only one of those advices: “Never pay back one wrong with another one; instead pay back with a blessing.” In Tagalog huwag mong gantihan ng masama ang pagkakamali sa halip ay gantihan ninyo ito ng kabutihan. You have to master the art of patience with one another. You return only what will be good for the other. When you make a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness.

Mark, Rachel is a beautiful young woman but she is not perfect as no one is perfect. She may not be the best navigator in the world but she will do her best for you. Rachel, your groom may give you the most beautiful smile in the world, but like you, he is also not perfect. Mark may not be the best driver in the world but he will do his best to drive you safe back home.

You may be wondering why I said Rachel and Mark are not the best navigator and driver in the world? Let me tell you…

Last year, when Mark and Rachel told me that they wanted me to officiate their wedding, I asked them to come and see me at the parish for an interview. I was then staying at the parish in Meadows Heights; it’s around ten-minute drive from the airport. So we arranged the date November 25, 4 pm (I was actually excited to see them). So the said date came, which was Friday, I waited and waited, and they finally arrived around 6:30pm! They came late not because they Filipinos but they drove all their way Geelong!

The moral lesson is: they didn’t give up until they reached their destination.

So this is my personal advice to you, Mark and Rachel, please do not give up when the difficulties of marriage begin to test you. Remember that you are not alone, regardless of whatever challenges arise Jesus will be there with you. In fact, Jesus is here with you today blessing your marriage. Pray a lot and pray together. Ask him now to seal and strengthen your love and to make it grow, now and for all eternity. I invite everyone here to pray for Mark and Rachel. And let us always be reminded of the words of Jesus, What God joins together let none of us put asunder -- ever. Amen!

****

Salamat pu keko ngan.

Viajera

Dalawang libro ang kasalukuyan kong binabasa sa ngayon. Una ay Viajero na isinulat ni F.Sionil Jose. Talagang saludo ako sa kalidad, talas at liksi (kung tamang salita ito ) ng pagsulat ni F.Sionil Jose--parang nasaloob ako mismo ng kanyang nobela. Sa pinagsama-samang titik, salita at pangungusap ay kaya niyang dalhin hindi lang ang imahinasyon kundi pati ang damdamin at pagkatao ng mambabasa.

Kahit na sinisimulan ko palang basahin ang Viajero ay inirerekomenda ko na ito sa bawat Pilipino o sa may nais makilala kung ano at paano maging Pilipino.

****

Kasabay ng Viajero ay binasa ko din ang librong kapapublish lamang ngayon buwan na ito. Ang pamagat nito ay "For a House Made of Stone" na isinulat ni Gina French. Hindi batikang manunulat si Gina kumpara kay dakilang F.Sionil Jose. Bagamat isinasalamin ni Gina ang milyon-milyong Filipino na nagtataya at nagbabiyahe -- sa Pinas o sa buong panig ng daigdig -- araw-araw upang makamit ang maginhawang pamumuhay.

Tubong Sorsogon si Gina at dahil sa kahirapan ay nagtrabaho sa Maynila bilang bar dancer at prostitute. Nakakabagabag ang bawat pahina ng istorya ni Gina -- kwento ng pagpupunyagi, kahirapan, pagmamahal ng isang ina sa anak, pag-asa at paghahanap ng kaligayahan. Tahasan niyang isinulat ang kanyang buhay na naglalarawan o kung hindi man ay nagpapahiwatig sa milyon-milyong "Viajerong" Filipino.

***

Discription na nakasaad sa likod ng librong "For a House Made of Stone"

"....Gina's dream takes her from her birthplace in the Philippine mountains, via the bars and dance halls of Manila, to the jetset worlds of New York and Brunei. Gina's life changes dramatically and forever when she falls in love with a wealthy Englishman who persuades her to marry him and bear his son. All at once she finds herself stranded in the cold and hostile world of the north of England, trapped with a man who seems more and more determined to hurt her and her child. Driven close to madness by her husband's violent attacks, Gina stabs him. Suddenly she finds herself facing a murder charge in a foreign land . . ."

The Da Vinci Code

Have you seen the movie?

If well guided this controversial movie can be an opportunity for us to show the true face of the Church. And we can effectively come out into the open proclamation of salvation in Jesus Christ, who is true God and true man.


HANDLING QUESTIONS PEOPLE MAY ASK ABOUT THE DA VINCI CODE

A PASTORAL STATEMENT OF THE CBCP ON THE DA VINCI CODE

Or you may also read this informative article.

