ActiV8

Homily
Corpus Christi College
19th October 2006
Luke 11:47-54

World Youth Day

“Who wants to work in the harvest of the Lord?” This was the opening words of Fr. Tony as he welcomed our guests last night. Last night we had a variety of people from different congregations, orders and backgrounds, as Bishop Prowse said it’s like an “Ecclesiastical Disneyland”. We may be different to one another (religious and diocesan) yet we are all united in faith and desire to follow Jesus Christ, the Master of the Harvest. We are all here at the seminary because we want to work in the harvest of the Lord.

I find it very interesting, if not inspiring after hearing stories from other people last night how the event of “World Youth Day” had contributed on their vocational journey. Like Nick, I was 16 when I attended World Youth Day celebration in Manila in 1995. Although I didn’t experience a jam-packed-train ride in Rome, mine was a life threatening-experience of a two-hour trip to Manila on a human-packed dump truck!

Generation

I was saying to myself last night that our generation is indeed privileged and blessed to experience the excitement of World Youth Day, not to mention the joyful experience of belongingness with our contemporary Catholics from all over the world.

Interestingly the word “generation” is mentioned twice in the Gospel today. That means the words of Christ uttered 2000 years ago are directly and effectively addressed not only to the past generations but also to our generation and specifically to each and one of us, present here today in this chapel.

We, seminarians and priests “who are called to work in the harvest of the Lord”, face the same challenge of doing the work of Evangelization in our time, our place and our generation. The First Reading reminds us that it is God himself who has chosen us to do this important job, as St. Paul says, “Before the world was made, he chose us…that we should become his adopted sons, through Jesus Christ for his own kind purposes.”


Condemnation: A warning for us followers of Christ

In the Gospel today, we heard of Christ’s direct condemnation and opposition to the Pharisees and lawyers at his time. The Pharisees showed to themselves to be accomplices in the murders committed by their ancestors. They do not really honor either the prophets of old or the prophets of God in their own time. Worst of all their generation rejected Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who is greater than any prophets.

The condemnation of Jesus to the Pharisees does merely explain his opposition to them but also as a teaching to his disciples and a warning to us who profess to follow him.

We are aware how the apostles shed their blood as a consequence of their desire to continue the works of Christ. Inasmuch as the apostles experienced rejection and death from the hands of their torturers, so we, too, who are called to be living witnesses of Christ in our present generation will also experience rejection and difficulties in other ways.

We, who are called to remove barriers to the preaching of the gospel to the people, will also find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation.

And we, who are called to ease the burdens on others and help them carry their loads, despite our good effort and intention will also experience accusations and condemnations.

Prayer

But despite these negative consequences and hardships of following Christ, we can also include the difficulty of writing essays, or preparing a homily early in the morning, let us be aware that we are not alone. There are many young people around the world who like us are all excited about Christ. Unlike the Pharisees, we priests and seminarians today are hope for this generation.

We thank God for this wonderful privilege of being called to continue his mission on earth. So, “Who wants to work in the harvest of the Lord?”




“You will receive the power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses.” (Activ8)

War and Resistance

Catholic War Veterans Mass
Homily
13 October 2006

I remember when my grandmother was still alive I often asked her to tell me her experience during the Second World War, when the Japanese Imperial Army invaded the Philippines in 1941. She said they had to leave their home and moved from one place to another in order to escape the approaching Japanese soldiers. She said life was very difficult during the war. They didn’t have enough food and medicine. They stopped going to school. Many families were separated. She herself lost her only brother who joined the Filipino guerillas to defend the country and never saw him again after the war.

Last week, during my hospital chaplaincy work experience in Ballarat, I met a deeply religious elderly patient whom I gave Holy Communion and administered the Sacrament of Anointing. On my last day, which was last Friday, he told me that he’d been in the Philippines. I was surprised when he said that he was an Australian Navy and was actually present when General Douglas MacArthur arrived at the island of Leyte, to begin the campaign to recapture the Philippines. Their ship also went to different countries in Asia, like Indonesia, Korea, to neutralize their enemies. As a navy he told me that he saw the horror and destruction of the Second World War. I told him that I would mention his story in my homily today.

As I recall today his story and my grandmother’s story, I can tell that their memories of war, like all others who experienced war, are stories of courage and determination to survive, of longing for peace, unity and preservation of justice.

The principle of “winning” a war or battle is to strengthen both offensive and defensive forces. The Gospel today tells us about “war” but in a sense of our “spiritual warfare”. There is a spiritual battle between good and evil. As Christians our sole “offensive and defensive force” against evil forces is no other than Jesus, himself.

We heard from Luke Gospel Jesus is casting out a devil from a deaf-mute person. “Jesus' numerous exorcisms brought freedom to many who were troubled and oppressed by the work of evil spirits. Jesus himself encountered personal opposition and battle with Satan when he was put to the test in the wilderness just before his public ministry (Matthew 4:1; Luke 4:1). Ultimately, He overcame the Evil One through his obedience to the will of his Father.”

“Jesus makes it very clear that there are no neutral parties in this world. We are either for Jesus or against him, for the kingdom of God or against it. There are ultimately only two kingdoms which stand in opposition to one another— the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness which is under the rule of Satan. If we disobey God's word, we open to door to the power of sin and Satan. If we want to live in true freedom, then our "house" (the inner core of our true being) must be occupied by Jesus where he is enthroned as Lord and Savior.
In our present society we encounter the fact that many people are living in a culture that defies human mortality and disregards the spiritual aspect of human being – the true worth of human existence. Our human condition needs redemption both from the inner and external reality of our existence.[1] We need to be saved from all kinds of oppression such as sin, death and various evil forces of destruction. The state of our human condition is contaminated with sin and guilt – we are suffering from the inner wounds, sickness and hard-heartedness!

Only Jesus is the Saviour: by his death and resurrection he achieves a glorious triumph over sin, death and the darkness of evil.[2] So Jesus alone is the divine-human agent equipped with special gifts to bring salvation for humankind.[3] Christ’s redeeming power is always available to liberate us from the bondage of injustice, to expiate us from sin and lastly bring us back to the eternal love of God.

So in the light of the Gospel, as Christians, our stories too must be stories of courage and determination, of longing for peace, unity and preservation of justice.



[1] O’Collins, Interpreting Jesus, pp. 135-141.
[2] St. Paul’s vision of Christ who frees us from the enemies describes: “Now the sting of death is sin, and sin gets its power from the Law. So let us thank God for giving us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1Cor 15:56-57).
[3] Loewe, “Jesus Christ” in The New Dictionary of Theology, p. 540.

Sorrow and Hope

Home Mass at the Vergara's Sunbury

For the eternal repose of the soul of Kuya Ruding

(and all our departed loved ones)

September 22, 2006

12:00pm

Death is a human reality we face everyday. Whether we like it or not, whether you are young or old, rich or poor, our own death is inevitable. But death is not the end of everything. Our Christian faith reminds us that the death of kuya Ruding is but a continuation of his life with our Risen Lord.

We will forever sadly miss our loved ones however we put our trust in God that his death is something meaningful and significant. We trust that death cannot be the end of everything. The words of Christ give us confidence that death is vital for our own salvation too. The words of Christ in Gospel directly call to us and our departed loved ones, “Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest.”

It is now time for kuya Ruding to give himself up totally to God. We ourselves will do the same, at a time we do not know. Again the word of Jesus in the Gospel speaks directly to him, “Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light.” It is our hope that our Lord may open wide the gate of heaven for kuya Ruding who depended solely upon him like. We pray from the depths of our hearts that the soul of kuya Ruding will now finally receive its peace and rest in heaven, where he will enjoy the fruits of his labour and sacrifice on earth.

Our Christian faith tells us that death is not the end. The glorious Resurrection of Christ reminds us that death is not something to be afraid of. He assures us that he is “the way the truth and the life.”

The death of our loved ones is not the end. Although our hearts are full of sadness, but at the same of joyful hope and profound gratitude knowing that his life is changed, not ended. We can still be close to them and they can be close to us still. It is only through the death and resurrection of Jesus that we can come to believe that out of death comes life, darkness turns to light and self-surrender leads to an everlasting life.

Writer

Maganda sana kung magaling akong magsulat. Yun bang pagbasa mo ay captivated ka agad at ... opps, nakakatamad ituloy. (Dumaan lang).

Re-detachment

Thanksgiving Mass at St. Leo’s Parish
North Altona
September 30, 2006
Mk 9:38-43, 45, 47-48

Anyone who is not against us is for us. If your hand should cause you to sin, cut if off.

Tuesday morning, October 10, 2000, I came in Australia to continue my vocational journey to the priesthood which I started in the Philippines. In the evening a priest from the seminary drove me to Altona North and entrusted me to a Vietnamese priest for three months until began my formal studies at the seminary. Fr. Paul is the first Vietnamese person I knew. He gave me a very warm welcome and made me feel comfortable. He took me around the parish. We visited parishioners (often to have meal). We attended dinner dance parties (fund raising concerts). We cut down trees and planted new plants at the presbytery garden. He taught me a Vietnamese words, and believe it or not, he taught me some Italian and Maltese words.

This is not a homily for Fr. Paul’s canonization, but I just would like to mention the contribution of Fr. Paul in my discernment to answer call of Jesus “come follow me.” During those three months of living here at St. Leo’s, I learnt from Fr. Paul how to adapt in a new country, how to mingle with people from different backgrounds and cultures, and more importantly, I’ve seen in Fr. Paul a living witness of a happy priest – a happy follower of Christ.

