Another Goodbye

My tita Emma has gone to our Lord's Kingdom today. I'm struggling hard to put into words the grief of our family. God bless her soul.

Sana

Gabi na naman. Lumipas na naman ang isang araw sa talaan ng istorya ng buhay. Bukas magsisimulang muli ang bagong araw na nakalaan para bawat isa, sa lahat ng tao sa buong panig ng daigdig. Bukas ay panibagong araw na naman ng pagtatanong, pagbabakasakali at pagpupunyagi na sana ay makamit ng minimithing pangarap. Nakakapagod ngunit paulit-ulit na umaasa na minsa'y makakamit din nating bawat Pilipino ang inaasam na pag-unlad, paglaya sa kamang-mangan at karukhaan, at pagtawid sa bagong landas bilang bagong Pilipinas para sa bagong Pilipino.

Ngayon ay unti-unti tumitimo sa aking puso ang lungkot sapagkat tayong mga Pinoy ngayon ay watak-watak. Sumisidhi ang dibisyon sa ating pag-iral bilang mamamayang Pilipino. Hindi ko naman dati pinapansing lubusan ang kalagayan ng ating bansa, subalit ngayon unti-unting nanunuot ang aking pagka-Pilipino. Apektado din pala ako ng mga nangyayari sa bansang aking iniwan (hindi ko pala siya maaring iwanan).

Maraming beses na may lumapit sa akin na hindi Pilipino wika niya'y, "Alam mo lagi kong ipinagdasal ang iyong bansa lalo na si Gloria." Sa isang pagkakataon naman ay isang Australyano ang napahayag ng damdamin at parang nakikidalamhati sa akin, "Nabalitaan ko ang nangyayari sa Pilipinas." Para ba akong namatayan at siya ay nakikiramay.

Ano ang magagawa ko? Marami akong tanong, ngunit ayokong magsalita, ayokong magmukhang pulitiko na kunwari'y alam ang lahat ng kasagutan sa lahat ng ating problema.

Dalangin ko na sana, sana naman, ay mapanibago ang sistema ng ating pagmumuhay. Hindi sa pagtuturuan ng pagkakamali ng isa kundi sa pag-amin sa sariling pagkukulang.

Ang bayang Pilipinas ay bayan ng Diyos, magkaisa nawa'y ang bawat Pilipino sa panalangin, mamayani nawa ang pag-mamahalan at pagkakaisa at mag-alay nawa tayo ng sariling sakripisyo para sa ikagiginhawa ng ating naghihirap na kababayan.

Sana'y isabuhay ko ang mga sinabi ko, kahit ngayon ay gabi na naman.

Tsinoy

I had the privilege of meeting today a Filipino intellectual by the name of Teresita Ang See. I attended this afternoon her forum discussion at La Trobe University, city campus, together with six Filipino scholars and an Australian who seems to know more about the Philippines than I do. Teresista Ang See is a professor in Ateneo de Manila University, chairperson of Crusade Action Against Crime, founding president of Kaisa Para sa Kaunlaran (a non-government organization in the Philippines started in 1971). There are so many other important details about Teresita but what struck me most was the fact that she is one of the 27 Filipino nominees for Nobel Prize.

It is hard for me to reiterate what she has discussed in the forum today (as I said she is intellectual, I am not!). But here is the outline of those things that I can still remember and find interesting.

• Chinese Diaspora in the Philippines is unique in Asia
• There was a large scale of Filipino-Chinese persecution, harassment and mass massacres inflicted by the Spaniards. The Spaniards feared and mistrusted them.
• There were Chinese individuals who played important role during the revolution against Spanish rule. (Jose Ignacio Paua was a pure blooded Chinese who enlisted with Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo’s army; he won many battles and was among the signatories to the Biak na Bato constitution.
• There is only 1.2% of Filipino-Chinese in the Philippines. The census is based on ethnical Chinese who at least understand Chinese language, enrolled in Chinese schools, retaining Chinese tradition.
• Filipino-Chinese in the Philippines is the smallest Chinese community in Asia.
• Chinese in the Philippines speak Hokien, they came from Fukien, China.
• The new generation of Filipino-Chinese speak Tagalog as their first language, English as second, Hokien third and Mandarin as third language among others.
• Filipino-Chinese prefer to be called “Tsinoy” it is more politically correct because the usual term “Instik” is derogatory against them. “Instik” means an old Chinese man. “Instik beho tulo laway” is a mockery of an old China man whose saliva is drooling in his mouth because he had not enough sleep because of he was working so hard day and night.
• Tsinoy is the most vulnerable sector in the Philippines. They have no weapon against the very organized kidnappings.
• Many Chinese in the Philippines practiced religious syncretism, the unique product of Catholic and Buddhist intermarriage.
• Reverse migration: Before the Chinese people came in the Philippines barefooted with full of hopes and determinations to find a better in the country. Now, it is sad that Filipinos are leaving the country to find a land of greener pasture abroad.
• There are more wealthy Filipinos than the Tsinoys. The wealth of the Tsinoys are well publicized because they own the malls, commercial buildings, products, etc. but the not strategic property which run the business, lifestyle and economy of the country.
• Most of the enormous wealth of the elite Filipinos are non-creative.

Teresita Ang See has established Bahay Tsinoy (A Museum of the Chinese in the Philippines Life), located at Anda corner Cabildo Streets in Intramuros.

Tara na Biyahe tayo! Wow Philippines! (Jolina)

Suddenly Nurse

On my way home after attending Sunday Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, I came across a group of people carrying bags of different sizes and colour. I wondered where these people came from; they might have attended a seminar or something. I noticed names of medical institutions and hospitals printed on their bags. I found the answer to my query as I passed Melbourne Exhibition building, there I saw a large sign “Nursing Expo”. “Oh, so that it was,” I said to myself. But the sign next to it really attracted my attention like a powerful magnet, it says, “Free Admission”.

So, I went inside this historical building (Melbourne Exhibition is the place where the Parliament of Australia was signed in 1901, just like the Barasoain Church in the Philippines) and I squeezed myself into an enormous crowd of people (mostly young beautiful female nurses! That’s what you get after attending Mass). How nice would it be to see such a big crowd of people inside St. Patrick’s Cathedral participating in the Eucharist. Anyway, I found myself inside this building wandering around and enthralled by massive flow of people and also by the different booths of medical schools from all over Australia, health care institutions and hospitals. Most of the people there were fresh nursing graduates or students looking for career opportunities in medical field. This was exactly a different world for me.

What other things that also fascinated my attention were the free bags, pens, candies and stuffs which the people from the booths were giving away. You could easily feel an atmosphere of competition amongst these medical schools or healthcare institutions. Suddenly, a friendly lady approached me and asked, “Are you interested in Royal Children’s Hospital?” I said yes without even thinking. “So are you a fresh graduate?” I said yes again (which I really am). “Are you an overseas student?” I nodded my head very politely as I didn’t know what to say. “Why don’t you take this bag, it has all the information you need. We have an Open Day on July 9 at Royal Children’s Hospital at 1:00 pm. There will be hospital tours, interviews, blah, blah.” She was a lovely lady and I reckoned she would be a very good sales person. I didn’t bother telling her that I really have nothing to do about nursing or whatsoever as I didn’t want to disappoint her. I was afraid she might get my free bag back!

Please read the information I’ve got from the “Nursing Expo”. They might be helpful if you happen to be a nurse and reading this blog.

Healthcareseek.com.au Australia’s # 1 job for healthcare
jobs
www.rch.org.au/MSON For further enquiries in Royal Children’s Hospital. Refer to this website for current updates and application requirements.
www.research.cqu.edu.au Central Queensland University
www.nursingreview.com.au Australia’s Independent Voice of Nursin
www.nursesspecialists.com.au Victorian Nurse Specialists
www.NurseCentral.com.au Where Nurses Meet!
www.aicd.qld.edu.au Australian Institute for a Care Development
www.rcna.org.au Australian Mentor Centre
www.lrh.com.au Latrobe Regional Hospital
www.southernhealth.com.au Mental Health Nurses
www.cdu.edu.au Charles Darwin University
www.nursesworldwide.com.au Jobs for Nurses in all nursing specialities! Aged Care, Acute and Rehab.
www.latrobe.edu.au/nursing La Trobe University
www.phcn.vic.gov.au Peninsula Health (opportunities for full and part time Midwives)
www.hlth.qut.edu.au/nrs Postgrad nurising
www.xacom.com.au I-Care Nurse Call

I’ve got some more details but I feel getting sick now. I think I need a nurse...

