Someone's Birthday

Today is her birthday.

It seems it’s only yesterday when I saw her for the very first time. That was already thirteen years ago. I was in 2nd year high school and she was in first year. Oh, it’s been a long time now…she was only 13 then… I could still remember her face, her dress, her long straight black hair, her simplicity, her sweet smile, her friendliness and everything associated with her. I could still remember today how I felt about her… I think I could even write a novel about her, really.

December 1999 was a momentous time of the year and I marked that day as memorable event of life. First, because it was the last time that I have spoken with her though very briefly. And secondly, it was when she introduced me to her husband. She told me she got married in June that year. I firmly shook the hands of her husband. I just realised today – never did I have had the chance to hold even just the tip of her finger. For me she was sacred.
I want to remember her today in my prayers and thank her for I would not be what I am today had I not meet her thirteen years ago.

This is a short journal I wrote in June 2001:

When I was in high school I fell in love for the very first time with a beautiful young girl. I kept this strange feeling for many years until she went to live overseas. I underwent a mixture of feelings of joy and pain in loving her. An experience of joy because love made all things new to myself, in the same way, it created empty spaces in my heart. I suffered incompleteness and disordered emotions because I did not receive any love in return. My spiritual director prayerfully advised me to ask Jesus to let him fill up all the emptiness and heal the pain in my heart for he himself is the greatest of all love.

In my reflection, when people feel unloved and rejected, I believe this can be an opportunity to identify with the Incarnate God who loves us boundlessly but was often rejected. I believe my human imperfections have caused myself to be rejected. But in terms of God’s love there is no reason for his love to be rejected for he created us and gave up his life for us, and through this we have been placed twice in his debt.

I thank God in prayer for the affliction, bitterness and joy as a consequence of loving someone because I learned how to unveil my vulnerability as he did when he became human like us. Most of all, I thank God for his wondrous love for me: for the gift of life, for the gift of vocation, and for the gift of the Church and of the whole human family. May God grant me more blessing and grace so I can love him more than my own efforts of loving him.”

Finding hope

The Philippines was featured in “The Australian” daily last Monday, 23 May 2005. The news entitled “Where jail is a sentence worse than death” is about the horrific condition of prisons in Manila. There are pictures in the broadsheet depicting the desperate situation of my fellow Filipinos crammed into a jail cell literally living like inside a can of sardines where they do not have enough floor space to lie down. The Australian journalist writes about this particular jail in Navotas which was designed to accommodate 80 prisoners but at the last count it held 533 people!

I myself have been in the prison a few times some years ago for pastoral visitation. I saw with my own eyes the dire conditions where the accused murderers, drug addicts, prostitutes and other criminals spend their daily lives (or lifetime for others) as a consequence of their misconduct at the outside world. Prisoners are deprived of their freedom in order to rehabilitate their moral lives but like every human beings they equally deserve to live with human dignity. The inhuman condition of many Filipinos inside the jail is morally unjustifiable.
Until now I still get upset every time I remember that Monday report about my beloved country. It is not just the worsening condition of the prisoners that angers me but the social injustice in the Philippines specifically the widening gap between the rich and the poor. The over crowded prisons in the Philippines is just one of the indications that our economic and social condition do not show any reduction in the poverty. Bakit naghihirap pa rin ang Pilipino? At ano ang magagawa ko?

Facts and figures of the Philippines

• Population: 84 million
• Workforce: 35.7 million. January unemployment rate rose to 11.3 percent, up 0.3 per cent from same time last year
• 36 children a day are jailed in The Philippines and 20 minors are on death row; there are 2100 children 1222 jails
• The country’s debt to revenue ratio is twice as bad as Argentina’s was in 2001 when the South American country defaulted on debt payments
• Child malnutrition rates are higher in The Philippines than in North Korea, says Unicef 33 per cent of the population suffers from hunger Crime rates rose 10 per cent last year
  

Nakakalungkot. Nakakainis...

Death where is your sting?