(Note: Fr. Paul escaped from Vietnam via Malaysia during the war. He was in a refugee camp in Malaysia for a few years. Before receiving international grant to stay in Australia he was ordained priest in the camp.)

Christian happiness

I think all of us are striving to be happy. Young and old, rich and poor instinctively want to be happy. Everyone desires a feeling of joy and pleasure, cheerfulness and contentment. People are seeking happiness and enjoyment in different ways – some go for fishing, others simply visit their friends or family members, rich people travel abroad for a holiday, and all others. My parents, other than visiting garage sales, they find joy in looking after their six grandchildren.

But what is happiness in a deeper level? How can we achieve Christian happiness? Money and wealth cannot buy us happiness as the Second reading says: “your wealth is rotting away, your clothes are all eaten up by moths.” The Gospel reading this weekend doesn’t directly answer the question of human happiness however in the Gospel Jesus spoke about detachment to sin. Jesus clearly warned his disciples about the grave consequence of sin. “If your hand should cause you to sin, cut it off; it is better for you to enter into life crippled, than to have two hands and go to hell, into the fire that cannot be put out.” Of course, Jesus’ words must not be understood literally, we don’t we want to see blood here tonight.

What Jesus wants us to achieve is to detach ourselves from things that cause us to sin, he wants us to strive hard to avoid anything that separate us from the love of God. Sin never brings us happiness but guilt-feeling and broken relationships.

Detachment

So, I think detachment is the key for this Sunday Gospel. To detach means to be removed from something, from a place, or from a group of people. When people marry the couple detach themselves from their own family. In some other circumstances, one party has to to leave his or her country because of love. Detachment can be painful and difficult but it has a rewarding consequences. The same with following Christ, a person has to know how it is to detach oneself from the things that give him/her comfort.

Detachment can be an simple and ordinary but the challenge always remains. Jesus mentioned in the Gospel, that the simple act of giving a cup of water to drink for someone in his name has a reward so how much more doing some good works such as visiting the sick, saying sorry or giving forgiveness.

Ordination

Two Saturday ago, when I was ordained at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, together with now Fathers Thinh, Justin and Eugene, we formally detached ourselves from our families and loved ones so we can allow ourselves available for greater service of God’s people.

So I ask your prayer that all four of us, and also for Fr. Paul who were ordained may continue to be faithful in doing service in Christ name; that we may continue to detach ourselves for the greater service of God's people; that we may find the comfort of Christ's consolation when the pain of detachment stirs us up; that we may know the joy of the priesthood and Christian discipleship amidst the challenge of today's world.

And as we continue in this Eucharist, let pray us for one another that with God’s grace and through his Holy Spirit, we may detach ourselves from our sin, so that we may continually be happy followers of Christ.

Multicutural Event

On a bright, sunny morning on Saturday, 16 September, hundreds of people made a pilgrimage to St Patrick’s Cathedral to celebrate the ordination to the priesthood of four men: Eugene Ashkar, John Joel Vergara, Thinh Xuan Nguyen and Justin Ford for the Melbourne Archdiocese. In a sight rarely seen, St Patrick’s was filled to its capacity. The throng of people who gathered in the Cathedral mirrored the diverse composition of our Melbourne Church, with people of all backgrounds coming together to celebrate the occasion.


Aside from the very different cultural backgrounds of the four men, perhaps part of the reason for the cosmopolitan audience present at their ordination can be traced to the positive impact these men have already made on our community: all have previously served in Melbourne parishes as deacons, and all have had pastoral years here. It is fortuitous that their multifaceted ministry continues in our great city.

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the last and the least

Mass of Thanksgiving and First Holy Communion
Holy Child Parish

Dallas

September 23, 2006

‘Anyone who welcomes one of these little children in my name, welcomes me; and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.’ Mk 9:37

Once there was a small village that was stricken by a terrible drought. People were panicking and were all worried about their crops and animals. Living in this desperate situation, people thought of going to their old parish priest to ask for help. The parish priest suggested that everyone should be united in prayer, asking God for the rain. He instructed the people to gather in front of the Church the next Sunday morning and asked the people bring with them anything that symbolizes their faith.

When the day came, as instructed, the people gathered outside the Church to pray for the rain and with them a symbol of their faith in God. The priest was delighted to see his parishioners holding rosary beads, some brought their bible and holy images, and others came with crucifix of different sizes.

But everyone was all surprised when they saw a little boy wearing a raincoat and holding big umbrella.

Today, we heard from the Gospel Jesus asking his disciple to welcome the little children if they want to receive God in their lives. Jesus fondly used the characteristics and qualities of the children to describe what it is like to be his true follower.

The child is the symbol of someone who is small, powerless, and innocent. Children have a strong faith; they acquire the quality of total dependence from their mum and dad. Children are not afraid to be who they are. They cry one moment and laugh the next moment. Children are not image-conscious. Children are not afraid to get hurt for being known for who they are. Children are free to be who they are, they seem playful and joyful at all times and very pleased at whatever they are doing.

Unlike Jesus’ disciples, who are arguing who is the best, the greatest, or the coolest among all, children don’t desire to be great or popular. As the apostles’ attention was focused on honor and glory and on who was the most important one, children on another hand are pretty much content with what they have. Children are contented even when lack material goods, they stand in need of spiritual blessing promised by God. That is why children are so loving and lovable.

So when Jesus heard that his apostles were discussing about their personal dreams and ambition to be great, Jesus immediately stopped their conversation and pointed out to them that if they wanted to be popular they must serve others in love. If they wanted to be the first, they need to get rid of their pride and ambition; they have to seek the last place because greatness asks that one be the servant of all.

We will never find in the Gospel Jesus teaching his apostles to boast for their works or to seek their own glory. Rather, Jesus’ teachings are all about self-sacrifice, humility, love, tenderness, compassion and forgiveness. As Jesus said: “If anyone wants to be first, he must make himself last of all and servant of all.”

Personally, this particular passage is a challenge for me as a newly ordained priest – I am a one-week- old priest to be exact. I was ordained together with my three fellow “baby priests” in St. Patrick Cathedral. There were so many people I really I felt like a celebrity. People wanted to take photos with me; some people were asking me to sign the Mass booklet; others were even asking my phone number; and I’ve got lipsticks all over my face.

For awhile I felt like a celebrity, or an Australian idol, but I always reminded myself that people admired me not really because of me but because of Christ who rests in me, and in my priesthood. Jesus Christ came in this world to serve the poor and little ones, and so like Christ, I am also called not to be served but to serve. It is my prayer as I begin my priestly journey that my faith and love of God will be like of a little child who trusts lovingly and rests contently with his or her parents.

Also, it is very fitting that this evening six children from our parish will advance their Christian journey as they receive Christ for the first time in Holy Communion. It is also very fitting that the Gospel today tells us an occasion when Jesus welcomes the children and lovingly puts his arms round them. In the Holy Communion Jesus will not only put his arms round these children but indeed Jesus will nourish their spiritual needs and keep them under his love and care. In Holy Communion, they will receive Jesus Christ, who offered for us the most perfect act of love - the total sacrifice of self – by his death on the cross and glorious resurrection.

As we continue in this Eucharist, could I ask you to please pray for these children that they may grow in their faith and love in Christ. Please pray for Fr. Justin, Fr. Thinh, and Fr. Eugene who were ordained with me last Saturday that we may always be faithful to our vocation. And let us pray for one another that we may imitate the little children, so that we can share the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Lorenzo & Matthew

Novena Mass for San Lorenzo Ruiz
St. Brigid’s Church, North Fitzroy
September 21, 2006
Feast of St. Matthew, Apostle and Evangelist
Eph 4:1-7, 11-13; Mt 9:9-13

“Name”
It was said that yesterday there were around 300 million people around the world who watched the memorial service of Steve Irwin. Although I was not able to watch this event on tv I saw in the internet when Steve’s daughter, Bindi Sue, confidently delivered her touching speech about her dad. Do you know that Bindi Sue is named after Steve’s favourite pet snake “Bindi” and pet dog “Sue.” Galing!

Pero di pa rin papahuli ang Pinoy pag dating sa pangalan. Filipinos are also creative in naming their children.

Actually today is the birthday of my sister Marsha. My sister is born in 1975 on the 3rd anniversary of the declaration of Marshal Law by the late President Marcos. And I was named after “John Puruntong” from the comedy sitcom “John n Marsha.” Funny enough I watched last night its updated version “John n Shirley” on TFC.

The calling of Matthew
I’m sure there are many interesting stories behind the names of people we know. In the Gospel reading today we heard a story of a certain man named Matthew. I didn’t have time to look up today what Matthew’s name stands for however the scripture and tradition tell us some background about this man.

Matthew was a sinful man. Isa po siyang tax-collector. People at the time of Jesus regarded tax collectors as notorious corrupt individuals. The Pharisees branded them as the worst of sinners along with thieves and prostitutes. In fact even the beggars refused to receive alms from tax collectors.

Matthew was regarded as a public sinner. He had no friends. He was isolated from the society at his time. When Jesus saw him sitting at his office doing his taxation work we can easily imagine that Jesus must looked at him with him interior pity. Jesus undoubtedly saw in Matthew his deep thirst for compassion, for friendship, and most of all his for God.

When he heard the simple command of Jesus “follow me,” Matthew made no delay, but “got up and followed him.” Hindi na siya nagpatumpik-tumpik. Wala siyang ‘mamaya-na’ habit. At this point in his life Matthew would never be the same person again.
Matthew through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit allowed Jesus to heal, restore and transform his new life. Jesus' command, “follow me” turned Matthew's life upside down.