Called Even If Empty

I attended last Friday evening the Ordination Mass of Fr. Peter-John Neviandt. His ordination to the priesthood was a very special occasion for him and his own family, and indeed for the Diocese of Sandhurst, where he is going to work. Bishop Joe Grech was the main celebrant. He gave a powerful homily transpiring the important role of the priest in our society today. He mentioned that God has a particular plan for each and one of whether we are married person, single, lay, religious or priest. The plan of God for Peter-John (now a priest) is to represent Christ and be an ‘another-Christ’ for the people of God. He has been chosen by God to serve, to proclaim, and to continue the works of Jesus.

I tried to listen attentively to the words of Bishop Grech, and I felt a mixture of feelings of anxiety, fear, happiness, excitement and unworthiness. But the last one has overwhelmed me more than all others. I felt so unworthy being called by God. During the ordination ceremony I remembered my sins, my weaknesses, my bad decisions, my failures… How can I serve God and his people when my unworthiness weighs me down?

I wanted to say sorry and express my grief and sorrow.

I always say this prayer to Christ, through his priest, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
In choosing to do wrong in
failing to do good,
I have sinned against you whom I should love above all
things.
I firmly intend to penance,
to sin no more,
and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.
Our Saviour Jesus Christ
suffered and died for us.
In his name, my God have mercy. Amen.

---
The ordination for the diaconate of this awful servant is on 8 October this year.

Bloopers

Kanina naglakad kami ni Odra para maghanap ng murang makakainan, 1:30pm na nun (2:55 pm na ngayon) kaya tabingi na ang tingin ko sa kalsada, as usual ang usapan namin ay tungkol sa Pinas, wala ng iba pa. Siyempre understood na intellectual lagi ang usapan namin.
Tanong ni Odra sa akin na parang nababagabag ang damdamin: "Bakit kaya may mga taong mali-mali? Eh wala namang taong tama-tama." Nabagabag din ako. Gusto kong maiyak...

***
Umiyak. Napatunayan ko na iyakin pala talaga ako pag mag-isa lang akong nanunuod ng tv o pag-nagbabasa ako ng malungkot na novel. Last Tuesday nasa bahay ako ng ate Marsha ko; sinusulit ang Filipino Channel nila at ang kanilang bagong plasma widescreen tv. Late na ako nagising nung umaga na iyon dahil late na ako natulog (simple logic). Kakain na sana ako nang bigla kong maalala na libing nga pala ni Cardinal Jaime Sin ngayong umaga. Dali-dali kong binuksan ko ang tv, sakto live coverage ang funeral rites ni Cardinal sa ANC!

I-soshorcut ko na ang kwento... Nang makita ko palang ang dami ng tao sa labas ng Manila Cathedral ay nalungkot na ako, iba talaga ang dating. Maalam akong nakinig sa homily ni Bishop Villegas kahit na alam ko na isang kontinente ang layo ko sa Pinas. Gayunpaman, ramdam na ramdam ko ang atmosphere of grief and sadness by the lost of own prelate. Binanggit ni Bishop Soc na ang huling pananalita daw ni Cardinal Sin sa kanyang deathbed ay "Vamos (Let us go)". Ang salitang "vamos" ay laging sinasabi ni Cardinal nung kalakasan pa niya bilang paanyaya; "vamos a Edsa", "vamos a Luneta", "vamos a comer"...etc. "As we walked through the uncertainties of life, he came with us everytime," patuloy ni Bishop Soc. "Vamos" ang muling sambit ni Cardinal..."but did not take anyone with him." Sa puntong ito nag-cracked ang boses ni Bishop Soc at pilit pinipigil ang kanyang emotion sa pag-iyak. At dito sa pagkakataong ito ako naiyak muli, ang huli ko'y nuong araw ng libing ni Pope John Paul II.

Sa labas ng Manila Cathedral ipinokus ng kamera ang mga taong hawak-kamay habang kumanta ng Ama Namin. Apat na estudyanteng babae ang magkakawak ang kamay. Iyon lang at tumulo ang luha ko... Ang larawan ng pagdalamhati ni Dr. Ramon Sin (kapatid ni Cardinal) ay nagpaiyak muli sa akin. Kapansin pansin na habang ibababa ng sa crypt ang mga labi ni Cardinal Sin ay humahagulgol si Bishop Soc na parang bata. Nagaya ako sa kanyan ng kaunti. Nakakaantig din ng emosyon kahit na yung mga simpleng bagay na nakita ko tulad ng mga kalapating puti na sabay sabay na pinakawalan, mga taong nakaluhod, kanta ng choir, mga madre, mga umattend na goverment officials, iyong pag-ulan pagkatapos libing, atbp. Simple lang pero powerful ang dating para sa akin-- Pilipino kasi ako. Marami mga simpleng bagay sa Pilipinas na ngayon ko lang na-aappreciate kung kelan nasa ibang bansa na ako.

At isa na rin sa mga dahilan kaya madaling nahulog ang emosyon ko ay siguro dahil sa pakiramdam ko parang nanduon ako mismo sa loob ng Manila Cathedral (salamat sa widescreen plasma tv ng ate Marsha ko. Bili na rin kayo!). Ilan sa mga personal kong kakilala ay nakita ko sa tv ay sina Fr. Aries Reyes, Bishop Tirona, Bishop Alamario at pari na nagmisa sa Megamall nung magsimba ako dun last January.

Ilang linggo bago mamatay si Cardinal Sin ay paulit-ulit kong pinapanuod ang biography niya (A Guide to: Orginal Sin. Pari, Pilipino, Propeta) at binabasa ko naman ang libro ni Bishop Socrates Villegas (Always Jesus, Only Jesus). Fresh pa rin sa ala-ala ko nung dumalaw ako sa House of Sin nung January 2003 kasama ang Rector at Tito ko. Very accomodating at hospitable si Cardinal Sin kahit na may sakit na siya nuon. Hindi ko makakalimutan pinainom pa niya kami ng masarap at mainit na cappucino. End of story.

****
Nasaan ang bloopers? Kahapon ng gabi ay nag-offer ang Archdiocese of Melbourne at Filipino Community ng Misa para sa kaluluwa ni Cardinal Sin. Pagpasok ko sa car park ay nakita ko namataan ko ang mag-asawang Pilipino sa loob ng kotse, kaibigan ko sila na taga Deer Park. Excited ako ng makita sila. Hangos akong lumapit, nagmano, at masayang nakipagkumustahan. "Tita kumusta na po? Ay, buti naman po at nakarating kayo." "Uy, Tito kumusta na po, batang bata po tayo ngayon ah." (normally may bigote siya)

Nag-simula na ang Misa. Mula sa altar napansin ko ang dalawang mag-asawang binati ko kanina. Habang tinititigan ko sila narealised ko na hindi pala sila yung couple na kaibigan ko na taga Deer Park. Kamukha lang pala! Nung mga sandali na iyon gusto ko na lang na maging bula na biglang mawawala sa kinatatayuan ko. Pilit ko itong kinakalimutan pero habang kinakalimutan ko lalo ko lang naalala. Hanggang ngayon kino-convince ko pa ang sarili ko na panagip lang yun!

Pahiram ng expression na lagi kong nababasa mula Pinas -- "wakoko":(

*****
Maglilipat na nga pala ako ng blog napansin ko kasi na pag-ina-update ko ang blogs ko ay automatic na nag-papadala ang friendster ng blogs announcement sa lahat ng contacts ko. Kaya nag-evacuate na ako ng mga entries ko sa http://www.tukayo.blogspot.com/

******
Nakakahiya, may ilang nagsabi sa akin na binabasa daw nila ang blogs ko, at may Australian pa na nagrerequest na isulat ko daw sa Ingles ang mga entries ko dahil hindi niya naiintindihan ang Tagalog. Muli hihiramin ko expression ng ilang Pilipino ngayon tulad ng kapatid kong si Cune, "wakoko":(

Silence in Eucharistic Adoration

(This is a short talk I gave this evening in St. Peter's Parish in Clayton)

An American tourist hired a driver in Italy to show her the country. On the first afternoon out, the driver began to identify some of the antiquities and she said arrogantly, “I hired you to drive for me, not to talk to me.”