Death na naman ang topic ko. Kasi last week ko pa iniisip May pa lang ngayon wala pa tayo sa kalagitnaan ng taon, ilang tao na, na kakilala ko na ang namamatay, isama natin ang mga kilalang tao, hindi pa kasama diyan ang mga kakilala ng mga kakilala ko. Ito ang mga kakilala ko na namatay na pagpasok ng taon.(not in order)

1. Daisy David - ahead ako ng one year sa highschool at best friend ng crush ko sa high-school.
2. Angel Andan- kilalang businessman sa Pulilan
3. Tita Perlie- asawa ng pinsan ng Ama ko na taga-Bongabon. Dinalaw pa namin siya
4. Tata Piling- pinsan ng lolo ko. Medyo takot ako sa kanya nuong bata ako kasi medyo duling siya.
5. Pope John Paul II- lahat nakakakilala sa kanya. Nakita ko siya sa Luneta nuong World Day '95
6. Daddy ni Sem. Larry Rustia at kapatid ni Fr. Toti Rustia. Magkausap kami last year December 8, sa open house ng Immaculate Conception Seminary
7. Fr. Paul Jackson, OP.- Dominican na pari na nakilala ko sa nursing home nuong 2002. Pinakita niya sa akin ang Doctoral Thesis niya in Latin na isinulat na sa Roma nuong bata pa siya. Di pa uso ang computer nuon. Inaabot daw siya ng 4am. Minsan tinawanag niya ako habang nakaupo siya sa wheelchair sabi nya (in English), "tignan mo yun madre na iyon, wala siya Doctorate in Theology pero alam niya ipadama ang pag-mamahal ng Diyos sa kanyang kapwa."
8. Ciara Marie Abalos- Anak ni Benhur Abalos, apo ni Comelec Comm. Benjamin Abalos; namatay siya dahil sa e-coli virus. Nabasa ko ang blog niya. Tulad ko nagsusulat din siya blog.
9. Reymundo Punongbayan- dating Director ng PHILVOCS
10. Mrs Tadeo- grade 3 teacher sa Pulilan Central School

Merong pang iba pero di lang maalala sa ngayon.

Nasasaan na kaya sila? Ano ang saysay ng buhay? Para saan ang relasyon natin ngayon? Ano ang mangyayari sa kahuli-hulihang panahon o sa katapusan ng mundo (eschaton)? Eto ang hinanap kong kasagutan sa aking sa seminar paper last week sa Theology of Human Person.

In Christian tradition, eschatology is understood as a belief in the last things when everything in the world will finally reach its fulfillment according to the divine plan of God, who is both the Origin and the End. To develop a deeper understanding of eschatology we cannot ignore the reality of our ‘individual eschatology’ that is the death of every human being, our loved ones, friends and including our own deaths. The inevitability of our own death leaves us with two important questions: How are we going to make sense of the mystery of death? How can we approach the reality of the darkness, the destruction and annihilation that accompanies the experience of death at the end of life?

In his article, “In the End Love,” Gerald O’Collins introduces his experimental essay on the application of love in seeking to understand better the mystery of eschatology (amor qaerens intellectum eschatologicum). O’Collins expresses his discontent about the post-conciliar and modern understanding of the theology of eschatology because the theme of love has apparently been neglected and not given its due importance. Although he admits that his version of rethinking eschatology in the key of love is obviously incomplete, he argues that the theme of love has advantages and could well be adapted and applied to eschatology – the human mystery of death, the life after death and the end of all things.

O’Collins presents eight characteristics of love drawn largely from human and Christian experience. Each aspect of love equally corresponds with a clearer Christian view of eschatology. These characteristics are as follow – the creativity of love; the love as beyond reason; the acceptance and approval of love; the redeeming love; the self-manifestation and self-revelation of love; the reconciliation and unity in love; the joy of love; and the link between the beauty and love. Since the essence of God is love, it is appropriate to anticipate the coming of the eschaton more particularly from the perspective of love. O’Collins describes it best saying, “the final coming of Christ will be nothing more and nothing less than the definitive coming of divine love.”