Matthew who once owned considerable wealth, stood up, and followed Jesus immediately. He would be aware that Jesus had no earthly wealth, but realised that Jesus is the only One who can give him everlasting treasures in heaven.

Discipleship
In fact the meaning of discipleship is to turn one’s life upside down for Jesus. The words of Jesus “Follow me” is a gentle command to imitate Jesus not only in words but more importantly in actions. To imitate Jesus is to radically change our lives – since discipleship as I mentioned is “to turn one’s life upside down for Jesus.”

Our very own Saint San Lorenzo Ruiz, literally “turned his life upside down” for Jesus. Binitin po siyang patiwarik. He was hung from the gallows by his feet, his body falling into a pit. Refusing to denounce his Christian faith, he told his executioner that he was ready to die for God and give himself for many thousands of lives if he had them.

Application
I think the challenge for us all here this evening to have a sense of urgency and readiness to “turn our lives upside down” in following the call of Jesus. Like Matthew we are called to “get up immediately” to do what God wants to do.

Jesus wants us to be like him for one another, in our society, in our workplace and in our own family not tomorrow, but now. The first reading directs us how can we do this, it says “Bare with one another charitably, in complete selflessness, gentleness and patience.”


In this Novena Mass, let us remember that God is calling us by our own name to follow him. Let us pray that the Lord may help us to put the teachings of the Gospel into practice and courageously give testimony of our faith in the midst of the contemporary society to which we belong, through the intercession of St. Mathew, and of San Lorenzo Ruiz, who consecrated the whole of their lives to the cause of Christian faith. Amen.

Wedding party

salamat sa sponsor

hating kapatid tayo

kasama ang ama't ina sa stage



saya parang fiesta

First Mass Homily

St. Peter Chanel Parish, Deer Park September 17, 2006
‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross and follow me. Mark 8: 35

Uncertainty, anxiety and fear of what the future holds – these were the feelings I had in my prayers twelve years ago every time I would visit the church after sending my sister Maricon off to her school every morning. It was the moment in my life when I think I prayed really hard for the first time as I was waiting for the result of my entrance exam for the seminary in the Philippines.

My prayers were filled with uncertainty, doubt and fear -- I wasn’t sure whether I would pass the examination or not; and if I passed it I wasn’t sure then if I really wanted to become a priest. It was also unclear to me at the time that God wanted me to become a priest.

At the age of sixteen I started my seminary training, and during my early years of formation I still carried with me fear, uncertainty and doubt. Although I have always wanted to follow Christ and do his will, I was afraid and uncertain about my vocation -- I was afraid to become a priest. I feared of surrendering my personal dreams and happiness.

Then after years of discernment, through the grace of God, and with the help of other people’s prayers, somehow my faith has grown in maturity. Gradually I saw more clearly the vocation God intended for me. And finally, yesterday I was ordained priest!

I had the privilege to be ordained to the priesthood at St. Patrick’s Cathedral together with my fellow “baby” priests, Fathers Thinh, Justin and Eugene. At the ordination Mass four of us formally said our “yes” and expressed “our willingness to follow Christ’s call” no matter what. By the virtue of the Sacrament of Holy Orders all four of us became Christ’s representatives. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we were configured to Christ to dedicate our lives completely to his Church, and for the sake of the Gospel.

It is very appropriate that the Gospel reading today speaks clearly about discipleship in its deepest meaning: ‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross and follow me.

However, the message of the Gospel today doesn’t apply only to me as a newly ordained priest or to my brother priests, but the word of Jesus applies to everyone here in this Church.

Regardless of what state we find ourselves in, as Christians, we are all called to follow Christ.

The first condition in following Christ is to know him in a personal and intimate manner. Jesus asked Peter “Who do you say I am?” because Jesus wanted to hear from Peter’s own lips his personal understanding about him. Peter answered on behalf of the disciples, confessing, “You are the Messiah.”

Peter’s answer was right but he couldn’t accept the fact that suffering was to be part of Christ’s mission of salvation. Peter could not make sense at all of why Jesus, the Messiah, the Son of Man, would suffer and die just like any human being. Peter and the disciples had seen Jesus performing miracles, healing the people and even raising the dead. So it was just too much for them to understand how Jesus, their Lord and Master, in the end would suffer helplessly and would be put to death.

Sometimes when we’re confronted with the necessity of suffering, we react exactly like Peter. The suffering we face could be a financial or health problem or the death of a loved one; we react like Peter who doesn’t clearly understand the important role of suffering in our lives. Sometimes we fail to answer correctly the personal question of Jesus “Who do you say I am?”, most especially in our present society, where interpretations of suffering and failure are dominated by a “culture of success” and the image a “trouble-free society.”

In the light of today's Gospel, we must insist that Jesus Christ, our Lord, is not a triumphant Messiah, but a suffering one who saved us and the world by humiliation, defeat and surrender.
The messianic expectation of God’s people was contradicted by the actual messianic role of Jesus because he didn’t preach armed revolt and a war of political liberation. On the contrary, his appallingly painful and utterly disgraceful death not only manifested his true identity as Son of God the one who brings about salvation for others but also fulfilled his prediction of himself as the “suffering messiah.” We heard this image of the Suffering Messiah in the First Reading: “I gave my back to those who struck me, my cheeks to those who tore at my beard…”

Jesus’ own suffering and death, and his glorious resurrection reveal to us that the mystery of human suffering can have a redemptive role in our lives and the lives of others. But of course God doesn’t want us to suffer; he doesn’t delight in human suffering. God is the source of all goodness. He knows and understands our sufferings and sacrifices; he knows our individual struggles, our loneliness, bitterness and fear.

Suffering for parents could be the challenge of raising their children. Suffering for young people could be the feeling of meaninglessness or losing the sense of purpose in life. Suffering of elderly people could be the feeling of rejection and being abandoned. Suffering for others could be separation from family and loved ones. Our suffering could be our own struggle against our addiction to sin and our own weaknesses.

The words of Jesus in today’s Gospel, ‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross and follow me’ are an invitation for us all to put our suffering into the perspective of love and self-denial.

To follow Christ willingly and to trust his word, cannot avoid accepting suffering as part of it. Even Mary, Christ’s very own Mother was not spared her own cross of suffering, from the moment she conceived her Son until his death on the cross. But in the end, we learned from her, how to surrender, obey and believe even in times of pain and desperate hope.

When Jesus says, “take up your cross,” he is not just referring to major sacrifices like accepting martyrdom. He is also referring to the daily sacrifices of love that animate our lives. It is true that the concept of sacrificial love is completely opposed to the mindset of today materialistic society. Therefore in this Eucharist let us pray for one another and ask God to give us all the ability and the courage to love, to deny ourselves and endure sacrifices because of love.

Uncertainty, anxiety and fear of what the future holds – these were the feelings I had twelve years ago. I admit this is also how I feel now, but the words of Christ “take up your cross and follow me” no longer appear a threat but an assurance that grace accompanies every cross we carry, when we depend more on God than on ourselves.

Let us remember that when there is some pain in our lives, when we have to carry a cross, it is an opportunity for us to forget ourselves and put Jesus alone as the center of our life. Amen.

Proud to be Pinoy

Sa unang kita ko lang pa lang sa iyo ay nasabi ko sa sarili ko "parang kilala kita ah." Nilapitan kita at pabulong na kinausap "aba ikaw nga" (kumakabog pa ang puso). Paikot-ikot ako sa iyong harapan at palingalinga na sana ay may kapatid din na mapadaan. Pero wala.

Sabi ko sana sa susunod na tayo magkita ay kasama na kita pag-uwi ko. Excited na excited ako nun.

Ganon nga ang nangyari. Sa ikalawang pagkakataon na tayo'y nagtagpo di na kita pinakawalan. Taas noo akong naglalakad at sa lahat ng kakilala ikaw ay iwinawagayway.




"This Air Force 1 has been produced to celebrate the life and times of the Philippino (Filipino) hero, Jose Rizal. The upper features a suede and patent leather upper and has been designed in the colourway of the Philippines national flag."

Astig ang Pinoy. Proud to be Pinoy! :)

Happy Birthday Mama Mary

In every aspect of her life Mary knows that her role is to subordinate herself to Jesus. Mary, who was so close to the human Jesus as his mother, had devoted her life from the moment she conceived him and never left him, even at the cross. Mary is the first disciple of Christ and a perfect Christian because she remained in full humility under the shadow of her Son. In Luke’s Gospel the first misunderstanding Jesus has with another person is with his mother. After finding the child Jesus who went missing at the temple, she rebukes him saying, “Son why have you done this to us? Don’t you realize that your father and I have been full of sorrow while searching for you? ” Then he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”[1] Mary does not understand, and so she returns to reflection, thought, and prayer, seeking to learn from the Spirit what her growing son is about: who he is and what he is becoming.[2]

Scripture presents Mary like Jesus, who grows in age and wisdom, as she accompanies the growth of her son – she keeps in her heart everything that Jesus says.[3] She treasures words, events and thoughts of her son Jesus. She knows that she is just a handmaid of the Lord who is called to obey what her Lord asks her to do. St. Augustine affirms Mary’s faithful discipleship saying that she first conceived Christ through faith before conceiving him in the flesh.[4] For this, Mary is a perfect model disciple: one who faithfully believes every word of Jesus Christ, and then goes to believe his promises more and more until his death and resurrection. Mary as a servant of the Lord, has no other model other than her son Jesus Christ himself. All of Mary’s titles and attributes point to glorify Jesus, the Servant of God, who in his faithful obedience to the Father has suffered and died on the cross. Mary is the first disciple of the New Testament, who learned from Jesus what it means how to surrender, obey and believe even in times of pain and desperate hope. So, deep in the heart of Mary lies a prayer of humility and faithfulness that we all Christians are ought to say as well in the depths of our being: “Jesus, make me a servant only like you.”