The driver remained quiet for the rest of the week. When he presented his bill, there was one item the lady did not understand.

“That’s for keeping quiet,” the driver said. “I don’t like doing it, but when I do, Signora, I have to charge.”

Like the Italian driver in the story we sometimes find it hard to remain quiet. Sometimes we find silence a frightening and uncomfortable experience. So we turn the radio on or make a telephone call just to break the silence.

But like Jesus who went up to the mountains and desolate places to be alone in prayer, we also need to distance ourselves from the distractions of the world and our noisy cultures. Jesus teaches us that constant prayer, reflection and silence are vital for our spiritual growth as Christians.

I am going to talk about the importance of silence in Eucharistic Adoration. Silence and contemplation are our response to this mind-blowing reality of Christ’s presence in the Eucharist. Don’t you know that we also receive payment, like the Italian driver, just for being quiet before the Blessed Sacrament?

Sense of Presence

First silence allows us to have a sense of the presence of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. When we are quiet and still our attention to God becomes greater and much more focused than if we are thinking of other things.

Yesterday I went to St. Francis’ Church in the city to pray and to ask for guidance about what I would say tonight. As I knelt down looking at the Blessed Sacrament on the altar I said to Jesus, “Lord please tell me what it means to have a sense of your presence if I remain quiet.” So I tried to concentrate in silence as much as I could and I started to realise that Jesus’ body, blood, soul and divinity were really there inside the monstrance.

I felt so relieved but not for long. There was this young Asian lady sitting not far from me who started to talk to her friend on the phone. She said, “Oh, I am here inside St. Francis Church…don’t worry it’s alright...hey how are you…no, it’s alright.” I talked to her in my mind, “It’s alright for you to speak to your friend inside the Church. But it’s not ok for us! Can’t you see us praying?”

I completely lost my attention to the Lord because of this girl. Then I realised that God has just taught me the importance of silence to have a sense of his presence.

Intimacy

Secondly our response to God in silence draws us into intimacy with him in contemplation. As we enter into silence before the Blessed Sacrament we intimately enter into a deep relationship with Christ.

Sometimes when we pray we run out of words and we don’t know exactly what to say. It seems that we are just wasting our time and not praying at all. But that is not true! Jesus who is truly present in the Blessed Sacrament is very interested about us even when we sometimes mumble or don’t know what to say.

Intimacy means having a close relationship with the Lord even in silence. I think this is very true even in our human relationships. When we know someone intimately, for example, our own mother, we can instantly judge her feelings simply by looking at her eyes or listening to the sound of her voice.

Contemplation is a gaze of faith, fixed on Jesus. St. John Marie Vianney described his prayer before the Blessed Sacrament in a very simple words, he said, “I look at him and he looks at me.”

Listening

Spending time in silence before the Blessed Sacrament enables us to listen or hear more clearly the voice of God who is mysteriously working in our lives. We often hear the saying “God speaks in silence.” I think the great challenge for all of us today is to find a peaceful quiet place where we can sit down and listen to God.

Silence is a rare thing in our life. We are surrounded by televisions, radios, cars, fire alarms (especially if you live in the seminary:). Even in the Church, we hear people chatting, mobile phones and other forms of distraction.

But we listen to the voice of God not only in external silence, even though that is very important; God speaks to us more intimately in the silence of our hearts. I remember the homily of a Filipino priest. He said, “to listen deeply is to listen using not our ears but using our hearts.” Very interestingly he explained, “If you cut your two ears and put them together, a heart shaped is formed. In the middle of the word heart is ‘ear’ and the first four letters of the word heart form the word ‘hear.’"

Thus, when we spend time in silence before the Blessed Sacrament, we listen and wait attentively to what God is going to say to us, not through our ears, but really with our hearts.

Emptiness

Silence before the Blessed Sacrament brings us emptiness. But this emptiness is not something negative. Interior silence before the Lord creates more space in our hearts so that his Spirit can fill us up with his love, mercy and healing.

As we enter into contemplation we leave not only the hustle and bustle of the outside world, but we also leave behind our pride, selfishness, lust and complacency, we empty ourselves of all the negative things that blocked up the movement of the Holy Spirit in our lives. So in front of the Blessed Sacrament we let ourselves be like an empty bucket in order that our Lord may graciously pour out the love, mercy and healing we all need.

John the Baptist says it beautifully, “He must increase, but I must decrease." [John 3:30]

Nourishment

We need silence in order to come close to our true selves and to God. The silence of Eucharistic Adoration allows us to meditate on the words of Jesus. “I am the bread of life.” Entering silence helps us to recognise Jesus as the nourishment of our soul. His flesh is our daily food and sustenance. “What material food produces in our bodily life, Holy Communion wonderfully achieves in our spiritual life. Communion with the flesh of Christ preserves, increases and renews the life of grace we received at Baptism. Eucharistic Communion is the bread for our pilgrimage until the moment of death.”

Peter Ferwerda mentioned in his talk yesterday the importance of spending an hour before the Blessed Sacrament no matter how busy we are because God in his mysterious silence can give us fulfillment and satisfy our inner hunger. Spending time before the Blessed Sacrament, in prayer and devotion, is spending time before the living God.

Confidence

The purpose of adoration is to highlight the presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist.

If we really believe that the Jesus is in the Blessed Sacrament, then we can speak to him full of confidence and certainty. If Jesus is really there present, in the fullness of his humanity and divinity, then we can share our joys with him; and we can cry all our tears to him; we abandon our hopes and fears, our worries, family problems, financial difficulties, health problems into his hands.Inasmuch as we believe in the Presence of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament we also trust his invitation: "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” [Mt 11:28-30]

Silence in Eucharistic adoration is an act of confidence in God. In front of the Blessed Sacrament, we see ourselves like little children sleeping peacefully within the arms of the Father.

Exaltation

The sign of “silence” in a hospital shields the quiet mysterious knitting up of bodies and nerves. In a library, “silence” whispers of the deep communion of mind with mind, the calm flowering of thought. Silence before the Blessed Sacrament takes us to exaltation or adoration of the Lord. Thus silence does speak of healing, of stillness and of the distilling of wisdom and the wonder of God’s glory.

*******

As you may notice we form the word “SILENCE.” Let us always remember that silence in Eucharistic Adoration gives us “a Sense of presence”, “Intimacy”, “Listening”, “Emptiness”, “Nourishment”, “Confidence” and “Exaltation.”

*******

Prayer to the Heart of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament

“O heart of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, overflowing with gentleness, tenderness and charity. My sweet Lord, Saviour and Spouse let me lay at your sacred feet my daily share of joys, struggles and sorrows, my hopes and fears. And in the stillness of your sanctuary do tenderly gather them into your Sacred Heart. Solace my doubts, calm my fears. And grant that day by day I may become more united to you. Jesus, I trust in you. Amen.”

Goodbye Cardinal Sin

Benedict XVI said he was "deeply saddened" by the death of Cardinal Jaime Sin, the retired archbishop of Manila who died at the age of 76.

The Pope relayed his sentiments in a message of sympathy to the faithful of the Archdiocese of Manila, which the Philippine cardinal headed for almost three decades. The archdiocese noted that Cardinal Sin has been described as "patriot and prophet."

In a telegram to the prelate's successor, Archbishop Gaudencio Rosales, the Holy Father recalled "with gratitude Cardinal Sin's unfailing commitment to the spread of the Gospel and to the promotion of the dignity, common good, and national unity of the Philippine people."

"I join you in praying that God our merciful Father will grant him the reward of his labors and welcome his noble soul into the joy and peace of his eternal Kingdom," said Benedict XVI. He imparted his apostolic blessing to those gathered in Manila for a Mass for the cardinal's eternal rest.