O’Collins’ theory of “love seeking eschatological understanding” perhaps could be seen by an analyses of a short article “Always Easter” written by Jim Green. Jim is a father who lost his 25 year-old son Dominic from an accident which he describes as a “sudden and violent death.” Jim expresses in his essay the trauma of his son’s death and the depth of the wound that it had left him. He recalls the memories of Dominic when he was still alive, as a young boy, and those important family occasions they shared together. This recollection has brought Jim to raise existential questions regarding the death his beloved son, and ultimately the meaning of the Resurrection. He asks, “Where is Dominic? What is he doing? Whom is he with and is he happy? Most of all, is he all right?” These words obviously are expressions of love and care of a parent to his child. Would the love between a parent and child vanish forever after death? Would the love that we share to other people never make sense at all when we die? What about the love that binds us with our parents, brothers and sisters? What about the love and affection between a man and a woman? Does our human love including its joys and sacrifices will perish at the second coming of our Lord?

The response of O’Collins according to what he has set out in his essay would be that our human love and the divine love will be the key to grasp the consummation of human life and the world. On the last day the mystery of love will be brought into completion, the love that we share with God and with one another will show its real joy and this is all because the redeeming love of God will finally reach its ‘climax’ and fulfillment. The love of God which has brought everything into life is far greater than the anguish of death and the bitter separation it causes us. Through our hope in love the difficulty and uncertainty in facing the reality of death diminishes, most especially when we take seriously and apply in our life the message of Christ’s glorious Resurrection.

Most of us today prefer not to think of death too seriously because death is always associated with pain, distortion of our dreams and goals in life, separation, and many other trials that we hope will not happen either to us or to our loved ones. But no matter how hard we try to avoid the thought of death we are aware that sooner or later each of us will encounter death. Because death is the final universal phenomenon: no matter how wealthy, influential, powerful, beautiful, healthy and holy we are, we all must die. Jesus himself did not escape the reality of death. However, his own experience of death reveals the love of God to humanity, even if we are all tainted with sin and evil desires. Christ’s Resurrection from the dead is God’s self-manifestation and revelation of his love to humanity. Thus a foretaste of our human destiny at the coming of the Last Day is available for us. It is because God loves us.

Happy Mothers' Day

Hi Ina, alam kong di mo naman ito mababasa ngayon dahil wala sa bahay ang computer natin. Binati na kita kanina pero babatiin uli kita dito sa blogs ko para malaman mo na special ka. Happy Mothers' Day po sa inyo, at sa lahat ng mga ina na katulad mo.

Just an hour

This is my 3 minute introduction for our Holy Hour at Corpus Christi College Chapel last April 24, 2005, 5:00 pm.

We Catholics believe that Jesus is really present in the Blessed Sacrament. For us Catholics, the Holy Eucharist is not just a symbol. It is not just a memory. It is not just a promise. It is really Jesus Christ. Thus, in the Eucharistic adoration we recognize and honor the Presence of the Body and Blood of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament. We believe this for only one reason, because Christ Jesus tells us so, and we believe Him. Our devotion to the Eucharistic Presence consists in spending an hour before the Blessed Sacrament. It draws its inspiration from Christ’s words to the Apostles in Gethsemane: “Can you not watch one hour with me?”
In a very few moments, the Most Blessed Sacrament will be exposed in front of us, on this altar. As the Presence of Christ will be present before us during the Holy Hour, we will also place ourselves before Jesus, to adore him, to know him better, and to be excited about His Sacramental Presence under the appearances of humble bread.

Cardinal Vidal, the only Filipino cardinal who attended the last conclave, once said, “We (Catholics) should be the one to challenge our people to come to where Jesus is, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament. Anyone who truly appreciates the gift of the Holy Eucharist would never think of leaving the Catholic Church.”