[1] Lk 2:48-52.
[2] Megan McKenna. Mary Shadow of Grace. (New York: Orbis Books, 1996) 95.
[3] “As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Lk 2:19.
[4] Bertrand Buby S.M., Mary the Faithful Disciple (Mahwah: Paulist Press, 1985) 13.

The Hubbard Family

For the first time after eleven years the Hubbard family had been reunited -- where all seven of us were present at the same time and at the same place.


Before...


after 11 years...

With our new members (one still to come!)

Conversion

"Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed you fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace."

from the confessions of Saint Augustine

The Greatest Commandment

The Greatest Commandment
Mt 22:34-40
August 25, 2006

Corpus Christi College

There are many occasions in the Gospel when people come to Jesus to ask him questions. The Gospel last Monday, if you remember is about the story of the rich young man who asked Jesus how to gain eternal life. In today’s Gospel, a lawyer or a student of the Law is the questioner of Jesus.

Unlike the rich young man who sincerely asked Jesus on how to gain eternal life, the lawyer approached Jesus “to test” him by asking which commandment in the law is the greatest. According to most commentaries, this person represents the Pharisees who want to distinguish and select from some 613 laws and commands of the Torah the first and the greatest commandment. Knowing well his questioner’s intentions Jesus refuses to play the Pharisees’ attempt to catch him in a mistake.

Jesus’ answer to his question is not a categorical answer stating the greatest commandments. Rather, he gives the double commandment of love that can summarize the Law and the Prophets, the meaning of life, and the entire Gospel: to love God with all our heart and all our soul and all our mind, and to love our neighbours as ourselves.

The first commandment calls us to remember part of the Jewish profession of faith, the Shema: “Love the Lord your God with all your might.” And this reminds us that to love God with all our heart…soul and mind.. is more than a feeling or emotion but it is a matter of faithfulness and commitment, both in words and actions. Since God is truth and goodness itself, and since he has loved us with everlasting love, we ought to love him above all creatures and with our entire being.

The command to love God has as its inseparable counterpart the command to love neighbour. To love one’s neighbour as oneself means to love him as we should love ourselves. We must love our neighbour as ourselves because they too are children of God, they carry in their soul the image of God, they have human dignity, and like us, our neighbour are destined for eternal union with God through love. This reminds us that the best way to understand how we can love God and how God loves us and how to pray is to think in terms of a relationship based on charity.

Jesus teaches us that charity is the greatest and first commandment because he whom we are to love is God, infinitely perfect, containing within himself all beauty, truth, goodness and love, because the purpose of all the commandments is our union with God in love. If we fail to observe charity, we fail in all, for all other commandments reduce themselves to charity.

So as men who are preparing for the priesthood, let us pray that God will increase his grace upon us and help us to love him with all our heart soul and mind in every circumstances of our life. Let us also pray that our desire to follow his Son, our Lord, may be transformed into a pure love, which is faithfulness and commitment, both in words and actions.

Food for Life

SUNDAY HOMILY: 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Holy Child Parish, Meadow Heights
July 30, 2006

Once there was a priest who was sent to a country parish in Peru. After several weeks of learning Spanish he felt terribly lonely and homesick; missing his former parishioners.

He thought of getting a pet to give him company. Off he went to a nearby pet shop. Going through all the pet animals, he decided to buy a talking parrot.* “I know this one is very expensive, but I am sure this will cheer me up,” he said to himself as he excitedly brought it to his presbytery.

But several days passed and the parrot hadn’t uttered a sound. The poor priest went back to pet shop owner and complained.

“What it needs is a ladder for the cage,” the man said. “When it goes up and down, it’ll start talking. But the parrot didn’t speak a word. So the priest returned and complained.

“Ah, Father, what it needs is a swing,” the owner said. But a week went by, and still the bird didn’t talk. When the priest returned to complain for the third time, the pet shop owner said what it needed was a mirror in the cage. But again it didn’t work.

Another week passed and the priest came back to the pet shop, this time he was mourning. He reported that his expensive parrot had died. The owner was embarrassed. “I’m sorry to hear that Father, but did it say anything at all?”

“Yes,” said the poor priest. “As my parrot drew its last breaths, finally it spoke. It said: “Father, don’t they have bird food in the pet shop?”

The priest and pet shop owner were so preoccupied with the bird’s various needs that they forgot the one most basic need – food!

***

The readings we have today this Sunday speaks of hunger for food, and how God is concerned with this hunger. Food is one of the basic needs for everything living things in order to survive - plants, animals, and human beings need food!

We need regular nourishment to keep us going with our daily activities. People go for work so they can earn money, and afford to provide descent meal for his or her family. Because food sustains life, without food we will get hungry, deteriorate and eventually suffer the grim fate of the talking parrot in the story.

In the first reading, prophet Elisha attends to the hungry crowd with barley loaves and fresh grain. With the help of God he performed a miracle so that was able to feed hundreds of people. This story finds a parallel in the Gospel reading today – Jesus fed food to 5,000 men! Imagine if we include their wives and children, there were at least ten or twenty thousand people. But Jesus managed to provide them an abundant meal – more that they could possibly eat. The Gospel says the disciples gathered twelve baskets of scraps left over from the barley bread.

You may be wondering where these crowds came from and why they were following Jesus? At that time Jesus had already attracted many people because of his teachings, sign and miracles. Jesus was like celebrity – people were following him wherever he goes. Probably many were attracted only out of curiosity wanting to find more about this person.

That day a great crowd had gathered around Jesus. Instead of giving them long discourses or sermons Jesus felt immediately their needs – these people were tired, exhausted and hungry. For that moment Jesus’ priority was to attend their hunger. Indeed one cannot preach the Word of God to people with empty stomachs! So he asked Philip, “Where can we buy food for these people to eat?” To cut the story short the crowd got a good feed – for free! They were all satisfied and for sure they gained weight as well!

****

I don’t think lack food is a problem in a rich country like Australia. Some people in rich countries are more concern about whether it is healthier to be a vegetarian or not. Whereas in poor countries, people don’t have a luxury of choosing between beef and vegetables; millions of people are dying from hunger,

Food is very important, but still, food is not the only thing that matters. Even if we eat three times a day, still we experience interior or spiritual hunger that only God can satisfy.

The Gospel reading today, is not much about the miracle of multiplication of the bread, but it is a story where Jesus leads his followers to recognise the Bread that does not perish. Jesus is preparing the people for the greatest miracle, when he will offer himself as the giver of life at the Last Supper. We will hear about this theme the next coming Sundays. If you go to Mass next Sunday, (I’m sure you will) you hear Jesus speaking about bread becoming his very Flesh, and wine as his very Blood. Jesus is the Bread of Life from Heaven that nourishes people’s spiritual hunger.

In fact, this is what we are going to receive today in the Holy Communion. In the every Eucharistic celebration, Jesus offers himself as the Bread of Life, to nourish our spiritual hunger and needs. More than this Jesus promises eternal life to whoever receives this food: “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has life everlasting and I shall raise him up on the last day.”

So as we receive Jesus later on in the Holy Communion let us express our thanks and praise to God for this great opportunity, which not everyone has, or some people take for granted. After we receive Holy Communion let us allow God to fill up our interior longing, and spiritual hunger that material things cannot fulfill. Finally, let us pray that through this Eucharist each one of us will come closer to Jesus – the Bread of Life – so that we may not experience hunger but gain EVERLASTING LIFE.

* Adapted from the story of Fr. Ben San Luis SVD

pagtatagpo

panalangin ko sana ay
makapiling ka
sa bawat sandali ay
makasama ka

sa aking pag-iisa
ikaw ang nakikita
alam ko bukas
ay may darating na
umaga

panalangin ko sana ay
matagpuan,
ang Kalooban
nya’y ikaw sana

Chorus:
Muling magtatagpo
ang ating puso
pagsasaluhan ang
pag-ibig na Kanyang handog
Huwag nang matakot at
di na muling maghihiwalay
Sa piling Niya tayong dalawa
magsasama habang buhay.

panalangin ko sana
ay ialay sa Kanya
bawat sandali ng
ating buhay

pagkat ang puso natin
ngayon ay iisa
sa Panginoon habang buhay
tayong magsasama.

October 1, 2002
Feast of St. Therese of the Child Jesus

Twenty Questions Ni Juan Ekis*

This play won a Palanca Award for 1-Act Plays.


MGA TAUHAN
Jigs - Fresh grad. Kabarkada ni Yumi. Magtatrabahobilang researcher sa isang financial firm
Yumi - Commercial Model. Kabarkada ni Jigs. 2 yearsahead kay Jigs.