According to the Archdiocese of Manila, the cardinal was hospitalized on Sunday and succumbed today to multiple organ failure related to sepsis.

His delicate state of health -- he suffered from kidney problems and diabetes -- had prevented him from taking part in the conclave that elected Benedict XVI.

With his death, the College of Cardinals now numbers 181 members, including 115 electors.

Evangelizer and pastor

One of 16 siblings, Jaime Lachica Sin was born in New Washington, in the Diocese of Kalibo, on Aug. 31, 1928. He was educated in the faith by his mother, a woman of great religiosity who converted her husband to the Catholic faith before their marriage.

In 1941 he entered the Minor Seminar of St. Vincent Ferrer in Jaro, where he stayed for only a few months as the War of the Pacific and the Japanese occupation of the Philippines forced him to seek refuge with his family in the mountains for three years.

When he returned there as a priest -- he was ordained April 3, 1954 -- his first pastoral endeavor was to visit each one of the hundreds of small widespread parishes and to inspire vocations for the new St. Pius X Seminary.

At the end of this work, which lasted three years and bore considerable fruit, he was appointed rector of the seminary in 1957. He served there for 10 years as principal, dean of studies, professor and diocesan consultant.

He was consecrated bishop at age 38 on March 18, 1967, and named auxiliary of Jaro and eventually coadjutor with the right of succession. He succeeded the archbishop of Jaro in 1972, when he was 44.

Pope Paul VI named him archbishop of Manila on Jan. 21, 1974, where he pursued his pastoral work courageously despite the dangers and difficulties of the country's situation. The Pope elevated him to cardinal two years later.

He was the youngest member of the Philippine bishops' conference, over which he presided from 1977 to 1981.

Helped topple 2 presidents

He received Pope John Paul II twice in his pastoral visits to the Philippines -- in 1981 and 1995. In the second apostolic trip, to close World Youth Day, 4 million faithful attended the Mass in Rizal Park in Manila.

The cardinal was a great defender of democracy in the Philippines and of peaceful political transition, becoming famous for his commitment to the Filipinos against the dictatorship of President Ferdinand Marcos and the corruption of the Estrada government.

In 1986 he headed peaceful protests which led to the fall of President Marcos. He played the same role in 2001 when he appealed to the people to put an end to the corrupt government of Joseph Estrada. The AsiaNews agency highlighted the cardinal's capacity to have people follow him, which won him the nickname of "divine commander in chief."

After his retirement in September 2003, Cardinal Sin gave his support to the current president, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.

Arroyo, lamenting his demise, described him as a "blessed man who never failed to unite Filipinos during the most crucial battles against tyranny and evil." She declared seven days of national mourning for the cardinal.

Cardinal Sin insisted that religion had a role to play in the affairs of the state, a conviction he summed up at his retirement ceremony: "My duty is to put Christ in politics. Politics without Christ is the greatest scourge of the nation."

The cardinal also organized protests against the state's attempt to curb population growth.

"A brother"

Bishop Socrates Villegas of Balanga, the cardinal's longtime private secretary, and Father Rufino Sescon Jr., his present secretary, were with him at the time of his death.

According to the Communications Office of the Archdiocese of Manila, Archbishop Rosales visited Cardinal Sin on Monday afternoon. The archbishop said the cardinal received the sacrament of the anointing of the sick. The prelate said he gave him a "farewell blessing."

With Cardinal Sin's death, the bishops of the Philippines have lost "a friend and a brother," said Archbishop Fernando Capalla of Davao, president of the country's episcopal conference, on behalf of all its members.

"Cardinal Sin was a great man, a great Filipino, a great prince of the Church," wrote Archbishop Capalla in a statement. "We are saddened that he left us, but we rejoice that he has entered into Real Life -- one that never ends."

Cardinal Sin's mortal remains were taken to the Cathedral of Manila, where he will lie in state until his burial, tentatively scheduled for June 28.

Archbishop Rosales presided over the first Mass for his eternal repose together with about 100 priests and numerous faithful, including former President Corazon Aquino.

source: zenit.org

Mixed Entry

Sa wakas natapos na rin ang exams! 11:am to be exact. Matapos ang ilang linggong pag-cacram ng mga assignments, revisions at pagrereview kahit na ilang minuto na lang exam na ( sa ganitong situwasyon ako biglang gumagawa ng instant resolution, sasabihin ko sa sarili ko na ito na talaga ang last, magiging on time na ako sa next time. Para na akong politician na nangangako sa taong bayan bago mag-election).

Magaan ang feeling kapag napagdaanan mo rin sa wakas ang bagay ni sa isip ay ayaw mong gawin pero no choice ka. Ngayong tapos na ang first term ay para may naririnig akong background music sa isip ko. Kanta ito ng Eraserheads na di gaanong sumikat: Sa wakas ay nakita ko na ang aking hinahanap sa wakas ay nakuha ko na ang aking hinahangad kay tagal ko ng naghintay at nagsunog ng kilay ngayon ay masasabi ko na ang matamis na tagumpay. Basta okay ang kanta na ito para sa akin...lalo na kung adik ka:)

Dahil nga natapos nang maluwalhati ang examination week namin. Binigyan ko ng reward ang sarili ko. Ititrit, ulet, itinrit, isa pa, itinirit, (yung bang "inilibre" o sa English "to treat") iyon, inilibre ko ang sarili ko na manuod ng sine. Matagal ko ng gustong panuorin ang Star Wars Episode III. Matagal na panahon na din ang lumipas na di kami nagkikita ni Natalie Portman. Maganda ang pagkagawa ng pelikula at lalo na ang computer graphics nito para talagang totoo. Ang galing din ng twist ng story. Kahanga-hanga si George Lucas. Siguro isa siyang Jedi.
Two-weeks ko ng pinapanuod ang Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Napanuod ko na ito dati pa pero nakalimutan ko talaga ang lahat ng nangyari kaya parang first time ko palang ito pinapanuod ngayon. Ito na yata ang pinakamatagal na pelikula na hindi ko matapos-tapos. 10-15mins lang ang viewing time ko at every other day pa. Depende sa availability ko. Kaya para na rin akong nanunuod ng soap opera ni Marimar. Suspense ito at talagang martial arts, bakbakan ika nga. Isa pa maganda pa yung isang bidang babae si Jen. Minsan pinapatay ko kaagad ang dvd pag-alam ko na maganda ang susunod na scene para may suspense. Next week ko na uli siya itutuloy siguro 15 minutes na lang tapos na. Kakaexcite!

Two weeks ko ding binasa ang libro ni Nick Joaquin na pinamagatang "Cave and Shadows." Tungkol ito sa cave..at sa shadows. Unpredictable din ang twist sa huli ng istorya at parang nanunood ako ng pelikula sa galing magsulat ni Nick Joaquin. Kaya nga siya nahirang na National Artist for Literature. Lahat ng libro, essays at poetry niya ay sa wikang Ingles. Napakalaki ng contribution niya sa Philippine Literature in English kaya naman malaking kawalan ang pagkamatay niya last year. Nakakalungkot isipin kung hindi siya kilala ng mga Pilipinong estudyante ngayon. Susunod kong basahin ay "The Woman Who Had Two Navels" na isinulat niya nuong 1991. Sana makuha ko rin ang skills niya sa pagsusulat pero malabo iyon!
Nabasa ko ang ilang jokes tungkol sa wiretapped conversations 'daw' ni GMA at Garcillano. Ang bilis talagang mag-isip ng mga Pinoy updated kaagad ang jokes at may 'Hello garci" ringing tone pa daw! Nakuha ko ito sa pcij na nakalink sa blog ni Cyril.