:)

Gratitude

Thank you O Lord for making me an intrument to spread your blessing...

Vocation Crisis 101

"Vocation crisis is like a "desert place" where we solely depend upon the divine providence of God as He alone knows the oasis of life hidden at the next bend of the road."

-- quoting myself

"Vocation crisis can either break you or make you a fuller being."

-- quoting myself

"Vocation crisis is a blessing...especially when it teaches you how to love eternally without requiring anything in return..."

-- again quoting myself

Ang sumusunod ay "excerpt" mula sa aking email sa aking mabait, maganda at kahanga-hangang kaibigan na si Pinky Marie nuong Jan 23, 2000 1:40 pm

******

Nasa gitna ako ng ikinakasal at ng tatlong pari na nagkakasal, nagdarasal ako na parang ganito ang sinasabi sa ko sa Kanya, “Lord saan mo ba ako gustong ilagay, dito ba sa isa o sa isa.” Napakaganda pa ng background music, naiiyak pati kaluluwa ko. Gusto kong lumagay sa parehong bokasyon pero in that instance nasabi ko na mas lumamang pa rin ang bokasyon ng pagpapari kahit kaunti.Subalit patuloy pa rin ang pagmamanman sa nagaganap sa aking kalooban.

*******

........“Father I am in love.” “Kanino?”, sabi niya. Tinanong ko kung natatandaan niya ng prayer na iniwan ko sa kwarto niya at kinuwento ko kung paano tayo nagkakilala, nung hinanap ko ang bahay ninyo at una tayong nagkita, yung pangalawa sa Bethany, sa Exhibit ni Badong, sa “Jollibee take-out”, sa bahay ninyo, sa Sta. Isabel at sa phone. I told him that we have a very prayerful friendship and that you are one my answered prayers.

.....Ipinakita ko ang pictures mo at sabi, “eh kilala ko ito!” sabay sampal sa akin.

........ “Ano ngayon ang gusto mong gawin?” tanong niya. Sabi ko gusto ko po na mai-express sa kanya/sa iyo ang love na ito na naaayon sa Kanyang kalooban. “Ano pong gagawin ko?”, tanong ko.

........“Ligawan mo” tugon ni Father (kung will talaga ni God Pinks, friends pa rin tayo kahit hindi mo ako sagutin ha! Sige na…). “Paano po di bibigyan ko ng bulaklak?” “Father marami na po’ng nanliligaw sa kanya makikigulo pa ba ako saka nagdidiscern din siya?”

.........“Paano po nag-promise ako na I will love her unconditionally magkakaroon ng contradiction?”

........Basta sabi niya na malaya ako ngayon dahil nasa labas ako ng seminaryo na walang mga pari na laging nakabantay sa amin, ito yung pagkakataon na mag-explore upang mas makita ko ang aking sarili.

......“Hindi kaya unfair naman on her part dahil diko pa talaga sure kung sa priesthood ako at kung mag-ggf man ako gusto ko sana siya na ang magiging partner ko for life e hindi ko pa naman sure kung married life ang vocation ko?”

.......... Sabi niya dapat sabihin ko sa iyo, “Eto ako mahal kita, pero hindi ko alam kung saan ang bokasyon ko, at para sa iyo ako ay nagtataya at sana ikaw din ay magtaya para sa akin.”

..........Sabi din niya, “malay mo kayong dalawa pala…kung hindi naman ay marami ka pang mamemeet” “Siguro, Father takot lang po akong mag-taya” tapos ko.

..........Around 3:30pm dumating si Odra at Dennis at inubos namin ang pagkain ni Fr. Egai sa fridge niya. Pagkabusog ay nagpaalam na kami kay Fr. Egai at kumain uli kami sa Minor Seminary....

******

PRAYER OF THOMAS MERTON

My Lord God,I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me nor do I really know myself. And the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though, I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my struggles alone. Amen.

On Vocations

Here is Pope Benedict XVI's address on Vocation Sunday-

Dear Brothers and Sisters:

On this Fourth Sunday of Easter, Good Shepherd Sunday, in which the World Day of Prayer for Vocations is observed, I have had the joy of ordaining in St. Peter's Basilica 15 new priests of the Diocese of Rome. Together with them, I think of all those that, in all parts of the world receive priestly ordination at the same time. In thanking the Lord for the gift of these new priests at the service of the Church, we put them in Mary's hands, while invoking her intercession so that the number will grow of those who accept Christ's invitation to follow him on the path of the priesthood and consecrated life.