TAGPO
Gabi. Sa isang kwarto ng isang beach resort.Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sasahig habang inaayos ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.
YUMI Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentle man.Naaawa ako sa¹yo e. Tabina tayo sa kama.
JIGS Hindi, okay lang ako dito.
YUMI Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kitano. Malaki naman itong kama e. Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.
JIGS Sure ka?
YUMI Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?
JIGS (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?
YUMI Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumotna divider.
JIGS Good idea.
Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahatiang kama sa gitna. Magsesettle down ang dalawa. Ilalabas ni Jigs anglibro niya: ³Puppy Love andother Stories² ni F. Sionil Jose. Si Yumi naman aymagpapatugtog ng Japanese ZenMusic habang nagsa-zazen.
YUMI Do you mind?
JIGS No, go ahead. I¹m just reading.
Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silangdi maka-concentrate.Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.
YUMI I can¹t believe our friends.
JIGS Oo nga e.
YUMI Dapat ginagawa nila ?to sa mga bagong pasok sabarkada o kaya sabagong...ay oo nga pala. Bagong graduate ka. Congrats.
JIGS Thanks.
YUMI So what¹re your plans?
JIGS Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rinako ng BPI sa OTP nila.
YUMI Wow naman. In demand.
JIGS Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented thistradition anyway?
YUMI (Matatawa) You won¹t believe it.
JIGS Ikaw?
YUMI Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.
JIGS So why did you start it?
YUMI Wala ka pa sa tropa nun e. Freshman ka pa langsiguro noon. Wala lang. Napagtripan lang namin si Ronald. E may crush siya kayMeg. Noong unang besesmagpunta rito ng barkada, sabi ko, magsimula kami ngtradition. Ilo-lotterynamin ang pangalan ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae. Kungsino ang mabubunot,silang dalawa ang pagsasamahin sa isang kwarto sa loobng tatlong araw. Andthen, we¹ll all see what happens. Pero dinaya naminnoon yung kay Ronald atMeg. Puro Ronald at Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagaysa lottery.
JIGS (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!
YUMI Kaya nga nakarma na ako e.
JIGS So is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?
YUMI (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?
JIGS Feeling ko may nagtrip sa¹kin sa barkada e.
YUMI Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don¹tsee any reason kung bakit tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima this year,unless may crush ka sa¹kinna di ko alam at alam nila (tatawa).
JIGS Baka ikaw (tatawa).
YUMI The success rate of this tradition is 100% sofar.
JIGS I was here na the 2nd time. Si Chris at si Ciaang biktima.
YUMI And last year were Rod and Kay. They¹re gettingmarried kailan?
Sa June yata.
JIGS What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalakiat isang babae sa isang kwarto for three days, imposibleng walang mangyaridoon!
YUMI That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)
JIGS E kung may madisgrasya?
YUMI Ano¹ng disgrasya?
JIGS Alam mo na ?yun!
Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider nilang kumot.
YUMI Ano? Sex? Pa¹no kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa kanaman. Di mo masabi.
JIGS Ang alin?
YUMI Ang sex!
JIGS Hah!
YUMI Sige nga sabihin mo nga?
JIGS Para kang tanga. Tumigil ka nga.
YUMI Shet, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!
JIGS Excuse me?
YUMI Sabihin mo nga: ³Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!²
JIGS Para kang bata, Yumi ha.
YUMI You used to call me ate Yumi when you were inthird year.
JIGS Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.
Tahimik.
JIGS Hmmm. I wonder if we¹re gonna last three days.
YUMI (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa¹kin?
Di sasagot si Jigs.
YUMI We¹re gonna survive this one.
JIGS What makes you so sure?
YUMI No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you veryattractive pero I¹ve no timefor this. Alam mo naman siguro na kaka'
JIGS Same here.
YUMI Same here what? Na you find me attractive o youdon¹t have time for this?(Matatawa)
Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang CDplayer at ipagpapatuloy ang zazen. Itatabi ni Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siyang ganang magbasa. Pupuntasiya sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.
JIGS Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How veryconducive.
YUMI May chips ba diyan?
JIGS Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.
Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player. Tatayo siya at kukuhang chips sa ibabaw ng ref.
YUMI Since we¹re gonna be stuck naman with each otherfor three days, might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na lang natin.
JIGS What do you mean?
YUMI Get the wine, let¹s have a drink! 50 hours to go na lang and
we¹re gonna be the first failure of this tradition.
JIGS Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.)
When they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e.Lalo na sina Rod and Kay.Kung baga, tinulungan lang natin silang umamin saisa¹t isa. Pero us...
YUMI Weird ng barkada natin no?
JIGS To our barkada and our weird traditions!
YUMI To us, the first failure of this tradition!
Magto-toast sila at iinom.
JIGS Sige, ate Yumi. Let¹s make our stay here more interesting...
YUMI What¹s with the ate?
JIGS Fine...
Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo sila pareho sa sahig para magkwentuhan.
JIGS Let¹s play twenty questions.
YUMI Sige! Ano yon?
JIGS Each of us will have ten questions each.Tatanungin kita, tatanungin mo ako, mga gusto nating malaman sa isa¹t isa. Alternatetayo. Pero the thing here is, you can¹t ask the question that I already asked.
YUMI That¹s pretty interesting.
JIGS At bawal magsinungaling.
YUMI Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside thisroom remains in the room.Ok?
JIGS Of course. You wanna start?
YUMI No. I want to ask the last question. (Ngingiti at kikindatan si Jigs)
JIGS Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo sa buhay?
YUMI Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walangka-challenge-challenge. Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.
JIGS Simula pa lang e.
YUMI Sige. Ano nga ba...?
JIGS Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge-challenge?
YUMI Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako...I¹m a frustrated ballet dancer.
JIGS Talaga?
YUMI I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako.Wala kasi akong disiplinae. Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero Ireally enjoy watching ballet dancers. When I see them dance parati kongkaiisip na sana, ako rin.There! Ang dali naman ng tanong mo. Walang thrill.
JIGS Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa¹kin mamaya.
YUMI We¹ll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality? Imean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla ka?
JIGS Never.
YUMI Bilis ng sagot a.
JIGS Coz I never entertained the idea.
YUMI Homophobe ka ba?
JIGS Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?
YUMI So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?
JIGS I¹m straight, okay?
YUMI I¹m not asking if you¹re gay or not. I¹m askingkung...
JIGS Never nga.
YUMI We all thought na you were gay. Well at leastnung first few months mo sa tropa before you introduced your girlfriend to us.
JIGS What?! You thought I was gay?!
YUMI E pa¹no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogimo, pero parang allergic ka sa mga babae. Over ang pagiging gentleman mo. Toogood to be true. You have a good body, it seems that you work out pero iniisipnamin front mo lang yun.Kadalasan kasi front ng mga bakla ang pagiging magandang katawan nila atpagiging sporty...
Tatawa lang si Jigs.
YUMI So we thought it¹s either that or you were planning to become a priest.
JIGS What?!
YUMI Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta ka sa chapel.Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba...
JIGS The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.
YUMI Of course not. I didn¹t mean that!
JIGS I take my faith seriously. That doesn¹t make me gay!
YUMI So you did want to become a priest...
JIGS Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family...and be a father.
Tahimik.
YUMI So you¹re not gay.
JIGS No.
YUMI You never...
JIGS Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It¹s my turn.
YUMI Homophobe ka no?
JIGS Hindi kaya!
YUMI Whatever...
JIGS Ako na, daya mo naman e.
YUMI Okay, okay. Shoot me.
JIGS How do you see yourself five years from now?
YUMI You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga tanong mo e.
JIGS The object of this game is not to win.
YUMI E ano pa ba?
JIGS To get to know the other person.
YUMI Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walangthrill ang isang game kung walang nananalo.
JIGS Sagot.
YUMI May time limit ba ?to? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.
JIGS Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.
Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.
YUMI Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito?(Iinom) To answer your question, either maging entrepreneur ako, magsisimulaako ng sarili aong botique or bar, o kaya, magiging artista ako sa pelikula.
JIGS Not bad.
YUMI Pero mukhang malabo yung stint ko sa movies.Tough ang competition e. Sakamahina ang manager ko. Panay hosting at pictorials angnakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan ko na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako, baka magtayo na lang ako ngbotique.
JIGS (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?
YUMI Yuck!
JIGS Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon dumadaan.
YUMI May talent naman ako kahit papano a!
JIGS Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib!(Tatawa)
YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga!Akala ko goody-goodyka...Hindi ko papatulan ang pagbobold kahit ano¹ngmangyari no! Kahit ganitoako, may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.
JIGS Ganito? Ano¹ng ganito?
Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.
YUMI These producers think all the people want is sex,sex, sex! Kaya purobasura ang mga pelikula e. Wine pa nga!
JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?
YUMI Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Akona¹ng magtatanong. Ang kornimo namang magtanong. Bigatan naman natin nangkonti...Inom ka muna. Iinom siJigs. Magsasalin siya ng bago.
YUMI Who was your first crush in the barkada?
Tahimik.
YUMI Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.
Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng bago.
JIGS Lalaki o babae?
Tatawa sila pareho.
YUMI Dapat may time limit ito e.
Tahimik.
JIGS Hirap naman ng tanong mo.
YUMI Iyon nga ang maganda e. Para may thrill. As ifnaman ibo-broadcast ko sabarkada kung sino.
JIGS Wine pa?
YUMI Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong kana!
Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay Yumi.
JIGS Yung crush ko kasi...siyempre, sino pa ba? E diyung pinakamaganda sabarkada.
YUMI Nge. Subjective yon no! Para sa¹kin angpinakagwapo si Joel. Sa > babae, siKay. Para kay Ronald, si Meg...
JIGS Yung literally na may dating'walangtanung-tanong. Yung kahit sino¹ngtanungin mo sa tropa, objectively, siya ang isasagot.
YUMI Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindiguessing game. C¹mon man.Play your own game. Pa¹no na kung truth or dare to edi pahirapan na. Dadalawana nga lang tayo e.