Latest news update: Iggy Arroyo is now practicing the voice of GMA. A longer version: News: Nakatakdang aminin ni Iggy Arroyo na siya ang babaeng boses sa tape. Napabalitang bumalik siya sa kanyang bayan para pag-aralan gayahin ang boses ni gma.
Woman: Garci, dy, pasahan mo naman ako ng load, este, ng vote….
==
Garci: Hindi ako nagtatago noh! Nakikipag-phonepal ako kay Saddam!
===
Opposition: Why can’t GMA come out and say ‘i’m not the ma’am in the tape’?
Malacañang: She doesn’t want to lie.
===
Ang mga nangyayari sa ating bansa parang teleserye:
Yung jueteng scandal ang title "Mga anak ng jueteng."
Yun namang gloriagate scandal "Tap si glo!"
===
Babae: Lahat ng mga Arroyo ay magnanakaw.
Lalaki: Ang sakit mo namang magsalita.
Babae: Bakit? Isa ka ba sa mga Arroyo?
Lalaki: Hindi. Magnanakaw ako!
===
Aba naman Gloria napupuno ka ng grasya.Ang kayamanan ng tao ay sumaiyo na,Bukod ka pinagpala sa babaeng lahat.Pinagpala rin ang iyong angkan. Wala nang natira saAMEN.
===
Q: What special feature is added in the cellphones of Mike and Mikey Arroyo?
A: Call Jueteng.
Ssssshhhhh! Naka-wire tap, si Gary ito huh
Yun lang. Happy holidays to me! But not really. May parish mission kaming senior year next week sa St. Peter's Parish, Clayton. I will be speaking about silence in the Eucharistic Adoration. I pray that this activity will be a successful one. Sana.

Big hands

A long time ago, when I was little, I used to come along with my mother every Sunday to the town market to buy our week’s supply of food. I really enjoyed the atmosphere at the market – vendor shouting out loud advertising their goods, big and small fish, butchered animals (I’m weird!), different kinds of vegetables, etc. There was always a big crowd in the market so that my mother was very mindful of me. It is so nice to remember how mother would hold my little hand very tightly so I would not get lost from her sight.

In my spiritual journey, God is like my mother who was leading me and holding my hands firmly so I would not get lost in the market place. There are many things in this world that excite my curiosity, and if God would let go me from his firm hold, I might escape to wander and explore the world, go to places I would love to go, and then get lost in end. In trying to search God’s will, there many are times I find his ways too difficult to understand and find them very different to what I want. But I said to my self, "I have no choice but follow Him" for I know I will just place myself into danger by going on my own.

St. Bonaventure in his writing seems to be giving me a warning that, “unless accompanied by divine aid” I will not come to the final end of my soul’s journey-- a perfect place of eternal peace. This is the stage in which the disturbances of my “market place” can no longer exist because in this stage the illumination of God’s presence is so immense that I will never get lost again forever.

I pray for God’s “grace not instruction, desire not understanding,” so my searching will become a soul’s journey of prayer and contemplation with Jesus Christ.

Independence Day

I am not very good in history but I am aware that today is the 107th anniversary of Philippine Independence from the bondage of Spanish colonization. It was in 1898 when Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo, the first President of the Philippine Republic, declared the country’s liberation from the shackles of foreign rulers. This is the only detail I can give as I do not want to mislead people, I am afraid to present false facts and figures about today's historical celebration. But I do remember someone who argued that the real independence of the Philippines was not its liberty from the Spaniards. It is rather when the country became independent from the Americans that the Philippines gained its real freedom and self-governance. I would say the demise of Japanese occupation in the Philippines although brief but cruel, can be seen as well as a celebration of independence.
Philippine history sometimes left us good humour. How interesting it was for Filipinos to live for 300 long years inside a Spanish convent and then 40 years in American Hollywood! (Plus 4 years with the ancestors of Japanese anime!)
Today I would like look at bigger picture of the dark history of Spanish colonization. History tells us that there were many good things thrived out from bad circumstances, or should I say because God is powerful that he can make good things out of evil. The “good” that I am talking about is the Christianization of the Philippines. Thanks to the Spanish missionaries who diligently converted my ancestors to Christianity.
One of the Spanish saints that became so intimately related to the Filipinos is St. John of the Cross. St. John was a small man ( not as short as 'Minime' though!) with a big heart, who was longing for intimacy and love for God along with the poorest people at his time. His spirituality is in fact the traditional imagery of Filipino poverty and meekness. His figure appears as an old Filipino farmer wearing a salakot (a hat made of nipa leaves), bare-footed and wearing worn-out clothes by the name of Juan de la Cruz. Juan de la Cruz is a common baptismal name amongst Filipino male. The "Cruz" in his name represents many impoverished Filipinos who are carrying the cross of all sort of sufferings. They those Filipinos who are the victims of the corrupt government, natural disasters, children who were deprived of education, sick people and the poverty of the country as a whole. This is the dark night of human suffering and spiritual longing which St. John of the Cross himself had experienced.
But in this darkness, we can find God’s gentle hand purifying the souls: “clearing away the debris of attachment and making room for the divine light.” St. John’s spiritual courage and endurance in suffering, is what really make the Filipino to be associated with him. Despite of material deprivations, Filipinos are happy and religious people. Poverty and hunger instead turn them to prayer, hope and confidence and greater communion to God. Inspired by the spiritual longing of San Juan dela Cruz in midst of the dark night, he said, “I abandoned and forgot myself, laying my face on my Beloved.”
Now, I look at myself in Australia, one of the richest countries in the world, I could not imagine why there are many cases of suicide among young people in this beautiful and affluent country? I do not know the answer. Perhaps, if I examine my own self and become more aware about my own spiritual poverty then I will begin to understand.
But one thing I am sure of, it is not the country or nation alone that needs liberty. Whatever our nationality or whatever country we may be, we all need freedom and liberty, most of all from our sins that stop to be good human persons that God is are calling us to be.
May we all live neither in Spanish convent nor in the grandeur of Hollywood and Disneyland but may we find ourselves in the God’s Heavenly Kingdom – a place where we can be truly free.

Midyear

June na pala..middle of year 2005...kanina dami kong ideas ngayon di ko maisip kung ano isusulat for this entry...hehe...midyear na.

Someone's Birthday

Today is her birthday.

It seems it’s only yesterday when I saw her for the very first time. That was already thirteen years ago. I was in 2nd year high school and she was in first year. Oh, it’s been a long time now…she was only 13 then… I could still remember her face, her dress, her long straight black hair, her simplicity, her sweet smile, her friendliness and everything associated with her. I could still remember today how I felt about her… I think I could even write a novel about her, really.

December 1999 was a momentous time of the year and I marked that day as memorable event of life. First, because it was the last time that I have spoken with her though very briefly. And secondly, it was when she introduced me to her husband. She told me she got married in June that year. I firmly shook the hands of her husband. I just realised today – never did I have had the chance to hold even just the tip of her finger. For me she was sacred.
I want to remember her today in my prayers and thank her for I would not be what I am today had I not meet her thirteen years ago.

This is a short journal I wrote in June 2001:

When I was in high school I fell in love for the very first time with a beautiful young girl. I kept this strange feeling for many years until she went to live overseas. I underwent a mixture of feelings of joy and pain in loving her. An experience of joy because love made all things new to myself, in the same way, it created empty spaces in my heart. I suffered incompleteness and disordered emotions because I did not receive any love in return. My spiritual director prayerfully advised me to ask Jesus to let him fill up all the emptiness and heal the pain in my heart for he himself is the greatest of all love.

In my reflection, when people feel unloved and rejected, I believe this can be an opportunity to identify with the Incarnate God who loves us boundlessly but was often rejected. I believe my human imperfections have caused myself to be rejected. But in terms of God’s love there is no reason for his love to be rejected for he created us and gave up his life for us, and through this we have been placed twice in his debt.

I thank God in prayer for the affliction, bitterness and joy as a consequence of loving someone because I learned how to unveil my vulnerability as he did when he became human like us. Most of all, I thank God for his wondrous love for me: for the gift of life, for the gift of vocation, and for the gift of the Church and of the whole human family. May God grant me more blessing and grace so I can love him more than my own efforts of loving him.”

Finding hope

The Philippines was featured in “The Australian” daily last Monday, 23 May 2005. The news entitled “Where jail is a sentence worse than death” is about the horrific condition of prisons in Manila. There are pictures in the broadsheet depicting the desperate situation of my fellow Filipinos crammed into a jail cell literally living like inside a can of sardines where they do not have enough floor space to lie down. The Australian journalist writes about this particular jail in Navotas which was designed to accommodate 80 prisoners but at the last count it held 533 people!