This year, the theme of the World Day of Prayer for Vocations is "Vocation in the Mystery of the Church." In the message I have addressed to the entire ecclesial community for this occasion, I recalled the experience of Jesus' first disciples that, after meeting him on the lake and in the villages of Galilee, were captivated by his attractiveness and love. The Christian vocation always implies renewing this personal friendship with Jesus Christ, which gives meaning to one's life and makes it available for the Kingdom of God.

The Church lives from this friendship, nourished by the word and the sacraments, holy realities entrusted in a particular way to the ministry of bishops, priests and deacons, consecrated by the sacrament of holy orders. For this reason, as I underlined in the same message, the mission of the priest is irreplaceable and, although in some regions there is a lack of clergy, there is no doubt that God continues to call adolescents, youths and adults to leave all to dedicate themselves to the preaching of the Gospel and the pastoral ministry.

Another special way of following is the vocation to the consecrated life, which is expressed in a poor, chaste and obedient life, totally dedicated to God, in contemplation and prayer, placed at the service of brothers, especially the little ones and the poor.

However, let us not forget that Christian marriage is a vocation to holiness in the full sense of the word, and that the example of holy parents is the first favorable condition for the flowering of priestly and religious vocations.

Dear brothers and sisters, let us invoke the intercession of Mary, mother of the Church, for the priests, and men and women religious; let us pray, moreover, so that the seeds of the vocation that God sows in the hearts of the faithful will mature and bear fruits of holiness in the Church and the world.

source: zenit.org

Vocation Promotion

Good Shepherd Sunday (Year B)

“The World Day Prayer for Vocation”

May 6-7, 2006 Holy Child’s Parish, Meadow Heights

Today, the fourth Sunday of Easter is called Good Shepherd Sunday or also known as “The World Day Prayer for Vocation.” There are many different vocations we can follow God in holiness – marriage, religious life, priesthood, lay apostolate or single blessedness. But today the Church is urging us, together with all the faithful believers around the world, to pray particularly for the increase of vocations to the priesthood and religious life.

We need to pray for new shepherds and pastors who will preach the Word of God, who will administer the sacraments and who will lead the communities in our time.

This is why on this occasion, the bishop (as he does everyday) asks all of us in the seminary in Carlton, except the first year students, to share our vocation story in all Masses this weekend in different parishes in Melbourne and Bendigo. The bishop and priests in the seminary are hoping and praying that we will encourage young people (and also those young at hearts) to listen carefully to the voice of Jesus, the Good Shepherd, and to respond generously to his calling.

I think I’ve mentioned already in one of my homilies here how I ended up studying for the priesthood. I can’t remember any dramatic moments in my life hearing the voice of God from heaven, “John Joel come follow me, I want you to become priest.” No, God didn’t call me that way.

When I was young I always wanted to become a soldier or an architect. I never desire to become priest because I knew a priest is not allowed get married. I could not imagine myself then growing old without a wife. And I thought it was impossible for me to become priest since I got easily attracted with beautiful girls in the school!

It was my grandmother who influenced me to follow this vocation. She was very prayerful and went to Mass everyday. Today actually is her birthday. God bless her soul. Also some of my friends in highschool were the ones who encouraged me to enter the seminary.

So Jesus called me in a very special way or should I say, Jesus, the Good Shepherd, seized me by the neck with his huge staff and led me straight to the seminary –- I was only 16 years old then and I felt like a small sheep needed to be kept safe inside the sheepfold.

I spent five years of my life inside the seminary. It was not easy leaving my family and my friends but years had gone very fast. I really enjoyed living in the seminary because there we played basketball everyday! You know if AFL is a religion in Australia, for many young Filipinos basketball is a way of life! But, in a deeper sense, I developed in the seminary a closer relationship with Jesus through the Eucharist and with the help of Mary.

To cut the long story short, I left my seminary in the Philippines and I decided to continue my training here in Australia. And, I’m here speaking before you, as now, an ordained deacon. And I am looking forward for my ordination to the priesthood this year. It’s been almost ten years since I responded God’s call, although it’s not always easy but I didn’t have any regret. In fact, I’m really grateful that despite my imperfections God wants me to be instrument of spreading his love to his people.

In his very first message for “The World Day Prayer for Vocations,” Pope Benedict says, “To respond to the call of God, and to set ourselves upon the way, it is not necessary to be perfect.” We are simply needed to recognise our need for Christ. “Our fragility and human limitations are not obstacles, provided that they contribute to making us always more conscious of the fact that we need the redeeming grace of Christ.”