Indeed, the value of a single holy hour of prayer is beyond our capability to think, imagine, or even desire… (Cardinal Sin)

Happy Bday Lola

Birthday ngayon ng lola Sining ko. Kung buhay siya 88 years old na siya ngayon. Ano kaya kung buhay siya ngayon? Malakas kaya siya o may sakit? Gagawin pa rin kaya niya ang mga bagay na lagi niyang ginagawa nung buhay pa siya? Ano kaya ang itsura niya ngayon? Ganun pa rin kaya ang boses niya? Mahilig pa rin kaya siyang kumain ng usbong ng bayabas? Kukwentuhan pa rin kaya niya ako ng mga karanasan niya nuong panahon niya?
Bakit kaya tumatanda ang tao? Bakit kaya namamatay ang tao?

Bakit kadalasan ala-ala na lang naiiwan sa atin? Oo, alam ko buhay siya ngayon pero nanduon na siya sa ‘kabila.’

Mahalaga sa lola Sining ko ang buwan ng Mayo, hindi dahil sa birthday niya kundi dahil ang buwan na ito ay nakatalaga para sa Mahal na Birheng Maria. Natatandaan ko nuong maliit pa lang ako halos araw-araw sa buwan ng Mayo tuwing hapon ay maraming tao sa bahay ng lola ko. Karamihan ay puro bata din na tulad ko. Magtatawag ang lola ko sa mga laruan kaya halos lahat kami madudungis pag pasok sa bahay niya. Kanya-kanya kaming hanap ng puwesto na mauupuan sa sala. Lahat kami ay may dala-dalang bulaklak na kapipitas lamang sa kapitbahay o sa may tabi ng kalsada. Iba’t ibang ganyak ang mga bulaklak – may nakalagay sa pinggan, sa baso, o tangan-tangan lamang. May gumamela, santan, rosal, kalachuchi, santan na kulaw puti na mabango. Iaalay namin ang mga bulaklak na ito bilang pagpaparangal sa Mahal na Birhen pagkatapos naming mag-dasal at mag-rosaryo sa pamumuno ng lola ko. Nakapila kami sa pag-aalay ng bulaklak. Di ko na maalala ang kinakanta namin nun pero yung melody na isip ko pa, at gusto kong ulit-ulitin ito sa isip ko. Excited kaming lahat pag natapos na ang dasal dahil ang susunod ay ang pinakakaabangan naming…meryenda! Siyempre tulakan kami sa pila sa pagkuha ng pagkain (parang mga bata). Bawat araw iba-iba ng niluluto ng lola ko; ginataang munggo o mais, sotanghon, puto, biko, arozcaldo, atbp. Pero ngayong wala na si lola Sining. Limang taon nang walang mga batang nagdadasal sa bahay niya tuwing buwan ng Mayo.

Oopps time is up na… I have to end my entry for today may assignment pa kasi ako.

But before I go I’d like to dedicate my favourite song to my lola. It’s called “Miss You” by MYMP. I don’t think it is popular in the Philippines yet but I’m sure that those people who have already heard this song found it an awesome composition. This song is very appropriate for long distance relationships or those lovers who got separated. I used to think of my former crushes whenever I play this song but now I got confused whom I’m really singing this song for. I thought of this person, and another, and then another, until I realized they do not think or “miss” me anyway. But I am sure my lola Sining is thinking of me and missing me as I do miss her. Para sa inyo po ito.

"Miss you…
Everyday and every night,
this feeling I’d fight
Try as I might but I won’t win,
I surrender I’d die
You are winning here alright
Every morning when the sun would shine on me I’d flash a smile but deep inside
I feel so sad and lonely
I need you here and now
I miss you
It’s crazy to pretend
that I don’t think of you
The more this feeling just seems to grow and grow
I miss you
Oh how much longer can I hold on to
Maybe you can come and tell me that you miss me too… Miss you...All I want is for this love to last forever. You walked away, never came back, oh I tried to recover I can’t bear it boy (lola), alright When I hear a song that we had used to share I’ll try as I might to hide the tears, and when the pain is over I’ll wish that you are near.
Miss you…"