I myself have been in the prison a few times some years ago for pastoral visitation. I saw with my own eyes the dire conditions where the accused murderers, drug addicts, prostitutes and other criminals spend their daily lives (or lifetime for others) as a consequence of their misconduct at the outside world. Prisoners are deprived of their freedom in order to rehabilitate their moral lives but like every human beings they equally deserve to live with human dignity. The inhuman condition of many Filipinos inside the jail is morally unjustifiable.
Until now I still get upset every time I remember that Monday report about my beloved country. It is not just the worsening condition of the prisoners that angers me but the social injustice in the Philippines specifically the widening gap between the rich and the poor. The over crowded prisons in the Philippines is just one of the indications that our economic and social condition do not show any reduction in the poverty. Bakit naghihirap pa rin ang Pilipino? At ano ang magagawa ko?

Facts and figures of the Philippines

• Population: 84 million
• Workforce: 35.7 million. January unemployment rate rose to 11.3 percent, up 0.3 per cent from same time last year
• 36 children a day are jailed in The Philippines and 20 minors are on death row; there are 2100 children 1222 jails
• The country’s debt to revenue ratio is twice as bad as Argentina’s was in 2001 when the South American country defaulted on debt payments
• Child malnutrition rates are higher in The Philippines than in North Korea, says Unicef 33 per cent of the population suffers from hunger Crime rates rose 10 per cent last year
  

Nakakalungkot. Nakakainis...

Death where is your sting?

Death na naman ang topic ko. Kasi last week ko pa iniisip May pa lang ngayon wala pa tayo sa kalagitnaan ng taon, ilang tao na, na kakilala ko na ang namamatay, isama natin ang mga kilalang tao, hindi pa kasama diyan ang mga kakilala ng mga kakilala ko. Ito ang mga kakilala ko na namatay na pagpasok ng taon.(not in order)

1. Daisy David - ahead ako ng one year sa highschool at best friend ng crush ko sa high-school.
2. Angel Andan- kilalang businessman sa Pulilan
3. Tita Perlie- asawa ng pinsan ng Ama ko na taga-Bongabon. Dinalaw pa namin siya
4. Tata Piling- pinsan ng lolo ko. Medyo takot ako sa kanya nuong bata ako kasi medyo duling siya.
5. Pope John Paul II- lahat nakakakilala sa kanya. Nakita ko siya sa Luneta nuong World Day '95
6. Daddy ni Sem. Larry Rustia at kapatid ni Fr. Toti Rustia. Magkausap kami last year December 8, sa open house ng Immaculate Conception Seminary
7. Fr. Paul Jackson, OP.- Dominican na pari na nakilala ko sa nursing home nuong 2002. Pinakita niya sa akin ang Doctoral Thesis niya in Latin na isinulat na sa Roma nuong bata pa siya. Di pa uso ang computer nuon. Inaabot daw siya ng 4am. Minsan tinawanag niya ako habang nakaupo siya sa wheelchair sabi nya (in English), "tignan mo yun madre na iyon, wala siya Doctorate in Theology pero alam niya ipadama ang pag-mamahal ng Diyos sa kanyang kapwa."
8. Ciara Marie Abalos- Anak ni Benhur Abalos, apo ni Comelec Comm. Benjamin Abalos; namatay siya dahil sa e-coli virus. Nabasa ko ang blog niya. Tulad ko nagsusulat din siya blog.
9. Reymundo Punongbayan- dating Director ng PHILVOCS
10. Mrs Tadeo- grade 3 teacher sa Pulilan Central School

Merong pang iba pero di lang maalala sa ngayon.

Nasasaan na kaya sila? Ano ang saysay ng buhay? Para saan ang relasyon natin ngayon? Ano ang mangyayari sa kahuli-hulihang panahon o sa katapusan ng mundo (eschaton)? Eto ang hinanap kong kasagutan sa aking sa seminar paper last week sa Theology of Human Person.

In Christian tradition, eschatology is understood as a belief in the last things when everything in the world will finally reach its fulfillment according to the divine plan of God, who is both the Origin and the End. To develop a deeper understanding of eschatology we cannot ignore the reality of our ‘individual eschatology’ that is the death of every human being, our loved ones, friends and including our own deaths. The inevitability of our own death leaves us with two important questions: How are we going to make sense of the mystery of death? How can we approach the reality of the darkness, the destruction and annihilation that accompanies the experience of death at the end of life?

In his article, “In the End Love,” Gerald O’Collins introduces his experimental essay on the application of love in seeking to understand better the mystery of eschatology (amor qaerens intellectum eschatologicum). O’Collins expresses his discontent about the post-conciliar and modern understanding of the theology of eschatology because the theme of love has apparently been neglected and not given its due importance. Although he admits that his version of rethinking eschatology in the key of love is obviously incomplete, he argues that the theme of love has advantages and could well be adapted and applied to eschatology – the human mystery of death, the life after death and the end of all things.

O’Collins presents eight characteristics of love drawn largely from human and Christian experience. Each aspect of love equally corresponds with a clearer Christian view of eschatology. These characteristics are as follow – the creativity of love; the love as beyond reason; the acceptance and approval of love; the redeeming love; the self-manifestation and self-revelation of love; the reconciliation and unity in love; the joy of love; and the link between the beauty and love. Since the essence of God is love, it is appropriate to anticipate the coming of the eschaton more particularly from the perspective of love. O’Collins describes it best saying, “the final coming of Christ will be nothing more and nothing less than the definitive coming of divine love.”

O’Collins’ theory of “love seeking eschatological understanding” perhaps could be seen by an analyses of a short article “Always Easter” written by Jim Green. Jim is a father who lost his 25 year-old son Dominic from an accident which he describes as a “sudden and violent death.” Jim expresses in his essay the trauma of his son’s death and the depth of the wound that it had left him. He recalls the memories of Dominic when he was still alive, as a young boy, and those important family occasions they shared together. This recollection has brought Jim to raise existential questions regarding the death his beloved son, and ultimately the meaning of the Resurrection. He asks, “Where is Dominic? What is he doing? Whom is he with and is he happy? Most of all, is he all right?” These words obviously are expressions of love and care of a parent to his child. Would the love between a parent and child vanish forever after death? Would the love that we share to other people never make sense at all when we die? What about the love that binds us with our parents, brothers and sisters? What about the love and affection between a man and a woman? Does our human love including its joys and sacrifices will perish at the second coming of our Lord?

The response of O’Collins according to what he has set out in his essay would be that our human love and the divine love will be the key to grasp the consummation of human life and the world. On the last day the mystery of love will be brought into completion, the love that we share with God and with one another will show its real joy and this is all because the redeeming love of God will finally reach its ‘climax’ and fulfillment. The love of God which has brought everything into life is far greater than the anguish of death and the bitter separation it causes us. Through our hope in love the difficulty and uncertainty in facing the reality of death diminishes, most especially when we take seriously and apply in our life the message of Christ’s glorious Resurrection.

Most of us today prefer not to think of death too seriously because death is always associated with pain, distortion of our dreams and goals in life, separation, and many other trials that we hope will not happen either to us or to our loved ones. But no matter how hard we try to avoid the thought of death we are aware that sooner or later each of us will encounter death. Because death is the final universal phenomenon: no matter how wealthy, influential, powerful, beautiful, healthy and holy we are, we all must die. Jesus himself did not escape the reality of death. However, his own experience of death reveals the love of God to humanity, even if we are all tainted with sin and evil desires. Christ’s Resurrection from the dead is God’s self-manifestation and revelation of his love to humanity. Thus a foretaste of our human destiny at the coming of the Last Day is available for us. It is because God loves us.

Happy Mothers' Day

Hi Ina, alam kong di mo naman ito mababasa ngayon dahil wala sa bahay ang computer natin. Binati na kita kanina pero babatiin uli kita dito sa blogs ko para malaman mo na special ka. Happy Mothers' Day po sa inyo, at sa lahat ng mga ina na katulad mo.

Just an hour

This is my 3 minute introduction for our Holy Hour at Corpus Christi College Chapel last April 24, 2005, 5:00 pm.