JIGS Yung commercial model.
Matitigilan si Yumi.
YUMI Wine pa nga.
Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si Yumi. Iinom. Biglangmatatawa.
YUMI (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?
JIGS Sige, pagtawanan ba?
YUMI You can say it to my face, I won¹t bite. Bakithirap na hirap kang sabihinkung sino? Takot kang ma-reject? Parang tanong lange...Wine pa nga!
JIGS Okay, 1 point ka na...
YUMI (Ngiti) Gee...thanks. Flattered naman ako. Atkailan naman nangyari ito?
JIGS Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is yourcrush in the barkada...NOW?
YUMI E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.
JIGS Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW.Ang tanong mo, first crushko.
YUMI Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ?to,tambak ka na.
JIGS Just answer the question.
YUMI Siyempre wala. I told you, I don¹t have time forthese stuff. Kakabreak kolang di ba?
JIGS Korni mo namang sumagot.
YUMI E korni yung tanong e. Pero kungtalagang-talagang kailangan kongsumagot...hmmm...teka...sino nga ba? Sino ba¹ng crushmaterial sa barkada? Walaakong maisip e. Ikaw na lang.
JIGS Yung seryoso naman.
YUMI Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang...
JIGS E napipilitan ka lang e.
YUMI Uy! Pa¹no ba¹yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crushkita...yiheee
(Tatawa).
JIGS Dati pa ?yon no!
YUMI Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Anonamang ginawa ko? Tsk.Tsk.
JIGS Is that your question na?
YUMI Oy, hinde! Ito naman...di ba pwedengmag-follow-up?
Iinom ng wine si Jigs.
YUMI Fine. Here¹s a little juicy question: Describeyour first kiss.
JIGS That¹s not even a question.
YUMI Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?
Matatawa si Jigs.
JIGS Wet.
YUMI Yuck!
Magtatawanan sila.
JIGS Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasikami nung isa kongkaibigan. Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa kanya, parati kosiyang kini-kiss sa noo. Eone time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya sasahig. Tinatamad siyangtumayo. So bumaba ako nang konti para halikan siya sanoo kasi pauwi na ako. Esiya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto,sa lips ko siya nahalikan.Pareho kaming nagulat. Pero di pa kami naghiwalayagad. Weird nga ang feeling e.Parang may glue. Ayaw na namin maghiwalay pareho...
Tawa pa rin si Yumi
YUMI Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. SiKrissy ba to?
JIGS Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.
YUMI So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?
JIGS Nope.
YUMI Ha?
JIGS Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namine. May boyfriend siyanoon. Ako naman, takot pa sa isang relationship. Peroat least, na-discovernamin na pareho pala kaming may gusto sa isa¹t isa.Pero hanggang doon na lang.
YUMI What happened after?
JIGS We talked about it. We both decided na it wontwork. Tapos, bigla na lang,hindi na kami nagkikita. And then, I met you guys, ibana ang barkada ko.
YUMI Nakakatuwa naman.
JIGS Ikaw, pa¹no yung first kiss mo?
YUMI Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba?Bakit ba lagi mongbini-break ang rules? Di mo na pwedeng tanungin ?yan!
JIGS Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom ngwine) Okay, naka-warm-upna ako: What was the naughtiest thing you ever did?
YUMI ?Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba¹ng ibig mong sabihinng naughty?
JIGS Bahala kang mag-define.
YUMI Hmmm...marami e...(matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.
JIGS Kanina ayaw mo ng korni. Ngayong medyo excitingnaman...
YUMI Eto na...I had two boyfriends at the same time.
JIGS (Nagulat) Hala.
YUMI I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.
JIGS Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?
YUMI Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako(matatawa).
JIGS Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo¹t ginawa mo ?yon,aber?
YUMI Nag-eexperiment lang ako. E sa type ko silapareho e.Ano¹ng magagawa ko?Saka para may thrill. Alam mo ?yon? Yung patago kangnakikipag-date sa isa paradi mahuli. Everyday pa akong nakakalibre, kasi,alternate sila! (Tatawa) Akalan¹yo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng gumawa no¹n?
JIGS How can you love two guys at the same time?
YUMI Who said something about love? Walang kinalamanang love dun. Iwas...having fun!
JIGS Nainlove ka na ba, ever?
YUMI Nakakailang tanong ka na? It¹s my turn.
JIGS Don¹t you want to answer the question anyway?
YUMI My turn!
JIGS Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)
Ubos na ang unang wine bottle. Kukuha si Jigs ng isapa sa ref.
JIGS Ang bilis nating uminom a.
YUMI Are you still a virgin?
JIGS Whoa! Where did that come from?
YUMI That¹s my fourth question.
JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tinginmo?
Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang siya ni Yumi.
YUMI Don¹t tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo niKrissy hanggang ngayon?Ilang taon na ba kayo?
JIGS Mag-tu-two years na sana next week.
YUMI So virgin ka pa? I don¹t believe it!
JIGS Mukha ba akong tarantado?
YUMI Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.
JIGS Insulto ba ?yon?
YUMI Compliment ?yon, tanga.
JIGS Ah, okay. Thanks.
YUMI Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?
JIGS Alin? Sex?
YUMI Wow! Nasabi rin niya!
JIGS Of course I always feel it. Natural lang ?yon satao no? Nasa iyo na lang?yan kung ano¹ng gagawin mo sa urge na ?yon.
YUMI E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? Imean, pag naiihi ka, iihika. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka. Pareho lang ?yon, diba?
JIGS Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mongumihi. At hindi ka iihi kahitsaan. Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain kadahil kailangan. Athindi mo kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain saiyo. Pag di ka gutom, di kakakain. Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain, di mo gagalawin.Ang aso, pag may nakitangpagkain diyan, walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon ?yan.
YUMI And sex is the same?
JIGS Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context.At least, yun angnagpaiba sa atin sa aso.
YUMI Grabe ka namang magsalita. Para mo na ringsinabing lahat ng nakikipagsex,aso ah!
JIGS Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto,mali.
YUMI And what is that context?
JIGS Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam nanatin yan.
Tahimik.
JIGS Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natinginagawa.
Tahimik.
JIGS Masarap e. Sino ba¹ng ayaw nun?
Tahimik.
YUMI (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapatkang i-congratulate forbeing a virgin!
JIGS Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko.Ineexplain ko lang kung bakit diko ginagawa. May kanya-kanya tayong dahilan. Di kopinipilit kahit kanino angmga paniniwala ko...No need to get so cross about it,
Yumi.
Tahimik.
JIGS It¹s not about being a virgin or not. It¹s aboutputting things into theirproper places.
YUMI I¹m not arguing with you.
JIGS Me neither. I¹m just answering your questions.
Matagal na katahimikan.
Ngingiti si Jigs.
Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita sa nakaraangtrain of conversation nila.Magsasalin siya ng wine para kay Yumi.
JIGS Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa) Youstill wanna go on with thegame? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more to go. (Ngingiti)
YUMI Shoot me.
JIGS Who was your first lay?
YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Ang bastos motalaga! So ina-assumevb mo nahindi na ako virgin?
JIGS E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walangnananalo e. So I guessI¹m winning. Saka wala naman akong inimply na ganun a!I¹m just hitting twobirds with one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simplelang ang sagot: wala.Kung hindi naman, e di sino?
YUMI Ang daya mo.
JIGS Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.
YUMI You think I¹ll answer that after giving yoursermon, Father Jigs?
JIGS Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personalreasons ko. Kung ano man ang saiyo, I¹ll respect them as well as I know you respectmine. I¹m no saint. I¹mjust trying to get to know you better. (Ngingiti)
YUMI How do you do that?
JIGS Alin?
YUMI I should have walked out on you kanina pa perothe way you saythings...parang bumabaliktad sa¹yo...makes youmore...charming. Kung ibang taoka siguro, di na kita kakausapin.
JIGS You can¹t walk out. We¹re locked here for threedays except for meals.
YUMI So I¹m forced to like you para di masira angvacation ko. (Ngingiti)
JIGS You don¹t have to answer my question if you don¹twant.
YUMI I guess I¹ll be honest with you as you werehonest with me...
Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.
YUMI Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was myfirst boyfriend. It wasSenior Prom Night. Alam mo na...typical senior promstory. Everyone wants tolose it on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag promnight, it was somethingspecial. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We made outsa kotse niya. One thingled to the other. Tapos, yun...yun na. We went backjust in time for theawarding of the prom queen. Guess what, I won pa.(Mahinang tawa)
JIGS What was it like?
YUMI Now that I look back, it isn¹t as special as Ithought it was. Pero it wasdifferent then. Back then, we were just led by ourpassions. Alam mo yon? Andunka na. Hormones raging wild. Passions and Ideals areconfused. Akala mo love,yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo yun na yon.Akala mo you are in-love atlahat ng gawin mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo perfect.Everything wasmagical...well, almost.
JIGS Almost...?
YUMI Sa next question mo na ?yan. Ako na.
JIGS (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.
YUMI Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa¹kin no?(Tatawa)
JIGS Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na. (Tatawa)
YUMI Engot. Hindi ?yon. Here¹s something na curiouslang ako. Kasi I¹ve beenhearing things...saka you¹ve hinted on it na rinkanina...Are you still withKrissy?
JIGS Hindi na.
YUMI Since when?
JIGS Two, maybe three weeks ago?
YUMI Sino¹ng nakipag-break?
JIGS Pareho kami.
YUMI Why?
JIGS Maraming dahilan, actually. Naisip na lang naminna it won¹t work. Isa nado¹n, magkaiba kami ng gustong mangyari sa buhay.Magkaiba kami ng mgapinaniniwalaan.
YUMI Like what?
JIGS Marami.
YUMI At ngayon mo lang nalaman iyon after two yearswith her?
JIGS People change, Yumi.
Tahimik.
JIGS Right before graduation, she asked me to move inwith her.
YUMI Talaga?
JIGS Sabi niya, doon na naman din daw papunta angrelasyon namin. Might as wellpractice na raw for the real thing. Tutal, she¹sworking na naman, ako namanbagong graduate, we should try out na raw livingtogether if it¹ll work for us.
YUMI Natakot ka sa arrangement?
JIGS Hindi naman sa natakot. If you love someone, anopa¹ng ikakatakot mo, diba?
YUMI E bakit umayaw ka?
JIGS It¹s just that, it¹s not my thing.
YUMI Sabi na nga ba e, bakla ka no? Sinasayang mo angopportunities! (Matatawa)
JIGS Hindi ako oportunista. At lalong hindi ako bakla.
YUMI Fine.
JIGS Naisip ko lang na hindi pa pala ako handa sa mgaganitong bagay. Wala pa saisip ko ang gano¹n. Na-shock siguro ako sa reality naiyon na nga ang next stepsa relationship namin. I mean, two years of beingtogether and knowing eachother, we¹re practically ready to get married, if youknow what I mean. Pero Irealized, I¹m not ready for any of these. Narealize kohow immature I am. Naiba yung ideals ko two years ago sa ideals ko ngayon.I need to mature some moreto get into this thing'I mean, getting married. Diyosko, ilang taon lang baako...