This year, there are 30 seminarians and 5 deacons, including myself, at Corpus Christi College Seminary in Carlton. With your support and prayer, hopefully we will continue to increase in number.

Now, if there is anyone here who is interested or curious about the priesthood or if you are contemplating religious life. I encourage you to pray and ask for God’s help and blessing to give you strength and courage to respond faithfully to his calling. As I said, you don’t have to be perfect or 100 percent sure about it. If you have any questions or doubts please feel free to approach Fr. Joe, the sisters or myself after this Mass.

So, I ask you all, to please pray that many young people today will consider the vocations to the priesthood and religious life. As Pope Benedict says, “when people pray—vocation flourishes.”

And, as we continue this Mass, let us also remember that whether we are called to marriage, religious life, priesthood, lay apostolate or single blessedness. We all have the same invitation to imitate according to our state of life, our Lord, who loving professed himself today as: “the Good Shepherd…who lays down his life for his sheep.”

Investiture '95

"Si bunsong Cune at si kuya Joel"

Shortly after the Mass ceremony of my investiture when I was a first year seminarian in Immaculate Conception Major Seminary in Guiguinto, Bulacan. The bishop of the diocese normally vests a seminarian with white soutane as a sign of a new life, leaving the old one, in following the call of Christ.

Drawing

Mas madami pa yatang drawing ang notebook ko kaysa lecture.

Unfinished (2003)

Ininip na inip (1996, Immaculate Conception Major Seminary)
My Crush in Highschool (at ng bayan!)

Art Exhibit

Hindi ko naman masasabi na talagang artist ako dahil may mga kaibigan, mga pinsan at kakilala ako na talaga namang professional sa larangan ng sining. Isa sa mga idolo ko ay ang dati kong kaklase na si Padre Conrado "Badong" Santos Jr. Hindi lang siya magaling sa basketball (matulis ang siko!) kundi'y kilala siyang mabuting pari at pintor sa Bulacan.

Naisipan ko lang ipost dito ang ilang ginuhit ko nuon habang naguubos ng oras at walang magawa, o kaya'y kapag may iniiwasan akong mahalagang gawain. Pero mas madalas kapag inaantok o naiinip ako sa klase lumalabas ang pagka-artistic ko.

Jesus of Nazareth (1996, 2nd year college)
My favorite saint, St. Therese of the Child Jesus (2003)


Blessed Mother Teresa (2002?)

Henyo

Kakaiba talaga ang wisdom ng kaibigan ko. Kahit na mula highschool hanggang ngayon ay magkasama pa rin kami ay marami pa rin akong natutunan sa kaniya. Itago na lang natin siya sa kanyang totoong pangalan, Odra Noel.


"It takes time to tango."

"Paano na kapag tumanda na si Bart Simpson?"

"Ang pagmamahal ba ng aso talagang hanggang puppy love lang?"

Lost and Found (update)

Minsan siyang nawala at minsang nasumpungan. Ngayon naman siya ay nabasa kaya't pagsasama nami'y nauwi sa luha.

Eto ang email ko sa amin:

Biyernes ng gabi ay naghouse blessing ako sa bahay at photography centre ng kaibigan ko sa Pascoe Vale. Naiwan ko ang takip ng holy water kaya nang ilagay ko ito sa bag kasama ang cellphone ko ay napatunayan ko na nakakabasa din pala ang holy water. At nalaman ko din na hindi water proof ang cellphone ko. Gumagana naman ang orasan nito-- pero di na pwedeng pantawag. Paki-announce sa Pulilan na sira ang phone ko na gamit sa roaming.

Kaya ko pala kinakabisado ang kanta at chords ng "Stay" ng Cueshé. Akala ko nagpoprocrastinate lang ako yun pala may pag-aalayan ako nito.

Para sa iyo ito "hello moto":

STAY

I believe
We shouldn’t let the moment pass us by
Life’s too short
We shouldn’t wait for the water to run dry
Think about it
Cause we only have one shot at destiny
All I’m asking
Could it possibly be you & me?

So if you’d still go, I’ll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you’ll stay, I’ll hold your hand
Cause I’m truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Time has come
For us to go, our separate ways
God forbid
But my mind is going crazy today
I feel so cold
Feel so numb
I’m having nightmares but I’m awake
Help me Lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away

Now that you’re gone,
I’m all alone
I’m still hoping that you would come back home
Don’t care how long, but I’m willing to wait
Cause I’m truly, madly, crazily in love with you

--
Now I'm procrastinating!