We Catholics believe that Jesus is really present in the Blessed Sacrament. For us Catholics, the Holy Eucharist is not just a symbol. It is not just a memory. It is not just a promise. It is really Jesus Christ. Thus, in the Eucharistic adoration we recognize and honor the Presence of the Body and Blood of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament. We believe this for only one reason, because Christ Jesus tells us so, and we believe Him. Our devotion to the Eucharistic Presence consists in spending an hour before the Blessed Sacrament. It draws its inspiration from Christ’s words to the Apostles in Gethsemane: “Can you not watch one hour with me?”
In a very few moments, the Most Blessed Sacrament will be exposed in front of us, on this altar. As the Presence of Christ will be present before us during the Holy Hour, we will also place ourselves before Jesus, to adore him, to know him better, and to be excited about His Sacramental Presence under the appearances of humble bread.

Cardinal Vidal, the only Filipino cardinal who attended the last conclave, once said, “We (Catholics) should be the one to challenge our people to come to where Jesus is, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament. Anyone who truly appreciates the gift of the Holy Eucharist would never think of leaving the Catholic Church.”

Indeed, the value of a single holy hour of prayer is beyond our capability to think, imagine, or even desire… (Cardinal Sin)

Happy Bday Lola

Birthday ngayon ng lola Sining ko. Kung buhay siya 88 years old na siya ngayon. Ano kaya kung buhay siya ngayon? Malakas kaya siya o may sakit? Gagawin pa rin kaya niya ang mga bagay na lagi niyang ginagawa nung buhay pa siya? Ano kaya ang itsura niya ngayon? Ganun pa rin kaya ang boses niya? Mahilig pa rin kaya siyang kumain ng usbong ng bayabas? Kukwentuhan pa rin kaya niya ako ng mga karanasan niya nuong panahon niya?
Bakit kaya tumatanda ang tao? Bakit kaya namamatay ang tao?

Bakit kadalasan ala-ala na lang naiiwan sa atin? Oo, alam ko buhay siya ngayon pero nanduon na siya sa ‘kabila.’

Mahalaga sa lola Sining ko ang buwan ng Mayo, hindi dahil sa birthday niya kundi dahil ang buwan na ito ay nakatalaga para sa Mahal na Birheng Maria. Natatandaan ko nuong maliit pa lang ako halos araw-araw sa buwan ng Mayo tuwing hapon ay maraming tao sa bahay ng lola ko. Karamihan ay puro bata din na tulad ko. Magtatawag ang lola ko sa mga laruan kaya halos lahat kami madudungis pag pasok sa bahay niya. Kanya-kanya kaming hanap ng puwesto na mauupuan sa sala. Lahat kami ay may dala-dalang bulaklak na kapipitas lamang sa kapitbahay o sa may tabi ng kalsada. Iba’t ibang ganyak ang mga bulaklak – may nakalagay sa pinggan, sa baso, o tangan-tangan lamang. May gumamela, santan, rosal, kalachuchi, santan na kulaw puti na mabango. Iaalay namin ang mga bulaklak na ito bilang pagpaparangal sa Mahal na Birhen pagkatapos naming mag-dasal at mag-rosaryo sa pamumuno ng lola ko. Nakapila kami sa pag-aalay ng bulaklak. Di ko na maalala ang kinakanta namin nun pero yung melody na isip ko pa, at gusto kong ulit-ulitin ito sa isip ko. Excited kaming lahat pag natapos na ang dasal dahil ang susunod ay ang pinakakaabangan naming…meryenda! Siyempre tulakan kami sa pila sa pagkuha ng pagkain (parang mga bata). Bawat araw iba-iba ng niluluto ng lola ko; ginataang munggo o mais, sotanghon, puto, biko, arozcaldo, atbp. Pero ngayong wala na si lola Sining. Limang taon nang walang mga batang nagdadasal sa bahay niya tuwing buwan ng Mayo.

Oopps time is up na… I have to end my entry for today may assignment pa kasi ako.

But before I go I’d like to dedicate my favourite song to my lola. It’s called “Miss You” by MYMP. I don’t think it is popular in the Philippines yet but I’m sure that those people who have already heard this song found it an awesome composition. This song is very appropriate for long distance relationships or those lovers who got separated. I used to think of my former crushes whenever I play this song but now I got confused whom I’m really singing this song for. I thought of this person, and another, and then another, until I realized they do not think or “miss” me anyway. But I am sure my lola Sining is thinking of me and missing me as I do miss her. Para sa inyo po ito.

"Miss you…
Everyday and every night,
this feeling I’d fight
Try as I might but I won’t win,
I surrender I’d die
You are winning here alright
Every morning when the sun would shine on me I’d flash a smile but deep inside
I feel so sad and lonely
I need you here and now
I miss you
It’s crazy to pretend
that I don’t think of you
The more this feeling just seems to grow and grow
I miss you
Oh how much longer can I hold on to
Maybe you can come and tell me that you miss me too… Miss you...All I want is for this love to last forever. You walked away, never came back, oh I tried to recover I can’t bear it boy (lola), alright When I hear a song that we had used to share I’ll try as I might to hide the tears, and when the pain is over I’ll wish that you are near.
Miss you…"

Welcome to me

Eto ko ngayon naglilipat ng blog-blog ko. Mas okay kasi ang graphics dito sulit!

From my friendster.blog April 08, 2005 title: Nawala

Ang tagal kong nag-compose nang aking unang blog message. Nang matapos ko na ay bigla na lang nawala! Isang simpleng reflection lang naman iyon sa buhay ni Pope John Paul II. Next time na lang.

Good Shepherd Sunday

I gave this talk last weekend in all four Masses in Gladstone Park. In all those four occasions this piece only served as my guide because I added some reflective thoughts (or should I say more jokes).**

Vocation Talk: Good Shepherd Sunday April 15, 2005
Good Shepherd Parish, Gladstone Park Parish Priest: Fr. Victor Buhagiar

Introduction

My name is John Joel Vergara. I am a sixth-year seminarian from Corpus Christi College in Carlton. I was born in the Philippines and arrived here in Australia four years ago.

Every year, we seminarians from Corpus Christi College, go out to different parishes on “Good Shepherd Sunday” also known as “Vocation Sunday”, which is today. We share our vocations story in all weekend Masses, hoping to encourage many young people (and those “young at hearts”) to consider God’s call to priesthood and religious life.Today is a special day, as Catholics around the world are united; praying for the increase of priests and religious brothers and sisters. We pray for new shepherds and pastors who will lead Christian communities and families.

The Shepherd and the sheep

In today’s Gospel, Jesus speaks of himself, “I am the GATE of the sheepfold.” Jesus is the gateway or entrance to the sheepfold or pasture, which is the true home of sheep, where they are safe and cared for.

We also hear the intimate relationship between the sheep and the Shepherd. The sheep hear and recognize and follow their Shepherd’s voice. They follow the voice of their Shepherd because it assures them security, away from wild animals or thieves.

Perhaps you would know this better because we don’t have sheep in the Philippines. First, the climate is too hot to keep the sheep. And secondly, we don’t have enough space for the sheep, we are too crowded already. I think that’s why I am here. I have heard that here in Australia there are more sheep than the people!

Who and what influence me to enter the seminary.

Looking back from my own vocational journey I can’t remember anything dramatic event in my life. I didn’t hear a big voice of God calling me from heaven: “My Son, come follow me, enter the seminary.” Not at all! It’s funny because when I was a young boy I never of becoming a priest. My dad is a retired police officer, and so I my first dream was to be like him. I would like to be a soldier; I thought it would be a good idea to carry a gun around my waist, like my father.

I grew up in a Catholic family and we used to pray the Rosary every night. But I think it was my grandmother who made the greatest impact on my vocation. When she was still alive, I remember every time I come to her place she was either praying a Rosary with my grandfather or reading a Bible. Once when I told her that I joined the Altar Servers in our parish she immediately sewed me my first soutane.

Why I want to become a priest?