YUMI Maturity has nothing to do with age.
JIGS But it has a lot to do with time.
Tahimik.
JIGS So I thought, bakit kailangan ng practice mode?Ibig sabihin, pag sumablaykami, split na kami? Live like a couple minus thecommitment? Pa¹no pag nawalana yung magic? Goodbye na?
Iinom ng wine si Jigs.
JIGS Kung kasal na, kasal na. Wala nang practice. Ithink that¹s the realcowardice. Yung i-try muna natin kung it will workkasi takot kayo na bakahindi maging successful ang outcome. Saan na napuntaang excitement ng buhay?Kaya nga kayo in-love, para sabay kayong humarap satotoong buhay, sa hirap atginahawa, di ba? (Matatawa) Hindi yung pagpapraktisanmuna ninyo parasiguradong ginhawa lang.
Magkikibit-balikat lang si Jigs.
YUMI Are you always like that?
JIGS Like what?
YUMI So cerebral in everything. Kahit pagdating sarelationships.
JIGS Life is too precious para lang daanin sa trialand error.
Ngingiti si Jigs. Tahimik.
YUMI So, No hard feelings?
JIGS Friends pa rin kami. She still calls me up nga sabahay e.
YUMI That¹s nice.
JIGS Kayo, bakit kayo nagbreak ni Carlo?
YUMI That¹s your sixth na ha?
JIGS Sure.
YUMI Alam mo, ironic para sa akin yung break-up naminni Carlo. And the funnything was, it was about...sex. Uy, sa atin lang itoha?
JIGS Of course.
YUMI Kasi nga, I was looking for that magic nga di ba?I wanted to be in arelationship na special naman. So of all theboyfriends I had, sa kanya langako walang sexual relationship. As in nag-aabstaintalaga ako. Kasi parangnaisip ko, para magkaroon naman ng meaning yung³making love² di ba? Parang,dapat di mo parating ginagawa, at ginagawa mo langwhen you are sincere withyourself and with your partner. So I was investingmuna emotionally. And I wasactually starting to care about him. Yung, hindi ko nainiisip yung sarili ko.Yung siya lang ang inaalala ko. Akala ko perfect na...
JIGS Ano¹ng nangyari?
YUMI Patunayan ko raw na mahal ko siya. Magbigay dawako ng proof. Pagbigyan koraw siya. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi pa ba sapat na proof?yon? Na I¹m savingmyself for that right moment, that special momentbetween us? Alam mo¹ngginawa? Nilayasan ako!
JIGS You deserve someone better.
YUMI Talaga!
YUMI Isipin mo, kung kelan naman I grew tired ofmeaningless sex, when I¹mlooking for the real thing, saka naman mawawala. Angironic ng buhay no?
JIGS That¹s the way we must learn.
YUMI Alam mo, kung tutuusin, never ko pangna-experience yung tunay na magmake-love. And I had to go all through thoserelationships para lang ma-realizeyun. At least, ngayon, alam ko na ang hinahanap ko.
Iinom ng wine.
YUMI Ikaw ba, importante sa¹yo na virgin angmapapangasawa mo? How do you seevirginity ba?
JIGS Alam mo, di ko pa napag-isipan ?yan. Pero nowthat you¹ve mentioned it...Itdoesn¹t matter kung virgin ang mapangasawa ko o hindi.Of course I valuevirginity a lot. I treat it as the only real gift Icould give to my wife to be.Imaginin mo na lang di ba, kung wife ko ang una ko.It¹s like the perfectwedding gift I could give to her. Pero kung siya hindina virgin, I wouldn¹tcare. As long as mahal ko siya. Kasi I don¹t expecther to give me the samegift. I don¹t do something because I expect people todo the same to me. Ibigayniya sa akin ang sarili niya nang buong-buo, sapat nasa akin ?yon. Masaya naako sa ganoon.
YUMI (Mapapangiti si Yumi.) You know, that¹s thenicest thing I ever heard froma guy. That¹s why I always enjoy talking to you. Youalways say the nicestthings.
JIGS Wow. Salamat. E ikaw, is making love to you equalto love?
YUMI I always took sex and love as opposite ideas. Imean, after the first timena...you know...sa Senior prom. Kasi afterwards, webroke up na ni Robert. Taposnaisip ko, yun na ba yung love? Baka hindi love yungnaramdaman ko. Bakanapagkamalan ko lang siyang love. I was just after thepleasure of intimacy. Andthen I felt empty. So empty. That¹s why I wanted tochange. I wanted to believein ³making love.² And I¹m still looking for it. Yungmagic. Yung feeling mo, taoka pala. I never felt that kahit isang beses. Men havepenetrated my body butnever my soul. And I wanted that. I wanted someone totouch my soul. To ³makelove² to my soul through my body. Pero siguro, nagingnumb na¹ko sa dami ngrelasyong pinagdaanan ko. Hindi ko alam kungmararanasan ko pa iyon. That¹s whyI envy you.
Tahimik.
YUMI Sa tingin mo may pag-asa pa ako?
JIGS You still have your soul...(Ngingiti)
Tahimik.
YUMI With whom would you want to experience it?
JIGS Of course, sa asawa ko.
YUMI I mean, someone in particular. Take it as myseventh question. So give aname.
JIGS A name? Hindi ko alam. Basta kung sino angmagiging asawa ko.
Tahimik. Magkikibit-balikat si Yumi. Iinom ng wine.
JIGS Well, I always thought na it was Krissy. Andthen, it was just gone. Ofcourse I loved her. And I still do. Pero the magic wasjust gone after we bothfound out na magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo sa buhay.
Tahimik.
JIGS My turn?
YUMI Shoot me.
JIGS Tell me something...a secret. Yung wala kahitisang nakakaalam.
Matagal na katahimikan.
JIGS You trust me naman di ba?
YUMI Well, you¹ve earned it, alright.
JIGS Saka wala akong tinatago sa¹yo. Sinagot ko lahatng tanong mo as honestlyas I could. (Ngingiti)
YUMI I uhm...
JIGS Yes...?
YUMI I need more wine.
Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.
JIGS Take your time. We have less than fifty hours togo.
Iinom ng wine si Yumi.
YUMI I¹ll tell you something no one in the world knowsexcept one other person.And that person probably forgot all about me already.
JIGS (Pabiro) What? You had sex with a stranger?
YUMI Ano ka ba?
JIGS Biro lang. Seryoso na.
YUMI Promise ha? Hindi ito lalabas.
JIGS Promise.
YUMI If this goes out, I will hunt you kahit salibingan mo. Huhukayin kita atpapatayin kita ulit.
JIGS Mamatay man ako ngayon.
YUMI Okay...(Pause) I...I was with Joel then...(Magiging mas seryoso ang tononiya) ...and Zach. I wasn¹t really with Zach, I wasjust going out with him pagwala si Joel, alam mo na...making out andstuff...Well, anyway, I was kindaserious din naman with Joel that time. Joel and Iwere...you know...doing it.And...
JIGS And...?
YUMI Uhm...I...uhm...I got pregnant.
JIGS What?
Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.
YUMI I uhm...shit. Hindi ko naman talaga ginusto e.Uhm...Two months akongdelayed...then I took that test. I found out na buntisnga ako...and Joel foundout about Zach (maluha-luha na) and I didn¹t know whatto say, you know?Maniniwala ba naman sa akin si Joel na naaliw lang akokay Zach? Na I didn¹treally love him? Na wala lang iyon? And so he broke upwith me and...I..uhm...Iwas afraid and uhm...
(Magsisimula siyang magbreak-down)
JIGS It¹s okay...
YUMI I uhm...hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, Joelleft me. I wanted to tellhim about the baby to make him come back but I don¹tthink he¹d believe meafter the thing with Zach...and...my parents are gonnakill me if...shit.(iiyak)
JIGS (lalapit kay Yumi para i-console ito)Ssshhh...you don¹t have to tell methis if it upsets you...
YUMI And so I went to a clinic...(hahagulgol) I didn¹tmean to, Jiggs. I wasn¹tmyself then. And I felt so afraid. So alone...
JIGS Tahan na. Ssshhh...
Iiyak lang si Yumi kay Jigs. Yayakapin ni Jigs siYumi.
JIGS Alam ba ?to ni Joel?
YUMI How can I tell him? The only other person nanakakaalam ay yung duktor saclinic. God...(iiyak) Oh God...
JIGS It¹s alright...
Hihimasin ni Jigs ang likod ni Yumi. Patatahanin niyaito. Matagal silangnakaganito lang. Matagal na katahimikan.
YUMI Can you get me my yosi?
Tatayo si Jigs. Pupunta sa may side table sa tabi ngkama. Kukunin ang yosi niYumi. Magsisindi siya ng isa at iaabot kay Yumi.
YUMI Thanks...
Matagal na katahimikan.
YUMI If we were...if we were the last two people onearth, would you considerdoing it with me?
JIGS Doing what?
YUMI Alam mo na...
JIGS Alin? (Teasing ngingiti)
YUMI Gago mo. (Ngingiti)
JIGS Ngumiti rin.
YUMI So? Would you?
JIGS Alin nga? Di mo masabi no? Bakit di mo masabi?(Pagtatawanan si Yumi)Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!
YUMI Shut up nga!
JIGS That¹s your eight na, ha?
YUMI I lost count. Answer it.
JIGS Why not?
Hihithit ng yosi si Yumi. Tahimik. Sasandal si Yumi sabalikat ni Jigs.
JIGS If you could be something else, what would yoube?
YUMI I dunno...maybe a violin...yeah. Violin siguro.
JIGS Bakit?
YUMI I always saw the relationship of a violin and itsplayer as very intimate.Pag tumutugtog ang violinist, ang nakikita ko atnaririnig ko, he strokes thesoul of the instrument and the instrument penetratesthe soul of the player.Para silang nagmi-make love. Di ba? Very sexy, veryintimate, very sublime. Diba? Pareho silang sincere sa isa¹t isa. Dahil kunghindi sila sincere, walangmusic na mabubuo. The violin surrenders her body toher player, her whole bodyand her whole soul, in full trust and sincerity. Diba, compared to the soundof the other instruments, ang tunog ng violin parangisang naked woman? A nakedwoman in surrender? I want to be a violin. I want tobe stroked in the soul. Iwant to make sincere music. I want to experience thesound of love.
Tahimik.
JIGS Lalim nun ah. (Ngingiti)
YUMI Pa¹no mo malalamang in-love ka na?
JIGS Paano? I don¹t think there¹s a formula to that.Basta malalaman mo na lang.I mean, ilang beses lang ba nangyari sa akin ?yon? I¹dlike to believe na yun nanga ?yon...yung kay Krissy...
YUMI Kwento mo nga...paano mo narealize dati na mahalmo nga si Krissy?
JIGS Alam mo nakakatawa...korni actually. Babalik nanaman ako sa pagigingkorni nito e. Di ba ayaw mo sa korni.
YUMI Sige na. Hindi na kita aasarin.
JIGS I heard bells.
YUMI Ano?
JIGS Seryoso. Bigla na lang, habang nag-uusap kami,may narinig na lang > akongbells, tapos music. Ewan ko kung iniimagine ko lang?yon pero yun ang nangyari.Nakakatawa nga e. Parang kanta ng Beatles.
YUMI Seryoso ka ba?
JIGS O baka naman nagkataon noong oras na yon, maynagkakantahan sa kung saansa school. Basta may narinig akong bells. Taposnapangiti ako. Pagtingin ko samata niya, iba na ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko na siyanakita as kabarkada lang.Biglang parang may magic. Hindi ko ma-explain. Baduypero ganun. Tapos I justseized the moment. Umamin ako. A week later, kami na.
YUMI Korni nga. (Matatawa)
JIGS Korni talagang pakinggan. Pero pag nandun ka na.Pag naranasan mo na,feeling mo, hindi na korni.
Ngingiti si Yumi. Tahimik.
YUMI Alam mo, may times na parang tunog violin angboses mo. O lasing lang ako?
Tahimik.
JIGS I¹m into my last question.
Iaangat ni Yumi ang ulo niya.
YUMI Shoot me. Better make it good.
JIGS If you were again to be the next victim of thistradition, if you were tobe locked up in this room again...who would you wantthe next guy to be?
YUMI (Mag-iisip) I want someone whom I could talkto... Yung makukwentuhan ko ngmga sikreto ko. Yung may sense makipag-usap. Yung maylaman. The violin playerwho¹d stroke my strings...not even. Yung mapapatunogniya ang strings kowithout even touching them. (Tahimik) Lumuluwag na angdila ko...kung anu-anona ang nasasabi ko. (Ngingiti)
Tititigan lang ni Jigs si Yumi. Tahimik.
YUMI Siyempre yung masarap kausap.
Tahimik. Hindi makatingin si Yumi.
YUMI Yung kahit habambuhay wala kaming gawin kundimag-usap... I think it¹sbetter than making love.
Mapapatingin si Yumi kay Jigs.
YUMI Gosh I want to kiss you so badly.
Matitigilan siya.
YUMI I can¹t believe I just said that.
Tahimik. Titignan niya ulit si Jigs.
YUMI Don¹t you want to kiss me?
Pause. Titignan siya ni Jigs sa mata.
JIGS Is that your last question? (Ngingiti si Jigs)
YUMI Yes.
DILIM.



