I Doubt...

Second Sunday of Easter A

March 29-30, 2008
Scripture: John 20:19-31 “

Help my unbelief Lord”

Doubt
All of us have our moments of doubt and uncertainty - should we quit our job and try a new one? Do I really love my girlfriend? Should we marry? Should we break from an unfulfilling relationship? What I’d like to do in university? Do I really want to become a priest? Should I trade in my old car on a newer model? Buy a new house in a more expensive suburb? Will I ever be a good mother to my children? What about church’s moral teachings or government policies?

You doubt. I doubt. Why not? We all have the right to doubt.

There are a number of reasons for our doubting, uncertainty and indecision in life - in some instances it is simply lack of will power or confidence. More often we doubt things because of of ignorance and lack of information. When we doubt we demand for proof. We always want to be 100 percent really sure of things in life. We know the saying "to see is to believe!" To say in other way, "to believe is to see".

Thomas the Twin This exactly what happened to Thomas after the Lord Risen from the dead. His mind and heart are full of doubt whether to believe that Jesus really rose from the dead. Thomas laid down his requirements for believing in the resurrection. His doubts that the Lord has truly risen echo through history. His doubts echo as well our unbelief and lack of faith.

Thomas sincerely believes that Jesus, who he followed wherever he went, was now dead and gone. He was sincere about his doubt. He was sincere in demanding proof that the Jesus is alive. Suddenly his fellow apostles reversed his unbelief as they proclaim, "We have seen the Lord! Jesus is alive! The doors were all locked and suddenly he stood there among us! He talked to us!" Thomas’ heart could not accept it. Too much was at stake. So he dramatically cried out loud, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe."

This is exactly in character for Thomas. The tough words are really a protection for a heart that would break in half if given another false hope. “The only way I would believe such nonsense is if you give me very practical proof.”

Jesus gave it. Fingers in nail marks, hand into side.

In spite of his cynicism, Thomas had always belonged to Jesus. When he got the practical proof he needed, he sank to the ground.

And then, doubting apostle proclaimed the greatest profession of faith: “My Lord and my God.”

It becomes the foundation of our Christian faith. Our faith is based on the divinity of Jesus as proved by his miracles, especially by the supreme miracle of his resurrection from the dead. Thomas’ profession of faith is the strongest evidence we have of the resurrection of Jesus. It was such a faith that culminated in Thomas’ self surrender to Jesus, his heroic missionary expedition to India in A.D. 52 and his fearless preaching and powerful testimony by life, which led him to his martyrdom in A.D. 72.

We are like Thomas, we doubt things...are doubt is strong at times of trials and sadness. When like is tough we doubt the presence of our loving God. We accept our being human but like Thomas let us use our doubt, our skeptism to help us grow in faith.

The good thing about Thomas was that he was honest. He was sincere and courageous enough to say, “I really do not understand…I really cannot understand that the Lord died and rose from the dead.”

Thomas became a saint because of his sincerity and courage. He did not understand at the start, but once he understood, once it was clear in his mind and heart, he went all the way – even unto death – in following our Lord.

More often it is our genuine doubts about our faith or the doctrines of our religion that encourage us to study more and thus grow in our faith. This will naturally lead us to a personal encounter with Jesus through prayer, study of the Word of God, and frequenting of the sacraments. If have doubt in your faith remember the words of our Lord, “ask and you shall receive.”

However, we must never forget that our faith is not our own doing, but a gift from God. Hence we need to increase our faith every day by prayer, by sharing our faith with our children, our families and our neighbors, so that we may join St. Thomas in his Easter proclamation: “My Lord and my God”.

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Readings: Fr tony's homily & Bishop Soc