My friends in high school also created a great influence why I am here today. I don’t why most of friends in high school all wanted to become priests. Maybe because we just couldn’t attract girls at that time! In high school I was thinking of three things: to be a military officer, to be an architect, and lastly, to be a priest. Priest was always my last option. I could not imagine myself growing old without a wife. And also I got easily attracted with girls. So I think it was impossible for me to be a priest.

However, God’s plan is not my plan. God has a better plan in my life. I believe this is true to each one of us. Immediately after high school at tender age of 16, I entered the seminary. I spent five years of my life inside the seminary which was not really a great deal as long as we play basketball everyday. But more importantly I developed a strong devotion to the Eucharist, to Mary, and other saints and I had a deeper understanding about my vocation. To the long story short I left my seminary in the Philippines and decided to continue my training here in Australia.

Seminary Formation at Corpus Christi

In Australia in takes seven years to become a priest. Seminary academic training includes the study of Philosophy, Systematic Theology, Church history, Scriptures and Sacraments. We go for pastoral work once a week; some go to primary and secondary schools; nursing homes; hospitals; prisons; and alcoholic centers. But other than this serious business we have drama course, music practice and sports activities, we play specially soccer.

We have students from different nationalities and backgrounds we have engineers, lawyers, a doctor, accountants, teachers, and high school graduates. We begin the day in the seminary with Morning Prayer at 6:45 am, followed by 30 minute meditation and then Mass. We go to Catholic Theological College in East Melbourne to attend lectures during the day or in the evening. We are 41 altogether this year, which is a good number, and with your continuous support and prayer we will increase more in number in the next coming years.

Gospel’s Challenge

But do we really need priests today? We heard may people say that religion only divide the people. Sometimes when we talk about our faith, about God or about Jesus people ridicule us. Do we still need a Shepherd in a rich country like Australia? In a well-developed and secular society God has a very little space. As we see there is a very poor attendance of young people in Sunday Masses. I feel sad, discouraged, and challenged.

But when I watched the funeral of Pope John Paul II last week, I was amazed with the numbers of young people around the world who strongly support the pope, who are faithful to the Church. This means the Church is not dead. The Church is still alive in many hearts of young people. So, this means the Church needs more employers.

Duc in altum

Pope John Paul’s message for Vocation Sunday was always based on the theme: Duc in Altum- “Called to Put Out into the Deep.” In particular he addresses young people to follow Christ with conviction: “Trust Christ; listen attentively to his teachings, fix your eyes on his face, persevere in listening his Word.”

Conclusion

After this Mass I will make myself available Mass for those who have questions or just want to have a chat.

I brought some brochures with me, please feel free to get one or two, you may give them to your neighbours, friends, brothers, children, grandchildren…(and even to your boyfriend, perhaps God is calling him as well!)
I pray that all of us may continue to follow the voice of Jesus, our Good Shepherd, whether we are called to married life, single life, priesthood and religious life, so that we may all “have life and have it to the full.”

Post Script

Saturday. 5.30 pm Mass.

Unang hirit. Sa simula pa lang ng Misa kinabahan na ako pero alang magagawa dahil nagsimula na nga ang Misa. Pag nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa ganitong pagkakataon lagi kong naiisip, “Sa klase since elementary mas nanaisin ko pa ang mamamatay (o madapa na lang kaya) kaysa magsalita sa harapan ng mga classmates ko. Hindi ko inisip na lagi pala akong haharap at magsasalita sa tao paglaki ko…” Na-overcome ko naman ang kaba ko, lalo na nang mapansin kong biling bili nila ang jokes ko, at kahit kapag serious na ako. Mas mainam na sa tao ang medyo kinakabahan kesa sobra ang self-confidence, it’s a humbling experience ika nga pag kinakabahan ka sa public speaking. After ng Mass para akong pulitiko na bumabati sa mga tao. Kamay dito kamay duon. Kaso alang picture:(. Isang taga-Cebu na nanay ang nagpakilala sa akin kasama ang kanyang 2 anak na lalaki, grade 3 and 4, puti ang tatay nila. Nakakatuwa dahil sabi nung isang bata magpapari din daw siya.

7:00pm Mass.

Bago magsimula ang Misa may lumapit sa akin na matanda habang hinahanapan ko ng corrections ang talk ko. Winelcome nya ako sa parokya, Yvonne daw ang pangalan niya. Lumabas na ako sa simbahan para ayusin ang mga brochures. Tapos may nagpakilala na Yvonne din ang pangalan pero mas bata siya, 56 years old. Ilang sandali pa ay lumapit uli si Yvonne na matanda. Halos lahat ng pumapasok sa simbahan kilala niya at lahat ipinakikilala sa akin na para bang dun na ako titira. May nakilala akong Singaporean sabi sa akin, “Mabuhay!” Kasama niya ang dalawa niyang anak si Josh, year 12., at Erica (yata?), studyante sa Melbourne University, half-Chinese @ half-Caucasian, maganda siya, artistahin sa atin. Binigyan ko siya ng mission na magbigay ng brochures sa university na kung saan ako gumadweyt kahapon. After ng Mass mas marami akong nakilala. Natutuwa daw sila sa kwento ko. May dalawang Pilipino na nagsimba, isang buntis at isang lalaki (di ko alam kung buntis, hehe). Nalaman ko na si Yvonne (senior) ay dati palang madre sa America; lumabas at nakapag-asawa. Kaya pala iba ang karisma!Sunday.

9:15am Mass.

Nagdrive kami ni Fr. Victor sa Greenvale, around 20 minute drive ang layo. Ang ganda ng location, super sa laki ang mga bahay, parang sa abroad, kaya lang napakatahimik. Wala man lang naglalakad sa kalsada. Ang simbahan ay nasa loob ng gymnasium ng isang school, parang temporary lang pero permanent na daw ito.

Una kong nakilala ko si Maria, Italian lady, napaka-friendly niya, at naikwento na halos sa akin ang buong buhay niya. Before ng Mass busy siya sa pagwelcome sa mga tao at pagbibigay ng parish bulletin, pagtapos ng Misa busy naman siya sa kitchen may konting salu-salo kasi ang mga tao pagka-simba. Sa Pilipinas gawin ito siguradong magsisimba lahat ng mga tao…kahit yung mga nakasimba na.

Halos Italiano lahat ang mga nagsimba, may ilang Maltese, Croatian, at may 5 Pilipino na taga Quezon Province. Masaya pag katapos ng Misa dahil halos magkakakilala lahat ang mga tao. Ganito sana sa lahat ng lugar. Inimbatahan akong kumain sa bahay nung Pilipino kaso may schedule na ako. Halos lahat lumapit sa akin at nagpasalamat, bata, matanda at teen-agers.

11am Mass

(Last na ito at sa wakas makakagimik din ako pagkatapos.)

Balik uli kami ni Padre sa home parish. Nagulat ako bago magsimula ang Misa, nakita ko ang ate Hazel ko, humahangos at umupo sa pinakaharapan kasama si Joshua at Jaya. (Na-extra ko tuloy siya nung magsalita na ako.) Hindi ako sanay magsalita na nanduon ang ate ko, kasi alam niya ang mga kalokohan ko. Malakas pa rin ako sa kanya, pangalawang Misa na raw niya ito, dinayo pa talaga ako. Katouch.

Mas puno ang simbahan ngayon, ang daming tao, mas maraming Pinoy (kaya naextra din sila sa speech ko). Mas marami akong nakilala ngayon pero ala na akong matandaan sa mga pangalan nila. Ewan ko, hindi ko gusto pag nagiging-center of attraction ako, napepressure ako, gusto akong kausapin ng mga tao, nag-aantay sila, lalo na iyong grupo ng mga Pilipino. Mabuti na lang nandyan ang ate ko, pinapakilala ko siya sa kausap ko para makalipat naman sa iba. “Sana’y pala siyang mag-tagalog” sabi ng isa Pilipina. Sabi ko, “hindi po!” May mga nag-invite sa akin ng kumain sa bahay nila, may nag-invite din mag-talk sa meeting nila, pero di ako pwede. Ang saya-saya pag madaming tao. Mamaya mag-isa na lang ako sa kuwarto ko :(…pero gigimik muna ako!

Mission accomplished.