* Habang binabasa ko ito mula sa email ng kapatid ko isa agad ang nasa isip ko-- ipopost ko ito sa blogs. Hindi ko ilala kung sino si Juan Ekis pero saludo ako sa pagsulat niya nito. Sanay kapulutan ng aral. Naalala ko tuloy ang kantang "Telepono" ng Parokya ni Edgar.

Post Bulletin

Nakainis na nakakatuwa habang sinisearch ko ang mtv video ng papa cologne ay nabiktima ako ng post bulletin sa friendster. Yan talaga ang nagagawa ng procrastination. Ok back to my thesis.

:)

My Right

I have the right to remain silent.






:)

Search for Meaning

Every human being has a drive to search for meaning in life, relationship, experience, career, vocation, faith, society, ethnic identity, among others. Ironically, one of the major problems in the people today, whether in the first world or third world countries, is the feeling of the total and ultimate meaninglessness of their lives. We hear people committing suicide due to terrible pressures and difficult circumstances in life that they could not afford to see the light of a meaningful life. It is sad to hear when people lack the awareness of living worthy and meaningful lives. They seemingly succumbed to emptiness and the void they feel within themselves.

On the other hand, we hear people talking frankly and energetically about their views of life, their feelings, their struggles, their religious beliefs, their psychological uncertainties, politics and morality, and sexual relationships.

Despite economic, religious, and political differences all people are equal as we search for the meaning of life. However, the way people comprehend things in the same circumstances differs from one person to another because each individual is unique. What matters is not the general consensus of the meaning of life but rather the specific response of the person at a given moment. As an individual being, one has his or her own challenge in life, specific problem to solve, and unique question of meaning. Because each person is unique, we lay a template of meaning upon a particular object different from others. Everyone has his or her own demands for fulfillment inasmuch as every person has his own vocation or mission in life. But then again, we are equal in terms of orienting ourselves (or struggling) with the meaning of the mystery of our human existence.

To understand the meaning of life requires us to have a sense of true self-knowledge. Awareness of our being – to know who we are – expresses more concretely what make us different from other beings in the world. The existentialist answer to this question directs us to understand our existence in the sense of “standing out” in the world.[1] Our mode of existence compared with beings like cats, trees, and rocks, is completely different in the sense that we alone are open and aware of our being, in some degree, we alone know what we are.[2] We “stand out” in the world because of our intellect, freedom, and responsibility. As one existentialist says, “existentialism’s first move is to make every man aware of what he is and to make the full responsibility of his existence rest on him.”[3]

Lastly, our search for the meaning of life oftentimes is posed to us even more intensely when we experience love and happiness, and suffering and death. Love and happiness bring us such delight as we experience them with a person we love, in a good deed and in service of others, in sport and play, in art and science.[4] Another meaning of existentialism confronts us with an inescapable and unavoidable situation of suffering and death. They may appear in the face of incurable disease like cancer or being disabled, death of a loved one, or awareness of our own imminent death. Like happiness and love, the experience of suffering and death make clear to us that the meaning of life will remain a big question and deep mystery to understand.

To conclude, our human limitations tell us of our incapacity to achieve the fullness of knowledge and answer the enigma of human existence. Our inadequacies lead us to grasp something beyond our human understanding which leads us toward the attitude of faith. So as we become more aware of our ‘unworthiness,’ our search for truth goes to a higher level that is beyond the empirical world we know, to the questions of ultimate causes – the search for God.

[1] John Macquarrie, Principles of Christian Theology, (London: SCM Press Ltd., 1982) 60.
[2] ibid.
[3] Jean-Paul Sarte, Existentialism and Human Emotions, (New York: Philosophical Library, Inc. 1957) 16.
[4] Cf. German Bishop’s Conference, The Church’s Confession of Faith, (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1987) 16.

Sikat II

Nasa dyaryo daw ako ngayon pero di ko pa nakikita. Pag-medyo ok looks ko siguradong ipopost ko dito.


:)